Little Lord Stuck Pants

Do you remember when Eldridge Cleaver designed those  "Penis Pants" that— shall we say— blemished his career as a sane person and ardent revolutionary?

Well, I've found his evil twin, in Jakarta.

A massage parlor operator and Project Runway Wanna-Be named Frank has designed "Chastity Pants" for his female workers, that have sewn-in padlocks across the zippers. He has the key, and uses it every shift.

The nouveau chastity belt is his response to a religious Fundie "crackdown" on immorality in the Indonesian tourist districts. I'm sure they'll vanquish prostitution in no time at all! But, in the meantime, I think Frankie may be getting some orders from abroad...

 

  Listen to an excerpt 

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Also on today’s show, an indignant (yet curious) girlfriend finds porn on his boyfriend's computer... and lives to tell the tale! The best part is when she discovers her own unforeseen nocturnal habits, thanks to her candid conversation with her lover.

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I get a letter from a swinging couple who have questions about sex with someone with a serious disability.

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free-subscription girly cards to: susie@audible.com. (Episode 339, May 9, 2008).

Thanks to Johnathan, Derrick, for the news tips.

Comments

[Todd]

Corduroy dicks bobbing around on the street.
Padlocks so that a woman who is putting her hands all over your naked body can't do anything sexual.
And a woman seeing her boyfriend's porn collection.

Human beings are very, very strange.

Concerning the last one, I remember reading the results of a study of monkeys some time back. They were given access to sips of juice or pieces of fruit and could "trade" them for the ability to look at pictures.

The monkeys would give up a few treats to see pictures of other monkeys.

They would give up more to see pictures of monkeys they knew.

No amount of treats would induce the males to stop looking at the butts of female monkeys in estrus.

That's just how guys are.

[C.S. Lewiston]

Um, the way the words wrapped on my screen (standard 1024x768 resolution), they came out

"...But, in the meantime, I think Frankie may be getting some..."

(with the last two words "orders from abroad" on the far left of the text column).

I wonder how many broads he'll get orders from? (ba-da-bump!)

As for Mr. Cleaver, his product was merely ahead of its time. Today, Republican members of congress probably would be beating down his door!

No amount of treats would induce the males to stop looking at the butts of female monkeys in estrus.

This proves that monkeys are indeed intelligent creatures!

[Steve]

That probably wouldn't be all the Republicans would be "beating down."

Those pants make me giggle. I mean what manufacturer would, could, actually bring them into production other than "Members Only!"

[Rowan]

I came by hoping you had said in the blog what the book you recommended about disability was. It sounded like a great reference for everyone - the disabled and the currently abled alike. Darn. Guess I have to fuss with my ipod to hear it again.

[Miss Lise]

I thought you might like to have a translation of the the antique German dialogue in the chastity belt illustration - I wanted to know what they were up to, in any case.  So I sent it to my sister, G.A.W., who got a Ph.D. in Germanic philology before becoming a librarian, and here's a scholarly translation. Enjoy!

The title: "The Unequal Lovers"

The Old Man:  "Money and goods I will give you [if] you will live according to my will. Grab with your hand in[to] my pockets. I will leave the lock to you."

The Young Woman: "No lock helps against woman's treachery. There can be no loyalty, where there is no love. Therefore a key that pleases me, will I buy without  your money."

The Young Man:  "I carry a key to such locks. However much it has annoyed (frustrated, cast down) many a person. He has a fool's cap full, who wants to buy a right loving heart.