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Film

October 19, 2008

The Princess of Nebraska

If you were planning to go see a new movie today, take off your slippers and prepare yourself to be blown away. This is the new feature-length film from Wayne Wang, which he is releasing as an original debut on YouTube, rather than the art-house theater circuit, where it normally would've been a smash hit run.

Wayne is a genius, and when the NYTimes mentions that this new effort is "beautifully shot," that's the understatement of the year.

You could watch this film, frame by frame, with the sound off, and be spellbound. Seeing Wang's work for the first time is what it must have been like for cinema-philes when they laid eyes on Godard's Breathless in 1960. You're amazed you can feel this state of being from a moving picture.

The Princess of Nebraska is the story of a Chinese teenager who calls herself Sasha, arriving in San Francisco from Omaha, where she's been an exchange student for a few months.

She's in the City for an midterm abortion— she got pregnant over the summer by a singer named Yang at the Beijing Opera Academy who specializes in playing women's roles.  It was a one night stand. Now Yang is turning tricks, and has been kicked out of his prestigious school.

The only person Sasha knows in San Francisco is a gay man named Bashen, who ALSO was Yang's lover, and is similarly besotted and heartbroken over this mysterious young man.

Each character breaks every stereotype you've ever witnessed in a Hollywood film. It reminds you how most lives in America are completely invisible to the passing parade of media storytelling.

I won't spoil the rest of the story for you. It's an hour and a half, and you can toggle the YouTube buttons to watch it on your full screen, high quality. Yes, go get your chocolate, coffee, popcorn, and Kleenex.

I'm allowing myself the luxury of embedding the film on my blog so I can watch it again and again, whenever I want! It's so inspiring to see something this original and beautiful distributed in an entirely unique way, that the whole world— especially young people in China, Nebraska, and San Francisco!— can see and comment upon.

UPDATE: I'm getting reports from readers outside the U.S. that the video is not available in all countries... New Zealand, for example. How frustrating! I'm attempting to contact the filmmakers and get some helpful answers/information. If you know an easy way to conquer YouTube's country-restrictions, please do email me or comment below.

July 21, 2008

The History of "Black" and "Inter-racial" Porn Videos

Lialehcover Yesterday I heard from a feminist PhD candidate who is looking into the history of black actresses in porn.

To my amazement, she'd discovered that a million years ago (1986!) I'd written a story about the phenomenon of "black and inter-racial" videos in the porn biz for Adult Video News. She asked me if I could dig up a copy.

In traditional porn parlance, "inter-racial" used to imply "Black And White." Period.

Before the 90s, you didn't have any such thing as "multi-culturalism" in porn. There weren't any scenes with a Latina actress/Asian actor— or a bi-racial triad. This was before the amateur explosion, before the Internet, before DVDs.... you know, the Jurassic Age. "Black" sex movies were a tiny niche that were primarily sold to regional markets; no one talked about them.

All the directors of these films, at that time, were white— often people who dreaded their assignment:



Drea remembers her astonishment when she found out that a lot of her viewing audience assumed that she was black. In fact, Drea is a blonde who grew up in a  segregated Chicago neighborhood. She remembers, "When Harold Washington first got elected (Chicago's first black mayor), my father was going to get a gun and shoot himself."

"After every black video I'd make," says Drea, "I'd always say, 'I'll never shoot another Black video again. Never.'"



In porn starlet interviews from these early days, they'd pose questions like, "What Won't You Do on Camera?"

The most common reply from a blond ingenue would be, "I don't do anal, and I don't do blacks." Instead of greeting that statement with laughter or disbelief, everyone would just say, "Oh yeah, of course."

As for black actors, the situation, as you'll read in my story, makes Blacksploitation film look like William Lloyd Garrison's Liberator.

And... the real treat in all this, if you hunt around, is the single "Black Power" porn film that was made in 1974, called Lialeh. It was produced by Aretha Franklin's drummer at the time, Bernard Purdy. Purdy furnishes a soundtrack that puts most porn films to shame, as you can imagine. (See video clip here). Classic Woodstock Soul Meets The Panthers! I can watch this cult classic today and still get the biggest kick out of it.

