Susie Bright's Journal

Nancy Drew and the Case of the Female Orgasm!

The latest edition of  In Bed with Susie Bright #208:

Interview with Dr. Elisabeth Lloyd, author of The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution

You've seen reviews and editorials everywhere about this new book— in which Dr. Lloyd proves that all the evolutionary research into the whys and wherefores of female orgasm has largely been a bunch of rubbish.

In her treatise, Lloyd shows how any link between female orgasm and fertility or reproduction is entirely androcentric posturing by the science establishment.  As I asked her in our interview, "Didn't these guys talk to their own wives?"  I've heard all my career from women who shake their heads and confess:  "I had three children before I ever had a single orgasm."

The one theory Dr. Lloyd finds worth further pursuit is what is (unfortunately) titled "the Byproduct Theory," advanced by Donald Symons. Although the label makes women's orgasms sound like a can of Spam, I appreciate the actual scientific theory....   get a new name, I say!

Let me quote from the book to explain the byproduct theory:

"There is significant different between male and female orgasm, and it lies in the trait's past contribution to reproductive success.

"Symons chooses the example of the male nipple to make his point. Nipples are necessary to the reproductive success of any female mammal. (Milk substitutes were not available to our ancestors before the advent of agriculture, and thus could not have played a role in shaping the basic human form.) Therefore, there is strong and continuing selection pressure for female nipples. The male mammal gets nipples through sharing the same embryological form with female mammals. Thus his nipples are a byproduct of selection on the female mammal.

"Symon claims that female orgasm evolved in a similar way. Orgasm and ejaculation are strongly selected in men since they use the contractile pulses of orgasm as a sperm-delivery system. Strong selection on the male sexual tissues for performance of orgasm and sperm delivery is hence ongoing.

"Just as in the male nipple case, the opposite sex acquired the equipment in virtue of an early embryological commiemt. Females get the erectile and nervous tissue necessary for orgasm in virtue of the strong, ongoing selective pressure on males for sperm delivery system of male orgasm and ejaculation.

"To continue the parallel— I would add that either embryological bonus, the male nipple or the female orgasm equipment— can used by the gifted parties; males often inherit not only the nipple structure but al the pleasurable and sexual sensitivity of the female nipple, and  they can make use of this in their sexual practices.

"Similarly, the females inherit the clitoral organ, the structural erectile tissue, and the neural pathways needed to experience orgasm and can make use of them in their sexual practices."

I found reading Lloyd's book as electrifying as reading my first copy of The Dialectic of Sex.  I called her publisher the day I finished the last page and asked if I could interview her!

I've never seen a evolutionary account that proves the lack of connection between female orgasm and...  mothering.  Since our entire culture is bent on shaming women about their sexuality so that they will be virtuous wives and mothers, it's important to show that there is no evolutionary case that can be made for it... it is entirely ideological and manipulative.

Lloyd's candid and generous interview with me is something I know you'll want to hear if you've been intrigued with the book.

The very day we recorded our interview, that study came out about how women may or may not inherit their orgasmic ablity from their mothers. I thought it was a lot of hogwash-- another way for people to say, "Oh wow, it's out of my hands— I can't come, because mom couldn't come." I asked Dr. Lloyd what she thought of it, and as usual, she had a more careful reply:

Dear Susie, Here is a detailed explanation of the biology, since a lot of folks don't have the genetics background.  This is actually a technical site, devoted to people in my field, which
is why I posted here.  I'm entertaining the idea of starting my own blog, though....

At the end, I make  Dr. Lloyd helps help answer this week's "Try This At Home" mailbag question, in which a new mom has trouble balancing work, nursing, and her decreased libido.

I'd love to know if you're read the book and have any comments... and if you listen to my In Bed interview with her, tell me what you think!

