Could I Interest You in a Romper?

I have six dear friends who are celebrating Mother's Day this year with a new baby... two of whom gave birth this past week! I think this is an extraordinary constellation. It's ironic that this is my first Mother's Day without my own mother, and yet I've gained a half dozen!

My Mother's May Crown goes to:

Lisa Palac: for Arabella, her first daughter, and sister to Marson;
Kerry Donahue: for Stella, her first child;
Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano: for Caesare, their first child;
Sam Zee: for Finnegan, her first son and brother to Ella; and
Ursula Bruckman: for Ava, for her first daughter, and sister to Zack!

I've made outfits for every single one of these new babies, my first foray into infantile dressmaking.  I also made my own teenage "baby" two sundresses that are causing people to slam on their brakes in the street and pledge their undying love. Well, maybe it's not my handiwork— it's just her.  But it sure is a treat to see her abandon her teenybopper jeans for original couture from The House of Quesie. 

I have invited all the local moms on my list to come over for a fete in their honor this morning. I'm making them a big breakfast with flowers and so on. None of them know about the outfits yet. I am daring to post pictures, because they are all too frickin' exhausted to check the Internet.  It will probably be a year before they open their email.

What I've learned is while I have zero interest in babysitting— (crying infants make me feel like a psychopath)— I am delighted to make clothes for them.  While I cannot suckle or soothe your child, I can clothe her!

As some of you know, I have not made clothes for anyone but myself in my past three years of sewing madness...I've been consumed with how to make attractive designs for myself, and crack the code for how to force fabric to wrap itself attractively around BREASTS. 

Some people think that the fashion industry only makes clothes for flat-chested models because they are misogynist bastards. Not so!  The reason for Flatsie-Patsy designs on the runway is because sewing for curves is like trying to squeeze a round peg in a square hole!  It's a fabric-wrestling nightmare!  This is why expert, couture dressmaking focuses on B-cups, and even then, requires every bit of dexterity and optical illusion. When you see a well fitting dress or blouse on a full-bosomed woman, you need to walk up and congratulate her and ask her for every detail on how she obtained it.  Ask Pam Anderson how she manages it!-- I bet she spends a fortune.  She's not kidding when she says tits look best in the nude.

Of course, fabrics with lycra are a major revolution in this quest, but THOSE fabrics require special $100 feet for your sewing machine, among countless other accessories, and a top-made machine, so that you don't lose your mind trying to control your yardage.  I see all these beginner sewers in the fabric shop, snapping up the groovy stretch velvets, and I know that they are going to be in hot tears within hours of just trying to cut the stuff out, let alone sew it. Someone needs to tell them they need to take a loan to get involved with knits if they are ever to be happy.

The point is, I discovered that sewing baby clothes is the perfect reprieve and meditation after struggling with full bust adjustments. First of all, you're generally buying cotton for babies, the fabric that was meant to be cut, ripped, needled and pressed. Second, there is no shape to worry about. Who cares how big their diaper is? The biggest concern is what exquisite button you're going to sew on at the end. It is so easy, so fun, and the first time I giggled my way through a sewing project. I stopped every few minutes to gasp, "This is so cute I can't stand it!" I don't usually do that.  My darling cup has runneth over.

Here are my baby pattern recommendations...

If you are pressed for time, do not get anything with a ruffle. This will take some doing, because babygirl clothes are all about ruffles. But don't do it the hard way! Get the girls a plain triangle dress or romper pattern, and then buy some ready-made ruffle trim and  speed-sew that sucker on. This is how I did my baby girls' rumba panties, but just slapping on the lace after I was done with everything else.

Furthermore, it turns out the ROMPER pattern is easier to make than a dress, and in the future, I am making all the girls rompers when I am in mass production. It's unisex! 

I had thought the romper would be difficult, because it has snaps in the inner legs, for easy diapering, but that was before I realized that SNAP TAPE is the easy answer to such designs. The snaps are already sewn into a long piece of twill tape, which you buy by the yard. It's as easy as sewing on rick-rack.

The important thing with baby clothes, like all clothes for that matter, is the part that is center, high and front. The bib, the part on their chest, is the focus.  Who cares that my thread got all snarled up on the inner legs? No one sees it.  Remember to use interfacing where they ask for it; don't skimp. You need reinforcement at the stress points, because you know how rambunctious an angry baby can get! They don't give a shit about their new outfit!

Remember to buy fabrics that will please the parent, since the baby doesn't care. It's like you're buying for the adult's inner child. If you made an adult a romper in a fetching design, they would look like a miserable clown. What I love about these baby clothes is that you can come up with the most cunning, sentimental, drivel of a idea, and it looks FANTASTIC.  I could never wear fluorescent pink and white pom-poms on my chest... but it looks great on a baby.

I'm not sure how well you can see the picture I've posted of three of the outfits I made. The "Roy Rogers Romper" on the right is a print of old Hollywood Roy Rogers and Dale Evans posters. Stunning. The "Day of the Dead Romper" on the left is part of a  lot of prints these days that are evocative of surreal Mexican folk traditions... the Virgen de Guadalupe, Frida Kahlo, skeletons, romantic tattoos, etc.  The "I Love Paris" smock and rumba panty is an Eiffel Tower design that comes in many colors and is one of the most popular at our local shop. I made Aretha a square dancing outfit that has some of that Paris Pink in it, too. 

I got all the fabrics at Hart's, which carries a lot of Retro, Hawaiian, and Vintage-revival cotton prints. The pattern I used is Kwik Sex 3035. Yes, their pattern envelopes feature the world's dorkiest illustrations, but their sewing instructions and designs are superb. My sewing teacher, Jill Sanders gave me a lot of baby sewing tips, including this one:  when the instructions tell you to grade and clip the seams, because the area is so tiny, use a pinking shears!  What a timesaver that was. My own tip: Screw the understitching-- again, it's too tiny a margin to be concerned.  Everything with baby clothes is tiny; you  get in a "It's a Small World. After All" mood, and must eventually take a break to do something LARGE and ADULT. I went to watch the Kentucky Derby and drank Mint Juleps.