David Vitter Watches The Detectives

"Ma! Ma! Where's my Pa?"
"Wearing Huggies, ha ha ha!"

 - one juste mot among many at Wonkette

Another Gay-bashing, Klan-loving, Pulpit-Slurping, Republican has disgraced himself.

—No, make that two.

Let's start with the Christian Coalition's favorite son, Louisiana senator David Vitter.

There's not enough Boudreaux Buttpaste in the world that can wipe-clean a career like Vitter's— now better known as The Guy Who Frequents Prostitutes and Asks To Wear a Diaper.

Apparently the whores of New Orleans call him "Vitter the Shitter." And don't even ask about his love child— who, one can only hope, is kept well-stocked with Pampers.

I hate the way a hypocrite like this can drag the good name of kinky sex through the mud.

Vitter refuses to resign, of course. He and his wife took the neo-Antoinette position at their recent press conference: "Let them eat shit."

David said God, and His Wife Wendy, were willing to move on— and so should everyone else. After all, he still has plenty of gay marriages to wreck, and black voters to disenfranchise! Let the man get on with his work!

But his better half upstaged him. Wendy showed up for the cameras in a low-cut leopard print dress and giant hoop earrings, to say she's forgiven Davy for everything and it was time for the press to leave their family alone.

She needs more than sartorial assistance:
 

In 2000, Vitter was included in a Newhouse News Service story about the strain of congressional careers on families.

His wife, Wendy, was asked by the Newhouse reporter: If her husband were as unfaithful as Livingston or former President Bill Clinton, would she be as forgiving as Hillary Rodham Clinton?

"I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary," Wendy Vitter told Newhouse News. "If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."

"I think fear is a very good motivating factor in a marriage," she added. "Don't put fear down.

I'm scared.

Watch the campaign videos of Vitter's last election, where his wife asked him to change their baby's nappie.

Read Jon Swift's satire on how Gay Marriage Ruined Vitter's Life.

Follow the Diaper investigation, load by load.

Or maybe you've been turned into a pillar of salt and find yourself unable to move.

Don't worry, there's another distraction. Vitter is momentarily overshadowed by Congressman Bob Allen of Florida. Allen is such a pest at the men's public toilets that that it was only after the THIRD time (in an hour) that he waltzed in to make a play, that an undercover cop finally busted him for solicitation.

And gee, Bob was offering men $20 to go down on them. Jeff Gannon must be wrending his garments:

...The 48 year old Republican Representative was arrested today on second degree misdemeanor charges for solicitation for prostitution. And the twist is that he's a married man, and was asking an undercover cop in a men's room if he could pay him to give him a blowjob. It's so GOP!

Allen was out for a little afternoon delight and got nabbed at noon in Titusville, Florida. "Officers say they noticed Allen acting suspicious as he went in and out of the men's restroom 3 times. Minutes later, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20."

He was first elected in 2000 and lists "water sports" as a hobby on his official state website.

The Christian Coalition loves loved Rep. Allen. Like Vitter (and Foley) and the rest of the Republican hypocrites, he was strong on the family values bullshit. In the last session of the Florida legislature, the Christian Coalition commends him for supporting their (extremist, hateful) positions 92% of the time. The Rainbow Democratic club also rates all the elected officials in the area. Allen? "Wicked Witch: Worst of the Worst."

   - Howie Klein

 

The headlines and photos say it all. I don't know how The Daily Show could improve it. But I do have a couple of editorial comments:

1. Vitter's defiance, to refuse resignation, is the default Bush strategy, the corporate-politics vamp. You refuse to take responsibility for anything, and deny the obvious. If they can't force the scepter out of your hand, you hold on for dear life, and keep cashing the checks. You simply write your own reality.

2. A few sincere conservatives are calling for Vitter's scalp. But not most of his base. If you read the Times Picayune comments and stories, you'll see the general sentiment— most people haven't budged from their original position, be it Democrat, Republican, or Indifferent.

The one thing that could change Vitter's standing with his supporters, sad to say, is if evidence appears that Vitter is a "race-traitor."

I wish I could laugh at such a quaint expression, but it's very much alive in this man's community. If Vitter is found to have had so much as a chaste vanilla kiss with a black woman over 21, he will be crucified by the segregationist, white supremacist freaks who put him into office.

This fear of "the unpardonable sin" may be why Larry Flynt still has a swarm of detectives interviewing the New Orleans sex trade to unearth the worst. Flynt's not looking for more diapers— Louisiana good ole' boys don't care if Vitter walked around with a pacifier in his mouth— as long as his momma was white.

Perhaps the most Gothic twist on American racism is that it has sat out its "politically incorrect" phase by hiding its language under homophobia and sex-bashing, which is still (marginally) more palatable.

"Code-switching" is exactly what Jerry Falwell did in his "make-over," along with all the other publicity-minded, "whites-only" conservative figures of the South.