When I started researching the story, I was taken aback by the prejudices and superstitions in the business. Everyone was so frank about their own racism, frustration, and cynicism. Porn biz people were outspoken about what Hollywood people had learned to keep to themselves, and off the record. If any of it blows your mind, don't imagine that these industry diehards were exceptional!

In 1987, no one wrote about porn for the mainstream press. I was the first to interview many of these people on any topic, let alone politics. AVN was produced in Pennsylvania at the time, just a small operation, and they were horrified by what I turned in. They killed the original story, and ran an aborted-version instead. It's a trade magazine, designed to promote and champion the industry— they weren't interested in critical views. I was... 20-something, naive, crushed.

So here it is, the quaint original...  I hope you'll forgive my youthful stylings and typewriter errors, but it sure has a lot to savor:

Download Susie's  Inter-Racial and Black Videos.pdf (6198.5K)

Also, if you're interested in this subject, and want a little more analysis, read my own favorite story on the subject, "White Sex".

July 12, 2008

No Sex, No Pity

Merchandising_1 Today, on my In Bed podcast, I take a look into the darker side of the Sex and the City phenomenon.

You know, I wouldn't care so much if those four neanderthal-ettes showed you how to shop for sexual insight— if that's their forté— but they even fail at that.

An unintentional erotic moment in the movie makes the point quite bitterly: three of the girlfriends realize that their fourth, Miranda, has neglected to shave her bikini line.

The camera shows a close-up of a couple of errant bright-red pubic hairs curling out from Miranda's upper thigh.

Her BFFs excoriate her: How can she destroy any hope of a sex life by refusing to shave! She must be turning her back on men altogether!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is what red cunt hair, the most prized of all genital details, has been reduced to.

When the film debuted, I spoke to Susannah Breslin at Salon, about the nausea of SATC:

"Did you see the recent New Yorker essay, "The Fall of Conservatism," by George Packer?  It paraphrases social theorist Eric Hoffer: 'Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.'

"Sex and the City is the 'racket' part of what once was recognizable as the sexual self-emancipation of the feminist movement... I can't watch these women, you know, make asses of themselves and be so petty and small-minded about sexual possibility. I take it too personally."


Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Get the show free for a month: LINK

$2 a show, for a year, why not? LINK
 

In the second half of my show, a news story in France catches my eye- can a traditional marriage can be annulled because the wife isn't a virgin?

And finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I answer a letter from a worried mom: "My son is way too sexually precocious, and it's causing me alarm..."



Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, and feedback about the show, to susie@audible.com. (Episode 347, July 4, 2008).

Photo Credit: This image is the top hit when you search Google for "Merchandising."

May 13, 2008

You and Me in a Dark Room

2142410488_2a977a3893_o In my recent travels, I've become an afficionado of downloading movies to my computer, either to rent, or purchase. Talk about instant gratification!

Let me show you my recent favorites...

There Will Be Blood 

The trailer for this movie was not made by the director, or else I would've seen it on opening weekend and sat through several repeat screenings.

It's not just, "Oh, Daniel Day Lewis, what a legendary actor." Nope. This film opens with about 15 silent minutes of action, not one word spoken, and you'll be sitting on the edge of your seat. When the last line is uttered, you gasp out loud. It's not good versus evil, or Religion vs. Capitalism. It's more like two charismatic closet cases in the most vicious fight of their lives. An tomcat brawl, as orchestrated by a homo-perverse genius, and not to be missed.

In the Valley of Elah

Tommy Lee Jones, a career military man, gets a phone call that his active duty son, just home from Iraq, has gone AWOL. Jones doesn't believe it— and drives to the base to investigate for himself, where he is thwarted at every turn. It's a great mystery, and without saying a single line of exposition about "the war," it says you everything you need to know about what's happening in Operation Bullshit.

The Darjeeling Limited

I am going to ride this legendary train, to the tea plantations of the Himalayas, if it's the last thing I do. Director Wes Anderson is endlessly inspiring. I watched the movie, bought all the music, went to the "India Trains" Web site and plotted my own reservation. Then I watched all my Wes Anderson movies all over again and listened to all the soundtracks. This one is especially touching to me. Be sure to watch the "short" before the main feature; it explains quite a lot!

