I'm a Finalist in Something I Don't Understand

I'm flattered. I'm stunned. I'm... confused.

My blog is a finalist in the "Best LGBT Blog" category at the fancy-pantsy 2007 WebBlog Awards.

Vote for Susie Bright's Journal and feel the rose petals swirl at your feet!

I'm excited like a kid in a school play to get noticed at all. I want to win, and sob about "Whirled Peas" just like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality.

But the category selection took me by surprise. LGBT? Really? I'm such a fucking hasbian. Of course I'm bisexual, but so is most of the blogosphere. On the other hand, if I'd been nominated in the "Best Heterosexual" category, I would've filed a protest.

There's the kicker. There is no "Heterosexual" category; that would sound absurd.

I looked at the other nominees in the LGBT section, and they all seem to be politically-minded writers who never fail to point out sexual hypocrisy when then see it. They're activists, who blog about Genarlow Wilson (a guy who had sex with a girl!) as much as they write about Larry Craig (man on man denial)!

The Weblog Awards don't offer categories like porn, sex— or what I would've fit in the best: sexual politics with frequent lapses.

I suspect a lot of the other category finalists, and non-starters, are already mounting protests. There's a contingent of fashion bloggers who are ready to burn the place down because they didn't get a category at all. And what does "Best Religious" mean?  Is all of Canada and Europe supposed to be content with one category for furriners?

Nevertheless, the Awards are a marketing gimmick I shall not completely ignore. The fun part of the action is that as  people go to vote for their girl, they discover other blogs they weren't aware of before.

If this journal gets a bunch of votes, we'll undoubtedly attract a few more delicious people, of thrilling sexual persuasion, who shall join our merry band. I shall polish my dildo.

So, as they say, Vote for Pedro! I'm an underdog in this race.

(By the way, if you want to read the best satire about these awards, check out Jon Swift, who most righteously deserves winning the "Funniest" category).

Here's how it works:

The winner will be chosen based on the number of votes cast, like "American Idol."

You can vote once a day (brew coffee, tie shoelaces, vote!).

Whenever you vote, you get to see the totals so far in all the competition.

Voting ends on Thursday, November 8, 2007, which happens to be the third year anniversary of my blog. That means you have six more tries to push that button, baby!

The last surreal twist: they are announcing the winner at a shindig in... Vegas. I shall remain here in the redwoods, savoring my kinky solitude.

VOTE HERE! Vote often! Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay!