In Bed with Susie Bright #228: Stripper Girls Seek The Lost Flock
In this edition:
I'm always on the lookout for sex worker websites that reach for a higher plane. Now I've found a doozy. JC's Girls are a trio of hotties-turned-missionaries who've made it their campaign to recruit unhappy lap dancers.
The three-babe ministry are posed so fetchingly in their Come-Hither-And-Read-My-Bible poses. I looked in vain at every photo on their site, hoping that I'd find an archive of pictures from their "sinner" days. My god, wait 'til you see their pastor. He looks like the type of guy who "stars" as Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar. And he has compassion for the ungodly plight of homosexuals... what a hunk!
(By the way, do you all know that porn mogul Paul Thomas played John the Baptist in the film version of JC Superstar? Or that he's the nephew of Sara Lee, the pastry magnate?)
JC's Girls offers an intriguing explanation of why their ministry looks so porn-star— but really isn't. They explain that the women they are trying to reach, wouldn't take them seriously if they looked dowdy. They explain that their business puts a premium on a certain kind of feminine beauty, and that their sisters would feel lost without that identity.
One of the girls explains that she was terrified to become a Christian, because she felt like she would have to give up her "looks," and then she would have nothing.
I believe her. Of course, I would think, as long as you're on the healing path, you would ultimately get to a place where you didn't have to use self-tanner, bleach, putty, and polish to be accepted into the Kingdom of Christ. But I couldn't find the number for the feminist support parish.
Another thing they promote is hot monogamy. Born Again Hot Flash: You don't have to give up great sex to be married. They're part of that Christian marriage manual ethic where you get to whoop it up with intercourse and oral sex— just no anal and no fantasizing. Or masturbation.
But fucking and sucking can indeed keep you quite busy, so we can't give them short shrift. The intriguing part to me is that they acknowledge, in their subtle way, that they care about having good sex, that their background as sexual people can't be denied, and so therefore they are thrilled to have a "faith" where they get to keep that aspect of themselves alive.
Their site design is high tech. Nothing amateur here. Each woman's face, skin, and hair are made up just like a showgirl's. They have gorgeous figures, which they show off by wearing close-fitting t-shirts and jeans. In other words, no ease in the cloth, but covered up. Their cleavage is the kind of cleavage you used to see in Children's Bible Stories.
Meanwhile, back at Satan's Ranch, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I critique two personal ads placed by a couple interested in swinging. They asked me to help them write the perfect ad. I love playing personals matchmaker, so I held nothing back!
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