Margot at the Wedding

Some members of my family were afraid to watch this film because they feared they couldn't sit through a microscopic examination of a shocking dysfunctional family. Ha! I found it catnip.  This director does "narcissistic prick" forensics like no one else. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Nicole Kidman are superb. Definitely gets the Mo Movie Measure Seal of Approval.

Blame it On Fidel

A little rich girl in 1960s France who's being raised as the Perfect Little Aristocrat is shocked out of her mind when her parents suddenly decide to support the Cuban Revolution, fire her nanny, and move into a revolutionary commune with atrocious food. To see 1968 through her eyes is precious, funny, and very moving.

Eastern Promises

My boyfriend, Viggo Mortensen, naked, without even a towel, fighting for his life in a Turkish spa, against two knife-wielding Russian mobster sadists. Jesus! Do you need to know anything else?

February 01, 2008

The Family-Friendly Porn Studio

Mrclean Back in the good ole' days of the 1990s, "family-friendly" movie fans reached the breaking point.

They were tired of almost-wholesome movies like Titantic being marred by coarse language and shots of Kate Winslet's breasts. They wished they could enjoy pirate films that weren't decked with profanities. They wanted their kids to have a decent breath of fresh cinematic air— and what exasperated parent couldn't sympathize?

So the White Knights took out their scissors. A group of "clean-it-up" video pioneers based in Utah, led by the "Clean Flix" company— decided to cut the naughty bits from classic Hollywood movies, and then sell their bastardized G-rated versions.

But film directors didn't like it. Big meanies like Steven Spielberg and Robert Redford sued the pants off of Clean Flix, demanding that their raw, vulgar integrity— and final edit— be left alone. Clean Flix founder Daniel Thompson was forced to his knees by the Hollywood moguls who didn't care about his honest crusade for family entertainment that one could watch without blushing.

What DOES it take to break a man? We'll never understand, will we?

But this week, CleanFlixer Daniel Thompson has been arrested for buying blow jobs from two 14-year-old girls and trying to lure them into his private "porn studio."

According to the SLC Tribune:


The booking documents state Thompson told the 14-year-olds that his film sanitizing business was a cover for a pornography studio. He asked the girls if they would participate in making a porn movie, but they refused, the documents state.

Police found a "large quantity" of pornographic movies inside the business, along with a keg of beer, painkillers, and two cameras hooked up to a television. Thompson told police he didn't know the teenagers were under 18 or that they were paid for sex. He said pornography found at the business was for "personal use."


I have to say, my tender sensibilities are completely fuckin' floored. Greta Christina wrote me, as she forwarded the news:

Is there a sex-phobic right winger who ISN'T fucking guys, hookers, or teenagers?

Any at all?

Anywhere?


January 03, 2008

Anatomy of a Smushmortion

Bilde1 I finally went to see Juno. I've been making the rounds of "Smushmortion" Cinema.

I was one of the last to see the popular comedy, Knocked Up, but I giggled my fair share. I teared up over Quinceneara. I Netflixed my way to Waitress, the most mouth-watering of the bunch. I had to leave Bella behind at the trailer, 'cause I got a tummy-ache. But who can forget Miranda's little package that started the whole trend on Sex and the City?


WARNING: Spoilers Ahead!


I'm perplexed by the newest baby-happy trend in movies with female leads. A woman becomes unexpectedly, unhappily pregnant. It's under "the worst possible circumstances."

The beautiful woman... and I mean, she's STUNNING... makes the decision to keep her baby and have the perkiest, most upbeat pregnancy I've ever seen in my life. I can't recall  a single friend who PLANNED to have a baby, who ever had as great a gestation period as these heroines.

