But in Spotsylvania, Virginia, things have gotten so out of hand the sheriff had to call a press conference to announce that from now on, public funds will not be spent willy-nilly on investigative blow jobs.
The cops on this detail visited the same women numerous times to "secure their conviction." One time the officer left a $350 tip. Such a gesture before an arrest!
In Bed with Susie Bright #242: Sex on the Job
After my vice squad thrashing, I decided to catch up on my letters to the show for this episode, and answer more than my usual fistful.
The first mail I read is from a woman listener whose sex life is drying up just three months into a new affair. I'm glad she wrote me in these crucial first 90 days!
If you are getting DANGER! WILL ROBINSON! NO ONE IS FUCKING! messages early on in a relationship, the worst thing you can do is "hope it will just get better on its own."
It's not just flu bug or passing moment of ennui. The couple is right in the thick of establishing their template.
I'm radical on this topic, probably extreme. I can think back to the first date, the first bedding, of any long-term relationship I've had, and in hindsight, see that all the clues for our future were there, in the first 24 hours.
My second and third letters came from a young woman who wonders if she really is as bisexual as she "feels" and why are all of her friends acting grossed out by anal sex.
I found from her letter that I couldn't tell how much of her sexual exploration was to live up to her boyfriend's fantasies, or how much was driving her from within.
And it's tricky, isn't it? We're all familiar with the coercive story of an older guy pressing a younger woman into doing something kinky she doesn't actually dig. Pictures of Jane Fonda and Roger Vadim are prancing in my head!
But in some cases, when you're the "young" one, you are so happy that someone else is taking the lead, giving you confidence to take an initiative, inspiring you. And although coercion vs. inspiration seem like an easy I.D. to me now, I was a lot more fuzzy in my youth. One of the few ways I could really test my gut was to reflect on my own masturbation fantasies, which are more truthful than what I might have "said" in public.
As for the dopes who think anal sex is "icky," I tried to give our adventurous heroine a list of punchy retorts. Someone is always going to say a certain kind of sex grosses them out, and it's sort of like a schoolchild spitting out a gourmet treat. You're just going to have to allow for the development of their palate!
Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, and feedback about the show to email@example.com. (Episode 242, March 24, 2006) Lots of fun pulp magazine covers like the one above at Pulpworld.