Writers With Drinks and Maybe Milkshakes, Too

I'm on the road again, with some of my favorite authors from Three Kinds of Asking For It:

San Francisco:

July 7th                        
A Different Light, 7:00pm
with Susie Bright and Greta Christina

July 9th                        
Writers With Drinks , 7:30 pm, doors open at 7
A literary series held at the Make Out Room
with Susie Bright, Judy Grahn, (yes, the Judy Grahn, who I worship), Andre The Urban Hermitt & Lisa Geduldig

Santa Cruz:

August 3rd   
Capitola Book Cafe, 7:30pm 
with Susie Bright and Greta Christina

Los Angeles:

July 16th   
Skylight Books, 7:30pm
with Jill Soloway, Susie Bright, and Greta Christina

New York:

July 19th               
Bluestocking Bookstore, 7:00pm
Greta Christina holds court on her own with "Bending" .... I will  be there in spirit!

Boston:

September 25th
Grand Opening! Sexuality Boutique, 6:30 pm
308A Harvard Street, Brookline
Eric Albert, solo, reading from "Charmed I'm Sure"

Heat Sufficient to Melt An Ice Floe

Today is the debut my new book, Three Kinds of Asking For It— a trio of erotic novellas by three of my favorite authors. Would you like to read an excerpt?  Here is the opening of "Bending," by Greta Christina:

"She loved being bent over. More than any fiddling that might precede it, more than any fumbling sex act that might follow. The moment of being bent over was like a sex act to Dallas, like foreplay and climax blended into one swooning, too-short moment. A hand on her neck, pressing gently but firmly downward, felt like a tongue on her clit; a voice in her ear, telling her calmly and reasonably to bend over and pull down her pants, felt like a cock in her cunt... "

You can see why this grabbed my attention!  You can read the rest of Greta's opening chapter here, and I hope you will be stunned enough to demand the rest of the book.

Here's our latest praises:

From Publishers' Weekly:
Susie Bright Presents: Three Kinds of Asking for It
by Eric Albert, Greta Christina and Jill Soloway

Who needs a beach for this summer treat? Bright's imprimatur guarantees heat sufficient to melt an ice floe. As her editorial picks generally do, these novellas deliver not just heat but laughter, poignancy and even the occasional deep thought.

"The world is full of emptiness; without it there'd be nothing left": thus does a witch console a client left empty after a phenomenal sex spree in Albert's "Charmed I'm Sure."

And so it goes with Christina's heroine, Dallas, whose obsession is the eponymous "Bending." When an Internet find, Betsy, arrives to fulfill Dallas's submissive fantasies, it's "the best thing, ever"-except instead of satisfying Dallas, it seems to rob her of her defining passion.

Clever Bright saves dessert for last: Soloway's hilarious and sweetly lubricious confessions of 14-year-old Jodi, who has a mad crush on her best friend's father. Written in teen talk, "Jodi K" sometimes has the awkwardness of a translation. But it's enriched by fully realized portraits of family function and dysfunction, and even while sending up teenage erotic confessionals, it feels written from the heart as well as other regions of the body.

I'll be running excerpts from Eric and Jill's stories in the next couple weeks, as well as interviews with all three of the authors. If you have a question for Greta, Eric, or Jill, please do send it my way, and I'll put my editorial thumbscrews to them and extract the answer!  Actually, I bet it will be very easy...

Here are bios & photos of Jill, Eric, and Greta.

Here are some of the reviews  we've received from by Annie Sprinkle, Francesca Lia Block, Kirkus, Dossie Easton, Alan Ball, Sarah Silverman, KRK Ryden, and more...  I'm so proud of these authors; they deserve every word of this praise.

The Not-So-Horny Amoeba!

In Bed with Susie Bright,  #207: Baby Chicks!

I open this show by asking, "Are you now, are have you ever been, an amoeba?"

(Here's something new: I've uploaded a five minute audio clip of this show! It's a .ram file that you can listen to on RealPlayer.  If you like these clips, I'll try to include them regularly).

An amoeba is the web-inspired nickname for someone who doesn't have a sex drive and doesn't want to apologize for it any longer.   

The difference in the amoeba identity from people who choose celibacy, is that amoebas don't feel like they're making a sacrifice... they just don't feel lust. Their sexual desire is low to zero, and they don't feel like that's the end of the world.   

Amoebas dispute accusations that they're closet cases, trauma victims, misanthropes, etc. They want to get on with their busy social and intellectual lives and not be stigmatized any longer. They love their friends/family and want to be at peace with platonia.   

