Well, this project really has been the best thing to come out an unmitigated disaster. I made so many new exceptional friends today, who joined the Ted Haggard Betting Pool.
Birthdays seem to be a popular choice for placing five dollars down, along with anytime in June— everyone thinks Ted's going to be a June bride!
I love it when Dan Savage lances the Ted-boil, but even before he drew his sword, his brother Bill had already written me with his marker. I love families who take risks together.
The relentless scourgers at TowelRoad published our darling Cowboy portrait with their alert. TowelRoad is going to be one of those places who hears it first when Haggard so much as scratches his ass.
A fine impeachment site, 2PoliticalJunkies, contemplated the geographic possibilities of highway rest stops Ted might frequent.
Largehearted Boy is just as generous as his handle, and he's scheming to come up with our very own bet-on-Ted jingle... but it might be hard to beat Buddy Holly:
I wanna tell you how it's gonna be
You're gonna give your love to me
I'm gonna love you all night and day
Love is love and not fade away
Your love for me has got to be real
You gotta notice just how I feel
Love is real and not fade away
Well love is real and not fade away
(I don't mean to be blasphemous, but the all-time, lay-down-and-die version of this song is onTrout Fishing in America's "Truth is Stranger than Fishin'" album).
This afternoon I talked to folks at LYRIC, and they are psyched about our little proposition! If you ever despair about the Big Snore of mainstream gay politics, go VISIT THEM. Talk about making a difference.
Also, thanks to Miss Sheila, I found out about youth groups in Colorado, who I want to tell you about:
Colorado Springs: Inside Out
These people are such heroes. The last time I spoke at Colorado Springs university I had to be SNUCK IN, because they were (rightfully) afraid there would be a KKK-like reaction on the part of anti-gay zealots on campus.
Denver: Rainbow Alley
Rainbow Alley serves a lot of kids who come up on the bus from Castle Rock and the Springs, even just for the night to be around other people who can help a body stay sane, or share a laugh with.
Of course, there were the cranks. Someone asked if the game was rigged. Yeah, I'm sitting here fanning myself with the handful of $5 bills I'm planning to abscond with to Fiji. —After I seduce Ted on St. Paddy's Day with my strap-on. Anyway!
Someone else demanded to know what I'll do if Ted dies in a dramatic fashion before the jig is up. Well, that would be tragic. If it comes to that, if Ted gets run over by jealous lover, then the whole thing is off. I'll ask everyone who participated to consider donating to a gay youth group in his memory.
So how are we doing? Well, as of my last email check, we had about 40 people with $260 in markers.
Interestingly, I've had 6,000 hits in ten hours on BetOnTed today. Just imagine if six thousand people "bet" or donated half a sawbuck... that would be $30,000.00.
If you were thinking that the big philanthropists were going to empty their pockets, I'm sorry, but they rarely make a visitation! It's up to the rest of us. A group of wonderful people could make an awfully big difference with the cost of a couple cups of coffee. Am I making you cry yet?
Don't cry, join the Very Special People's Club and send me your date with Ted's Destiny!: Link.
What dates did I bet on, myself? I decided to spread it all around. I picked the 25th of every month of the year. March 25 is my birthday; that got me started. I wanted to be crafty and figure out what days are best for media exposés, but I pooped out. Laurie is laughing because this is the first time I've ever made accounting entries in an Excel document. Yes, that's our little black book! If I win, I'm going to give it all to LYRIC— but I do want to be taken out for an enormous slice of chocolate cake.
I need to go eat something.