I'm ready for the tshirt: "I Took Plan B And Never Got Invited to the Teen Sex Cult."
The FDA commissioners are one bizarre crew. First, we had Dr. Hager, the Bush appointee who made sanctimonious church speeches by day and then brutally sodomized his sobbing wife at night, his perv camera rolling. He left a check on her dresser.
Then there's deputy commissioner of operations, Janet Woodcock. You read that right.
Her objection to emergency contraception? "We can't anticipate, or prevent, extreme promiscuous behaviors— such as the medication taking on an 'urban legend' status that would lead adolescents to form sex-based cults centered around the use of Plan B."
I've used Plan B when I had a scare— and so have some of my friends— and none of us have been invited to so much as a single orgy.
Finally— or at last count— we have recent FDA Commissioner Lester Crawford, who has resigned, in the wake of this lawsuit, because he is in so much HOT water it's hard to know which tap to shut off first.
Trained as a veternarian (would you trust your dog to this man?) Dr. Crawford apparently never met a bribe he didn't like. He rushed to approved Vioxx, the dangerous athritis drug, despite being shown dire warnings from researchers.
He also couldn't wait to approve another company's silicone breast implants, regardless of the shocking warnings on their product as well.
For George Bush's reelection campaign, he was thrilled to kickstart a publicity campaign about how he had "secret" information— that no one else had but him— that Al Queda was trying to poison the nation's imported prescription drug supply!
But when it came to Plan B, Crawford insisted on caution and delay at every turn. He took personal command of every decision affecting the pills' future.
Obviously, the makers of emergency contraception don't understand that the way to Crawford's heart is through large, large, satchels of cash.
We haven't come to the end of Crawford's conflicts of interest. But I am betting at the end of the indictment, it will be clear that Crawford does not care one way or another about abortion, "the culture of life," or any other such nonsense: he only cares about the culture of his bank account, defiantly in the black.
In Bed with Susie Bright 250: Lions and Tigers and Teen Sex Cults - Oh My!
Also in my show this week, I chose a winner for The House of Ass free DVD contest. The prizewinner captured my fancy when he wrote to me:
Since I'm blind, the visual aspects of porn go "Pheeeeeew," right by. House of Ass sounds like you can really get to know the people involved. That makes it easier for me to get turned on when they fuck. Long "piston pumpin' action" sequences can get boring otherwise--especially when the sex sounds are artificial or covered up by bad bad music. Speaking of which, what I've heard of the music on this DVD actually sounds like real music!
Thanks for your heart-felt review. My guide dog, Pilaf, sends tail wags.
Yes, Rob, HOA does have good music, if you like a nice hard rock romp. I hope you enjoy every gabby minute!
Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions and feedback about my In Bed show to email@example.com. (Episode 250, May 19, 2006)