I'm not sure what I think of this yet. So I want to hear from you! 

Do you identify with amoebas yourself?

Have you ever been close to someone who did? 

How do you know that you're a person with low sex drive, as opposed to a person who is shut down in some unconscious way?

I agree, it is cruel to accuse people of being blind to their own hangups, or to say, in essence, "All you need is a good fuck."  But there's a grain of truth to these suspicions. We all know people who thought for years they had low sex drives until they finally discovered something that turned them on— something that was hidden to their conscious mind in the past. You do find people who "come out of the closet,"  you see people who go through therapy and find their sex drive, you have people who process trauma and find erotic rejuvenation on the other side.  But didn't they feel like amoebas for years?

It all seems so subjective to me.  I tend to think of sex drive like appetite.. it can be suppressed, but it's always there. 

There is something to hormone chemistry influencing your drive. But even that can be influenced by what you do with your time. If I just sat around waiting for something unbelievably sexy to happen to me, I could twiddle my thumbs all day. Lots of times I come to a sexual situation with nothing by willingness, or curiosity... I don't start feeling desire until I start doing something that I know will lead me there.

Another question I have about amoebas is the subject of masturbation. Some do, and some don't. None of them are getting hairy palms, of course, but for those who do, I would say, "Yes, you have a sex drive. You just aren't partner-oriented. Maybe you're just fed up with couplism/the dating scene/the demands of intimate relationships. Maybe you really have had a lot of mediocre sex with a partner and are too impatient to pretend like you're interested!"

Some of the women's amoeba sites I've visited remind me of early feminist statements, although they  do not use  that "f-word" at all. But  they are women who are sick of guys coming on to them and then being incredulous that the gal isn't interested. These women don't want to be peppered with accusations that they are unfulfilled, frigid, a dyke, or just waiting in stasis for the right guy to come along... The men they describe hassling them are right out of the Classic Male Chauvinist Pig manual. 

I'd prefer a more nuanced approach, since I already am entirely sympathetic to the idea that sexual harassment by boors is no one's idea of a good time.

What about the pain of craving affection, but not sex? What happens if you have serious romantic feelings about a loved one, but are repulsed by the idea of having sex with them? What do you do with people who you care about, as opposed to random strangers?

What happens to the creativity inspired by sexuality when you don't have a sex drive?  A lot of the joy of singing, dancing, writing, making things, etc., comes from a sexual place.

These questions are why amoebas puzzle me. I know that people can go years without partner sex, their whole lives, even, but I know that they are sexual human beings. But I have a hard time wrapping my objective mind around the notion that sex drive is ABSENT in an individual.

Please do chime in!

Also in this episode of In Bed  I take another look at the sex questions I got asked by a high school class in a small California town— which I first listed on this blog.

When the first anonymous student note I read out-loud was, "Why do some boys have that funky smell when you give them head?"  I had to keep on my toes!  Actually, that question was the perfect icebreaker, because we all collapsed in laughter, and had a good discussion about whether the answer is:

a) basic hygiene problem
b) freaky disease; you should call 911
c) maybe the smell of semen is just not your bag

Finally, the last of my show is about a Kansas judge who publicly apologizes for looking at porn sites at work, claiming he accidentally stumbled upon them while researching "baby chicks" for his poultry-raising business. Then, in the "Try This At Home" mailbag, a listener discovers "classic" porn films and is completely amazed.  Remember, you can mail me any of your questions for sex advice and the like to susie@susiebright.com.

How To Pick Up a Lobotomy

The latest edition of  "In Bed with Susie Bright,"  #206: How To Chat Up Women,  is out:

You thought Jeff Gannon in the White House was weird... how about the  Senator who gives  grotesque slideshows about late-stage venereal diseases to his entire staff until they turn green? — and then he offers them pizza! You can't make this shit up.

This week I uncover the lucrative, yet endlessly bizarre genre of books based on How to Pick Up Girls.  The original author of that cliché, Eric Weber, is  still laughing all the way to the bank, but I doubt he's getting laid.  Weber's multitude of copycats are one pissed-off crew— their whole approach to seduction is based on self-directed loathing — and fearsome female phobia.  If you were scared of chicks to begin with, or even slightly insecure, you'll be lightly dropped over the railing.

