I'm singing the praises of librarians everywhere after learning of this startling incident at a library in Bethesda, Maryland. They're the sex-positive vanguard of free speech, and they never get the kudos!
Two "Homeland Security" anti-terrorism cops walked into the main reading room at the Little Falls branch library, and shouted that everyone working on the public computers was not allowed to look at "porn."
In Bed 241: Porn Persuasion
I guess they didn't get the kindergarten memo about using a "quiet voice" in the library. Neither did they reveiw a copy of their job description, either, in which they would find out "obscenity enforcement" is not part of the gig. Perhaps the saddest part is that they don't seem acquainted with Momma's favorite reference title, the First Amendment!
Meanwhile, back at the library, the officers demanded certain library patrons step outside with them immediately, as if they were about to make an arrest.
But instead— in an unnamed act of heroism that is typical of librarian valor— one of the staffers called their bosses upstairs, and then she took these two H.S. hoodlums outside to read their beads.
The library patrons, presumeably, went back to their wild porn site surfing that is so typical of public reading rooms these days.... COUGH!
Public libraries figured out long ago how to deal with internet mischief. For one, there's a time limit on how long you can be online. You're in the middle of the room, and there is NO WAY you are going to be masturbating to your favorite Suicide Girl in this fishbowl. You have very little privacy at all. My experience on library computers is that there are always a dozen little boys milling around who want to kick me off so they can get on to play games... not very relaxing.
Some people are looking up info that might be upsetting for any number of reasons... like war casualities, for example. But no one from Homeland Security makes a stink about that.
The second half of my show concerns the old debate about how porn-loving partners can win their dubious lovers over to their cause.
The thing I hate about this subject is that it's always framed as: Male Porn Dog vs. Tearful, Angry Jealous Girlfriend Who Will Never Understand.
Why is it, that NEVER ONCE do we hear a story about a woman who likes to mastubate, but her boyfriend has a meltdown because he caught her with a copy of Best American Erotica, or watching Tristan Taormino's House of Ass?
But we don't hear that story... instead we are media-peppered with bizarro boyfriends who are buried under 500 hardcore videos and can't dig themselves out. Yeah, right, I've seen them all on Oprah, and the herd is NOT THAT BIG.
There are so many women who are afraid of masturbation, whereas the number of OCD men with porn compusions pales by comparison. This is a gender bias issue, a women's liberation issue, and I'll be happy to see the day that perspective rules the reality check.
Of course there are nice reassuring things you can say if your lover is jealous of your solo erotic life. You basically SHOW them how much you really, really like them!
But I think a more sound place to combat this insecurity is to tap into the jealous person's own fantasy well. What do THEY fantasize about? What do they like to masturbate to in their mind? If they are orgasmic, they're going to admit there's something there, and it's precious to them.
If they are NOT having orgasms easily or regularly; there you have your culprit. How can they understand what a solo sex life is like if they don't have one— and are afraid of it?
Finally, in the last part of my show,my mailbag, a man writes in who loves "cuddle sex" and wonders if it's legit. Squeeze me, and let's find out!
Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, birthday cards, and feedback about the show to firstname.lastname@example.org. (Episode 241, March 17, 2006).