Here's some of the things you can look forward to in your unplanned Hollywood pregnancy:


WaitressBest Sex of your Entire Life with your Gynecologist (Waitress)

Billionaire mentor leaves you all his money on his deathbed (Waitress)

Your first high school lover ends up being the most perfect love you will ever know (Juno)

You really ARE a virgin... the sperm only seeped through your jeans (Quinceañera)

Parents who rejected you take you back into their loving arms at the last moment because they realized they were all wrong (Quinceañera)

Closed adoption, another last minute decision, works out for the best for everybody (Juno)

Raising a child-like boyfriend is a darling substitute for an infant (Juno, Knocked Up)

Bella Your professional entertainment career finally takes off (Knocked Up)

International soccer star and his loving relatives become your surrogate family
(Bella)

Guys quit their jobs and give up their best buddy's approval just to be with you (Knocked Up, Bella)

You see the light and cancel your abortion seconds before the procedure begins (Sex and the City, Juno)

Keeping the baby gets you your boyfriend back and makes you realize you really do want to get married to him, after rejecting him for years (Sex and the City)

Abortion is  fine for someone else, but not for someone heroic and plucky like YOU! (ALL)


Quince Now, don't get me wrong; I enjoyed these movies. I laughed, I quoted the best lines, I sighed over the hot sex and loving moments. I choked up. Really.

But the overall effect was disquieting. The movies are farces, masquerading as romantic comedies. In a couple cases, it alarmed me that they couldn't utter the word "abortion" aloud, no matter how many naked boobs, swear words, or bong jokes were included.

I asked my friend and culture critic, Laura Miller, what she thought about these abortion-free flicks:

LM: They bothered me, too. Fictional characters are barely allowed to consider abortion, but there are some technical reasons why.

You don't make a character pregnant just to have it go away with a minimum of fuss; pregnancy and a baby provide the kind of conflict that drives stories. So if a story-tellers make a character pregnant to begin with, it's usually because they want it to play out.

They might try to milk a little extra drama out of her deciding whether or not to terminate, but that's about it. Some of this is probably a moral thing, but a good portion has to do with the necessities of generating plot.

As for a movie where someone does decide to have an abortion— I think it's hard to ever present this as an affirmative experience.

Sure, people have them, get on with their lives, and are grateful for the choice. But it's not like anyone's ever happy that they had to have an abortion, only that they had the option. Like a root canal, it's a hard experience to build a movie around, especially now that fewer people remember what it was like when abortions were illegal.

There was a Mike Leigh movie, Vera Drake, about an abortion-provider, and another movie called Citizen Ruth that I never saw, but I know was an unconventional take on the abortion battles.


Miranda SB: Well, I was filled with happiness and relief in the aftermath of the two abortions I had. A root canal never gave me insight or inspiration to do anything.

In the case of my first abortion, the aftermath was the beginning of my realization that I was capable and desirous of having  a child. I could feel the possibility, the confidence, for the first time. I didn't see that coming. I ended a relationship that I hadn't had the guts to say "No" to before. It was like I grew a spine— and my maternal instincts— out of the abortion decision.

I had a supportive, enlightening, and even sentimental experience at the abortion clinic, which is either an anomaly, or has simply never been shown on screen.  By sheer coincidence, two acquaintances of mine were in the same recovery room; we were in each other's arms as soon as we could sit up! Physically, it was painless, and my doctors were awesome.

The second time, I already had a kid and was clear I didn't want to go through pregnancy again. Instead of my early naïveté, I bore the realism of self-supporting motherhood. My relationship with my partner became a lot closer after that, and I didn't necessarily expect it, because his biological clock was the one ticking at that point.

These aren't experiences I ever thought of fashioning a story or a script about...  they're complicated. I can't even say I understand them all yet. Motherhood's the hardest thing I've ever done. I've never loved someone so much, I've never been so hurt, so thrilled, so blown away, or felt so stupid, or proud. To have control over my reproductive life so far has made all the difference. If I hadn't had birth control, if I hadn't been able to have an abortion... well, I would've likely met the fate of  the earlier generation of women in my family tree, who had babies every year until they dropped dead at an unseemly young age. There's a movie for ya!

KnockedupLM: I agree that in real life being able to terminate can be a liberating, positive experience, but I'm not sure it would play that way. That's the difference between drama and life, I think, which people are prone to forget.

In reality, you have a whole idea of the life that you expect to be leading over the next "X" years, and you're attached to it. That imagined life can be as real to you as your actual past. But there's no way to render that imagined life in a movie. Drama is all about conflict and change, not about things going on the way they were before.