I remember seeing an ad for HTPUG, next to one for the "Mark Eden Bust Developer," in the back of 1960s magazines. I knew it was TOP SEKRIT sex information, and I wanted a copy so bad. I was eight. 

Now that I've read a variety of these  How-to-Bag-a-Blonde-Bitch-Who's-Too-Good-For-You titles, I'm no longer titillated, but I am still reeling!

In the "Try This At Home" mailbag, I advise a listener on how to deal with busybodies who have a hidden agenda when it comes to your sex life. The impeccable Miss Manners has a few things to say about this as well!

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions and feedback about the show to susie@susiebright.com.

Danica Patrick is My Birthday Baby Superstar

Okay, guess who shares a birthday with IRL racing superstar Danica Patrick?  It’s March 25, which means she is psychic twins with Aretha Franklin, Simone Signoret, Gloria Steinem, and ME!

I haven’t had a crush in a long time, so discovering Danica Patrick, who turned pro when she was only fourteen years old,  is the adrenaline surge I craved. Can we drool for a minute together? She is so fucking cute. She will run you off the road, crying and choking on her fumes— and you will LOVE IT.

I want to be the girl with the cleavage who hands her the trophy and sobs uncontrollably.

Danica drives Toyota— and I drive a Toyota. I knew you’d be impressed.

Now what do I know about race car driving?  Not much, although I first ended up in the pit because of a movie, Heart Like a Wheel, about another champion woman race car driver, Shirley Muldowney.

Bonnie Bedelia— and this is where it gets really spooky— played the title role in the film, and she ALSO is born March 25th. Bedelia's portrayal of this gutsy, proto-feminist hellraiser, the fastest thing on wheels, who never apologized for either her speed or her sexuality, is one of my favorite performances of all time.  Don't you dare raise a daughter and not show her this movie.

The year Heart Like a Wheel came out, I put on my leathers and went with Honey Lee, my girlfriend, to the pit at the old Fremont racetrack to meet Shirley Muldowney. We were the only butch/femme couple there, and ironically, we fit right in.

Muldowney was at a table to meet fans parked next to her hot pink Formula 1 racer. I waited at the end of a long line of small children to get her autograph. Just as she was about to finish and turn away,  I cried out, "No, please stay, I'm not one of the parents— I'm your number one besotted female fan!"

Shirley turned and looked at me in my thigh-high leather boots, mini-skirt, and jean jacket, with Honey Lee smoking a Sherman a couple feet behind me.  She reached out and touched my breast pocket, which had a handmade brooch of an exotic modern dancer pinned to it— Martha-Graham-Meets-Diane-Di-Prima.

"I've never seen anything like that before," she said. —Her first words to me.

"Well, I would be honored if you would wear it," I said, tearing it off my coat.

"Let me give you one of mine," she said, and pulled one of her pins off her fuschia suit. She touched my cheek, and I'll never know quite what she was thinking behind her mirror shades. She got into a truck with a woman driver whose arm rested on the window ledge, flashing a diamond pinkie ring.

"Did you see that?" I turned to Honey Lee with my mouth hanging open and god knows what else.

"I certainly did."

The next race started, and I heard those engines for the first time. That deafening sound went straight to my clit.

Back to Ms. Patrick: The IRL is in heaven because they are sick of folks thinking that NASCAR is the only car game in town.  Danica's championship qualities are the first thing that's made people pay attention to them since Mario Andretti. Danica's a new breed, as well,  because she is the first of the female driver champions to let the media go wild with her image.

I'm including a bunch of photos of her here, for you to see the different takes on her persona. I  like the ones where you see that incredible stubborness in her eyes, and the set of her jaw. That's the look that makes me want to emulate her, and also makes me want to melt like butter at her feet.  I guess I could do both.

I also like the All-American pose she did for the IRL official sponsor shots, because I love the subversiveness of seeing women in those Wheaties-type Hero portraits. Her posture is blistering.

