Butterball Baby

Why do we only eat stuffing once a year? Everyone says it's their favorite part of Thanksgiving, and yet we starve ourselves.

It's bread pudding, and that gives you a clue right there. I love bread. I love pudding. Pour on the butter and let's have a party.

I make two stuffings, one traditional and one for the vegetarians, although that's a bit of a joke because the carnivores eat all the veggie dressing too.

I used to buy loaves of bread and dry them out before cutting them into cubes by hand, but I decided that is not where the labor-intensive hours count. Instead, I support buying unseasoned bread crumbs ahead of time. The key is UNseasoned. Seasoning is an area where you can make your homemade stuffing shine.

Buy fresh herbs. Actually, if you live near me, come over and get some for free, because I have enough parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme to sink a dingy off of  Plymouth Rock.

Just cooking up  fresh herbs in butter and garlic is enough to set the whole day right. Saute them with your onion, your celery, and if you want my other secret, diced fennel bulb. YUM. You can even skip the celery entirely if you want.

My famous star of the stuffing comes next:  I chop up oysters and saute them... more butter, please!  I love the taste of shellfish in poultry dressing. Of course you have the sizzling ground sausage mixed in there as  as well... pork, shellfish, and turkey flavors cannot be beat!  Sometimes I add baby shrimp, too.

I'm big on nutmeats. Pecans. I have a Cajun feel for stuffing. If I could come up with 'gator meat to throw in, I bet it would be heaven.  Brazil nuts, or pine nuts work alright too, but remember this is NOT a candy bar. Peanuts and almonds are not your friend in the stuffing department.

I like raisins. I like capers. I like to throw everything in but the kitchen sink as long as I think it will harmonize.

I always buy a separate package of giblets and livers to cook, just for the stuffing. You can't get enough of that stoned turkey flavor.

I learned a great lesson from a Cauldron cooking class I took at Mariquita Farm:  the most flavorful part of any bird comes from the gelatinous body parts. That's why chicken feet are the quintessential flavor orgasm of any hen. More than anything you can do to enhance your chicken stock, it's the feet that make it POP.

During class, we cooked in an enormous witch-size iron cauldron, so I cleaned about 100 chicken feet. Nasty things they are, especially for a sheltered city girl like me!  They made me think, "so this is what dinosaur toes must have looked like."

But the flavor of the broth was off the hook. I don't blame you if you use canned broth, but if you're determined to make homemade stock, get some of those feet from the butcher. Just a handful will make you a shaman in the kitchen.

What do you like in your stuffing? Are you a purist, or surrealist when it comes to additions?

I hope you are taking a slow weekend with family and friends, whether you're munching on bird or Sushi or Cadbury bars! I'm very thankful for all your support and good words this year, and I look forward to more of the same!

Some mad satire for you:

"Pardoned Turkey" to be He Held at Guantanamo

Scenes from a Bush Thanksgiving

Comments

[Jackson West]

My friend's mom used to cook a couple of turkey dinners each year. When you think about it, it's actually pretty economical. Turkeys are super-cheap by the pound, you can make kick-ass stock from the carcass and trimmings that you can freeze for later, you end up with lunch meat for two weeks, and you get to enjoy real pan gravy and giblet stuffing more than just once a year! What's not to like?

The first time I got to cook the bird for my family, I'd stopped at the Pike Place Market when transferring busses from the airport, and bought my first (and, so far, only) black truffle. About the size of a plum, it cost $12. I grated it into a simple roux gravy made from the drippings. Oh. My. God. Compliments all around, even from my grandma.

Happy Indigenous People's Day!

[misterniceguy1960]

I remember the liberating moment when I realized that although a dish with meat in it was a deal-breaker for vegetarians, it didn't do meat-lovers a lick of harm to eat a dish, or even a complete meal, without animal in it.

[C.S.Lewiston]

I once replaced half the cheese in a cheesecake recipe with tofu (the firmish "silken" kind in the plastic trays, not the custardy, watery kind in those infernal brick-packs). My brother, serious connoiseur of desserts and one heck of a dessert chef himself, could not tell the difference.

[Hissy Cat]

Mmm, that sounds great. My stuffing is much humbler: just store-bought cornbread cubes, broth, fresh chopped onion and celery and LOTS of melted butter. Mmmm. . .still pretty good, though.

[Steve]

The ingredient I discovered once in stuffing, and found surprisingly scrumptious? PRUNES.

YUM.

[Susie Bright]

I second the prunes. Get this: my cooking guru, Sally Binford, would roast a goose every Xmas. She had us make a stuffing which consisted of slicing open prunes and filling them with foiegras and nutmeat. Let me die now!

[Bo Babbyo]

Here's a swell stuffing/dressing recipe. Very easy, and it sounds very impressive:

OYSTER STUFFING

6 8 OZ CANS OF STEWED OYSTERS
2 SLEEVES OF SALTINES
1 STICK OF BUTTER
1 CUP MILK
2 TBS WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE

Smush up the saltines, but not too fine.
Add the oysters WITH JUICE! Very important.
Melt butter, add and mix into crackers and oysters.
Continue stirring and add milk and worcestershire sauce.

Bake at 325 degrees until brown on top -- about 1 hour.

People go insane over this dish. If they like oysters.