My entire show on the subject is here.
I realize my dating advice is not romantic.
It is not what the "worried well" want to hear.
But it's simply following what your doctor, dentist, and beach lifeguard are already doing: assuming that whoever you're dealing with already has herpes— and statistically speaking, don't know it. That includes you, actually.
Therefore, it is far more important what you DO than what you SAY.
Some people have told me they don't think I'm being responsible enough, serious enough, caring enough. You have got to be kidding me. I have told the whole world about my experience with herpes for the past twenty years. I went through a particularly painful ignorant period and I vowed to enlighten as many people as I can.
Let me put it this way...
If you care enough:
- to use condoms,
- to become an educator on the subject,
- to understand scientifically that HSV is not a "sex" disease or a shame test,
- to get tested for HSV, (has nothing to do with your sexual activity)
- to take anti-virals (acyclovir) prophylactically,
- and to stop kissing and screwing when your immune system is compromised‚ (that means the common cold, Yes-sirree-Bob)—
THEN, you have done a thousand billion times more than people who do nothing but complain that they were victimized by an evil herpes carrier who had illicit sex with them.
Your own best behavior is your own best defense... no matter what anyone "says" or "doesn't say."
The notion that you can get all the sexual, medical, and mental health information out in the open on a first date, prior to having sex, is an illusion.
If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about— this is the sequel to my first post, after all— go HERE for more info. Click on the links in the story too.
Or have a big long talk with your local infectious disease expert. You'll find that I am simply being a civilian loudmouth about what they already know backwards and forwards.