Today, on my In Bed podcast, Higher Sex Education weighs in on the question of the man who won't (easily) give it up. I share— and debate ten tips for hurrying up a slow cum-er, as advised from the highly articulate blog site, Confessions of a College Girl.
CCG is writing this story as an extension of her professional interest— she can't spend all day with a customer who's holding back. But I think every woman listens to these tips with uncommon interest because it touches on a competitive spirit that isn't always the most feminine thing to admit— it's a rush to feel like you can "get someone off" with a single look, a touch, a "technique" that knocks the fiercest control freak off their feet before they knew what hit them.
I suppose the "nice" way of saying this is that it is arousing, to both men and women, to see their lover orgasm as a result of their ministrations. Of course.
But there's also a prowess issue. Men talk about it frankly, but women— not so much. After all, if you're a woman who boasts of your ability to get any man's rocks off with uncommon flair, you'll be branded: a slut! Which is exactly why College Call Girl doesn't have to give a shit about "protecting her reputation." Her reputation as a writer is certainly held in my high esteem!
One liberating thing about the lesbian world, is that the "virtue-worrying" element drops completely out. It's very relaxing to be a fallen woman, whether by dent of one's queerness, kink, or commercial enterprise.
But back to the men: I have a vibe— nothing I can prove, just anecdotal evidence— that even though "premature ejaculators" (god, I hate that term) get a lot of press and advice, there are just as many men who are at the other end of the spectrum. This kind of man will control, delay, and push back their orgasm so that it becomes difficult for anyone to bring them off other than themselves— with their own hands, fantasies, and timing. In that sense, they share something with women who also can't just "give it up" to her ardent lover.
What do you think? Are you "easy," putty in your lover's hands— or will no one ever catch you in your hidey hole? Or is it more of a give and take scenario?
Back to my show... lastly, in my Try This at Home mailbag, a listener asks if it's possible for a tigress to change her kinky spots. She's been poly, and submissive, since she started having sex, but now she's fallen head over heels for an innocent vanilla young lad.
Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to email@example.com. (Episode 317, November 9, 2007)