The cheesecake pix she did for FHM magazine are different. Of course I'm as keen as anyone to see her body— but why do they direct her to duck down her fierce chin and peer up at the camera in that doe-like pose? Why do men's titty magazines have to take every heroine and make her look like she's a wee thing who can't decide whether to pout or cry?

It's her competitors who are crying and don't know where to turn, baby! Take a picture of that! Until then, I'll just polish my pinkie ring and hope for the best.

Those Bahraini Lesbians Make Me Scream & Shout!

I frequently get letters from writers seeking publishing opportunities, but this one made my day:

Hi Susie,

I am 30, male, and Lebanese. I work at one of the leading national newspapers. I bought "Best American Erotica 2005" from the Virgin Megastore in Beirut and really enjoyed reading it.

I write short stories as a hobby and I have seen, and been in, a lot of sexy, weird and erotic situations here in Lebanon and in other Arab countries. You, and I am sure many other Westerners, would be shocked to know what happens behind closed doors in Arabia. Arabs are  intense when it comes to sex in private. There are Saudi Sheikhs with billions who suck the toes of Russian prostitutes in Dubai and get whipped on the ass— princes who have four wives and ten lovers and fuck the Fillipino maid on the side— horny Lebanese girls who live on Acid and orgies— Kuwaiti she-males— Bahraini lesbians who come to Beirut in the summer to taste teenage Lebanese mountain girls— Egyptian bellydancers who fuck corrupt politicians— women shrouded in black who are married to Islamic fanatics but fuck their Pakistani drivers. Though sex is taboo in public, in private the possibilities are unlimited.

So, I would like to know if I can contribute to your coming series as a writer and if yes, how.
I would really appreciate a reply. Thanks.

Monsieur A.

Of course I sent him my guidelines— and my regret that hypocrisy is the same the world over! I'm embarrassed he thinks that I'm one of those "Westerners" who has their head in the sand. Our reputation is so wretched.  But have to admit, I didn' t know about those Lebanese Mountain Girls, so he's got me curious...

By the way, I changed some of the details of his demographics, so don't try to unmask the dude!

Susie Does The Tennessee Waltz

I am in the middle of planning a trip to Murfreesboro, Tennessee, at the end of September, to give a couple talks at the MIddle Tennessee State University.

I fly in and out of Nashville, and I'm wondering if I should extend my trip a little bit do some things in Nashville while I'm out there. This is a first for me; I've never been to Tennessee, and I'm looking forward to it.

Often, with university engagements like this, I come and go from Campus without seeing any sights or meeting any "townies," but I want to become acquainted with Nashville a little while I'm there.

Should I go to any particular bookstores? Clubs? Cafes? Great food spots? Shall I record my very own original country hit somewhere, I'm Glad You're Sorry ( You Made Me Make You Cry)?

Is there anyone I should contact to organize an event in the city before or after Murfreesboro? Or maybe I should just make a date somewhere to meet fans.  Please email me, or comment below, if you have any ideas. I'll be there the end of September...

Thanks!

Susie "Tennessee Waltz" Bright

The Unlikely Lactivist

Many of you no doubt saw the recent story where Barbara Walters complained that her plane flight was ruined by a woman sitting next to her who insisted on breastfeeding her infant. The things you have to put up with in First Class!

The media was thrilled to see a number of breastfeeding moms come out in force to demonstrate against Walter's prejudices. As much as I admire them, since I haven't lactated in fifteen years, I was surprised to find myself used as an example of a milky pervert in a recent column called "It's Getting Tough to Keep Abreast of All the Boobs in Nursing Battle,"
from the Boston Herald, by Margery Eagan:

"You know once I interviewed Susie Bright, a famous gay writer who jumped up mid-interview in her Cambridge room, whipped off her shirt, breasts waving in the breeze, to nurse her son, topless, as if this was ho-hum. Only later did I think of clever remarks I might have made. `Susie, are you seducing me?' Or,`Susie, are you trying to intimidate me with your enormous nursing breasts?' Instead I sat there trying to be cool, taking notes so furiously I couldn't read them. Then I ran from the room. No need to see me out.

"Power bosoms do indeed make us very nervous. I can fully attest to that."