In 1981, as he lay dying, Lee Atwater (Karl Rove's mentor) confessed the GOP's "Southern Strategy" to win elections. Note the use of the second person narative:

...You start out in 1954 by saying, "Nigger, nigger, nigger."

[But] by 1968 you can't say 'nigger'—that hurts you. Backfires. So you say stuff like "forced busing," "states' rights," and all that stuff.

You're getting so abstract now [that] you're talking about cutting taxes, and all these things you're talking about are totally economic things... and a byproduct of them is [that] blacks get hurt worse than whites.

If I could raise Atwater from the dead, I bet he'd agree with me that when the GOP realized that "abstraction" didn't raise the passion/votes they needed, they turned to abortion-screaming and gay-bashing.

Not because of sentiment or faith! — No, the South had a traditional tolerance for queers and hushed-up pregnancies— read your Tennessee Williams. But this new kind of sex-fiend pandering is a device to proclaim, "nigger nigger nigger" without mentioning the forbidden words.

Every time a politician says, "Stop gays!" on his campaign literature, he's pressing euphemisms to make his racial position clear— and no one needs a cheat sheet.

 

Comments

[Sandrino]

So what happened to Vitter's wife? How come her diaper loving hubbie still has his cojones? Now is her chance to show the world and Hillary how it's done. Well, we are waiting…

Is that leopard print, fuck me dress the best she can do? I guess she showed him!

Then perhaps, maybe that dress and Vitter's wife will make the news again soon. We can only hope!

Repugs are such hypocrites! We are supposed to move on. Where were they when President Clinton was being impeached? Why couldn't we move on then? Can you say "double standard?" How about "full of shit?"

[Rowan]

This part is my favorite: "Jeanette Maier, 'The Canal Madam', defended Senator Vitter saying he 'was not a freak. He was not into anything unusual or kinky or weird'... "

I'm pro-kink--- rubber clothes, Desitin on your tushy. Whatever. I'm just wondering what Jeanette Maier considers "unusual or kinky" because diaper play is WAY freaky in my book.

[C.S. Lewiston]

I think that Mr. Vitter's diaper play might be a metaphor for the core of the theocon's political philosophy. It's not just our sexual lives they're attacking with all four claws, it's the very concept of adulthood itself. Think about it, who's easier to rule, adults who make their own decisions based on rational consideration of the facts, or children who are constantly waiting for daddy and/or mommy to wipe their bottoms and change their diapers?

Attention Tammy Faye - Wendy Vitter is having a fashion emergency and needs your help, stat!

$20.00? You pay WAY more than that at a typical brothel, be it an illegal one or a legal one like they have in Europe or Nevada. Did Mr. Allen have any idea of how insulting it must be to offer someone that little? Was that a metaphor for what he thinks of his constituents? And he must have known that his habit of picking up tricks in public johns could sooner or later blow up in his face. This kind of thing goes far beyond mere hypocrisy. Self-hate or denial projected onto an electorate via bad laws is far more dangerous to us than a pitiful bathroom encounter.

[Mike]

Ah I just LOVE it when these self righteous, bible thumping, anti-sex Republican hypocrites get caught with their pants down and their dicks some place they shouldn't be! Good riddance Mr. Vitter!

[Frank Richards]

Where do i start...Where do they stop... Hey but these crazies do create their own reality.
Who was that neo-con wag who said "we
create our own reality, you guys
[meaning everyone not connected
to the neo-con slime machine]
just have to shut up , stand aside
and watch". I'm only slightly paraphrasing. Apparently they really believe that shit... As for the racism, lest we forget,it was the white folk of Louisiana who gave David Duke
the majority of their votes in
the 1990 race for governor... Only the
black vote kept this Klanner out
of office... These pols and the people who support them just can't keep their racism under
wraps... It keeps showing up in the strangest places and the oddest ways... Just pamper (pun
intended) these big babies and bring on the next war to fight off the menacing dark hordes
and all will be right with their world... That is if they don't nuke us back into the stone age
to preserve their warped plantation view of reality.
Wouldn't it be nice if Vitter et. al could drop all the racist, anti gay, anti sex fear
mongering and come the hell out
of the closet so they could honestly confront their guilt- tripped out lives and let the rest of us get on with creating a world we could be reasonably happy in... maybe someday

[Minor Heretic]

There are over a hundred clinical and epidemiological studies that show that hyper-religious social conservatism is a risk factor in adultery, divorce, and sexual crime. The more out-there the religious group, the higher the risk. Read more: http://www.minor-heresies.com/?p=65

[K]

I have a friend that in his younger years, sold vaccuums for a while. He said that when he went into a house to demonstrate a unit..and he saw crosses and christian paraphenalia all around the house, he would endeavor to demonstrate the vaccuum all over the house. The point was...to make it to the master bedroom....and vaccuum there. He would attempt to 'accidentally' open the door to the bedroom closet during the demonstration. Oops!! Invariably....it was full of sex toys and/or pornography.