When Butter Won't Melt In Your Mouth

Katherine Gates has a way of talking me into anything. —Even neo-cannibalism.

In her new story, "Eat Me," Gates explores the world of "gourmet cannibals"— foodies who like to slather their lovers with honey, tie them up with kitchen twine, and stuff an apple in their mouth. Baste me and turn me over, darling! Actually, I think I'd like to be a pudding for Boxing Day.

Gate's subjects represent the ultimate slow-food orgasm, since the entire spectacle is the preparation, without digestion.

The cannibal crowd go to great lengths to explain that they are NOT Jeffrey Dahmer, and that this is all in good fun and delectable taste. But I think the photos speak for themselves. —So funny and titillating at the same time. If the subscribers to Cooks Illustrated saw this, I don't think there'd be any turning back.

Katherine Gates is a sexual anthropologist, whose book Deviant Desires transformed my idea of "fetish." Or, as Katherine would say, the "ongoing metamorphosis of how we understand the human sexual imagination."  In her book, I found myself absorbed in her interviews with pony girls and balloon-blowing enthusiasts, furverts and clown orgies, all the while thinking, "I could do that, I would do that!"  She talks to so many REAL people, (as many women as men), that it breaks through all the stultifying porn clichés about what is normal or extreme. There's a little bit of a "plushie" in everyone, don't you think?

I once was shot by Vanity Fair magazine as the centerpiece of a large oyster and pearl tray. I was surrounded by oysters, seaweed, and jewels. I didn't like the photographers, who treated me like a clam shell, but the props were really arousing. It was like taking that "peel me a grape" meme one step further.

Edible sex can definitely go wrong, of course. When I was young and naive, I tried some of those "chocolate-flavored" erotic oils... BLECH! It was like "Deep Inside Robitussin."

Here's decent alternative for the fledgling "cannibal": Pour on the Hershey's syrup and forget all the phony stuff. Better yet, melt some real Ghirardelli's. Real food is soooo much better than anything you can find in those "flavored lube" disasters. Coconut oil, almond oil, apricot...yum. And there's nothing like a real whipped cream party. I guess I'm just more of the candy thermometer type.

Photo from Mukis Kitchen

Comments

[C.S. Lewiston]

There's this book "Rock and Roll Cuisine" from about 20 years ago, in which rock stars publish their favorite recipes. So far I've made Gary Glitter's superb spaghetti sauce and Moon Unit Zappa's "Rotten Banana Cake". One of the members of Kiss (I forget which one), along with a more conventional recipe, submitted one in which you and a good friend get naked, fill a bathtub with water and several quarts of extra-virgin olive oil. After playing around in the tub for a while (and presumably without toweling off), you head for the bed, which has been covered with an old but intact sheet, then you "get in, get going".

[Mister Nice Guy]

Drawing or writing on your lover's body with a chocolate truffle is another good recipe.

[Rachel Kramer Bussel]

I had wanted to write about my friend's cannibalism/sploshing session - you MUST check out this photo. It's wild!

http://www.mistresscherry.com/blog/archives/000358.html

[John Mason]

That cammibalism scenario is the most stupid and degrading thing I saw. I have never found the suffering of another person arousing. Please remove me from this serivce, if this is what turns you on.

[susie Bright]

John,

You can remove yourself from my mailing list anytime by clicking the "remove" link at the bottom of the email notices that you get from me, if that's the "service" you're referring to. I'm afraid it's something that you have to do yourself— it's a security protection, so that no one else hacks your account.

I don't find the Muki's Kitchen piece a personal masturbatory turn-on, no, if you are asking me that question seriously. I think it's theatrical and amusing and it makes me smile.... That model is adorable. It also makes me think of the different ways I have incorporated food into sex, from whipped cream on out!

The actors involved made it quite clear how well-intentioned and thoughtful they are.... see their site. A lot of people who enjoy gourmet food also have a taste for sensual, romantic, sex, and so these folks have hit that mark.

I'm certain that no one "suffered" posing for these shots. Did you read their site? These people are professional photographers working with their models with every consideration, each step of the way. They would feel hurt and misunderstood by your judgement of them. I think you may have jumped to conclusions.

As for "stupid," that is certainly in the eye of the beholder. Frankly, I think you HAVE to be a fierce intellectual to design these kind of scenarios!

[Sandrino]

Oh my god! Your pretty little virgin eyes, you are so offended. Get real! if you find this stuff offensive, you really need to get out more. There is really perverse and hurtful stuff out there and it is many degress of magnitude worse than anything you have seen here.