I'll tell you who makes me nervous: bitchy prudes. Margery says she doesn't think women should have to hide in smelly toilets to feed their infants, but she's not so sure they should, you know, just make themselves comfortable. 

I  submitted the following "Letter to the Editor" to the Herald:

Dear Editor:

Ms. Eagan uses me as an example of someone who had inconsiderate- and perhaps even salacious- intentions when I nursed my baby in the same room with her, during an interview she conducted with me fifteen years ago.

I'm afraid she has both the facts and my intentions dead wrong. I do not have a son. I'm not gay, merely bi. Her reporting would be a fine description if it was true, but I've published 20+ books since I met Ms. Eagan, and hundreds of newspaper and magazine columns, so fact-checking should be easy.

I met Margery during a book tour where I covered 15 cities in 30 days, where I naively thought I could travel with my six-month-old daughter. I was young, and this was my first book tour. It was grueling.

The day Eagan interviewed me in my hotel room, I'm sure I was called upon to nurse my daughter because she was starting to fuss or cry, and it was clear to me she wanted to be fed. I wouldn't have denied her food, or set off a screaming fit.  I nursed to satisfy the child, and also give Ms. Eagan  a quiet interview.  The notion that I would be in the mood to "seduce," or "intimidate" Eagan with my breasts, embarrasses and angers me.

I  can't think of one nursing mom with these kind of motives; it's ludicrous. It  may strain the the prurient mind, but lactating moms are focused on one, and one thing only.... feeding that baby before she howls.  I never yearned to be the object of anyone's attention when I nursed, or changed a diaper, or patted out a burp. I always wished I had some decent back support. I hated traveling in airplanes.  I spent all my time trying to meet the day's most demanding challenges while the baby was asleep.

When Eagan describes me "waving my breasts in the breeze," it gives the impression of a flag, of a militant conquest. Breasts have more gravity than that.  Eagan doesn't describe nursing reality. Apparently, I made the mistake of being comfortable breastfeeding in my room, in front of one woman a little older than me, who I thought was a mother herself. My mind was so focussed on the kid, that I didn't sense that Eagan was the type who would be scared to meet me in the first place— whose mind would race to the carnal corners of her fears and fantasies.

To appear as her joke example of boorish behavior, fifteen years after the fact, is no treat. The next time Margery meets a woman whose bosom incites such feverish paranoia, maybe she ought to excuse herself and go sit in the bathroom for a while.

Susie Bright

Give Me Virginity or Give Me Death

My latest episode of In Bed with Susie Bright is #205:  "Give Me Virginity or Give Me Death!"

This week, I discuss why Christian fundamentalist groups are protesting a new vaccine for a common STD that causes cervical cancer. 

When I heard about this vaccine, I was so excited that it will be something wonderful for my daughter—  but the Fundie contingent is having none of it!

"Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful," Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council told the British magazine New Scientist, "because they may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex."

As Katha Pollit so brilliantly advises in her Nation editorial: "Raise your hand if you think that what is keeping girls virgins now is the threat of getting cervical cancer when they are 60 from a disease they've probably never heard of."

Also on this show, I review and read a few passages from Porn Studies, my new favorite book for the post-modernist sex nerd.

A little history: The editor of Porn Studies, Dr. Linda Williams, along with Dr. Constance Penley (see her cool interview on slash fiction), and myself were the first professors to teach university courses on the nature of visual pornography. 

I have always treasured my discussions with them, and many of those subjects are featured in this academic and scholarly look at what erotic cinema has wrought!  I am emphasizing the "scholarly" part, because this is not casual reading, and some of the prose is not going to win any prizes... but I just love this information, so it's sort of like being biologist who flips for the latest frog book.

One passage I read is by Nguyen Tan Hoang, who examines the presentation of Asian ethnicity in "The Resurrection of Brandon Lee: The Making of a Gay Asian American Porn Star."  Another excerpt is from a favorite writer of mine, Eric Shaefer, who really does write beautifully about the cinematic history of pornographic and exploitation films. 

Finally, in my "Try This At Home" mailbag, a listener posts his amateur nude photos on the Internet, and loves it. Don't forget, you can always send your confidential questions and feedback about the show to susie@susiebright.com. I read every one of them and delight in answering them!