According to the London Telegraph, you sign up for in vitro fertilization (IVF) at the doctor's office because you simply do not have time for the labors of actual intercourse.
Anyone got an egg timer?
In Bed with Susie Bright 259: Kicking Up the Kink
My favorite line is from the female fertility specialist: "I told one of my patients who's going through IVF that another patient had just conceived naturally. She said, 'What?— She's having sex? Bloody Luddite!'"
"People want everything now," continues the IVF staffer. "If they can't have a baby now, they want IVF. They think it's no different from putting your name down for a handbag.
"Some people are horrified by the idea that they have to have sex two to three times a week. About 10% of people I see don't have time to have sex. It's usually when you have two professionals who are based in the city and are very busy."
Of course the story is designed to shock the average missionary-position-loving reader, but I had a good chuckle, as well as cause for more contemplative speculation.
At first I thought: "If they think they don't have time to make love, just wait 'till they find out what a time drain is in involved in actual mothering.
The type of person who can't find three minutes for a quickie hardly seems like the sort of person who's ready for parent-style sacrifice and humility.
I also worried about their antipathy toward sex in their relationship... putting the baby-making part aside. Is their marriage nothing more than a double-income bounty machine? How can they stand to spend the rest of their lives with someone they don't want to wrap their arms around?
But perhaps I am falling for the story's eager provocation.
The other side of the coin is that I would have LOVED to be able to take my eggs from my teenage years, when they were at their liveliest, and tuck them away in a darling little box in my freezer to take out when I wanted to use them. I would thrill to have that level of reproductive control!
What do you think of this story? Do you think it's a lot of hysteria over nothing, a pointless "what are the rich people doing today" gossip item? Or, does it hint at something more significant in our reproductive and relationship futures?
I have another item in my podcast this week that intrigued me. A young woman wrote me to say that she loves kinky sex, fantasies, and porn, but her boyfriend has always put the kibosh on her invitations to spice things up.
Then one day, she came home to find Mr. Prude furtively surfing Internet porn. She's been fuming ever since... one can hardly blame her. Feel free to listen and add to my counsel!
Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show and requests for Susie's Girly Cards (one month of my podcast for free!) to firstname.lastname@example.org. (Episode 259, August 18, 2006)