SB: I think my critical eye is twitching at these smushmortion-flicks because there's little else to balance their p.o.v. It's a dilemma inspired by the poverty of representation. There are hardly any popular films about women's lives, so the ones that do appear are going to get raked over the coals by the last feminists standing.

When one of these Romantic Cutie Trends gets going, I get queasy. It's like Pretty Woman all over again. Plucky Prostitute is now Plucky Preggers. Bite Me!

My favorite "abortion" movie of all time so far, is one that makes no pretense that it's a farce.

Saved! is about a girl at a Christian private school who tries unsuccessfully to get her boyfriend to give up his homosexuality. She fails in her attempt, but ends up pregnant anyway. Everyone in the movie  loses their fragile grip with the hypocrisy that surrounds them. It's totally ludicrous and yet truer than any of the "Smushies" that came out last year. 

Here's one of my favorite scenes:



December 25, 2007

The Snowman

December 18, 2007

Wachowskis and Bright Do "Directors' Commentary" on Bound

And they said they'd be delighted!

This "director's commentary" on the movie, Bound, was one of the first of such commetaries... it was done for a Laser CD edition, before the advent of DVD's.

(Bound was the movie that Larry and Andy Wachowski made before their big hit, The Matrix. They asked me to consult on the lesbian characters and sex in Bound's script).

The Wachowskis, the editor, and I, were the only ones who showed up for the first hour, because the actors and everyone else were pretty dubious of these newfangled "commentaries." We were considered the real geeks who couldn't resist trying it out. It's all improvised;  we're just sitting down at a small table and watching the movie on screen.

I had a Coke and Larry and Andy had beer. Then Joey came in, during the first third, and he ordered something from takeout. This was before he was cast in his famous role in the Sopranos, and he was so grateful to the Brothers for this casting.


Continue reading "Wachowskis and Bright Do "Directors' Commentary" on Bound" »

December 04, 2007

My Favorite Movies I Just Happened to See in 2007

Berkeley When you look at my list of favorite screenings this year, you may well conclude that Miss Susie doesn't get out much. All but one film I've listed is from another year gone by.

I'm not lazy or disinterested in current cinema: it's just that most NEW films I saw the past twelve months, plain stunk-- or were oddly unfinished.

Michael Clayton, Into the Wild, No Country for Old Men, The Simpsons' Movie, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead-- I went into all of them with such high hopes.

But then something would fall off the picture like an old hubcap. Did someone lose their completion funds? Strangle the screenwriter in a fit of pique? 

Meanwhile, the physical experience of theater attendance continues to go the way of the dodo bird and the tolerable Coach flight.

I am so happy to eat chocolate bread pudding, sprawled on my sofa in a lace slip with a White Russian on the side-- bathing in the ambient light of my Epson projector lighting our pull-down screen. It takes an Act of Zeus to drag myself to the pits that pass for film theaters in this town.

I will recommend a couple exceptions, in case you're ever in Santa Cruz. The Del Mar art-deco theater is a 1930s restored palace, which is heaven to sit in, while enjoying your Black China Cupcakes with an excellent cup of coffee. Still no hash bar, though.

The same owner screens great movies at the Nickelodeon, around the corner, but you need back pillows to make it through a 80 minute flick.

Our fantastic drive-in and swap meet site, the fifty-eight-year-old SkyView just closed down last weekend, forever. I watched one final terrible movie on Saturday, in the back of my van, stuffed in a double sleeping bag. It was still swoon-worthy. I don't recommend "Fred Claus," that's for sure-- but I sob over the demise of this joint. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the last drive-in I have the privilege of making out in.

I am determined to see, in a theater, before the New Year: American Gangster, Enchanted, Gone Baby Gone, Darjeeling Ltd., This is England, Pete Seeger: The Power of Song, and Juno. Please advise me if I am making a terrible mistake!

What have been your favorite movies you've see this year, regardless of when they first came out?

And now...  the very, very best of my 2007 Netflix Queue:


Continue reading "My Favorite Movies I Just Happened to See in 2007" »

November 29, 2007

You've Never Seen the Ramayana Like This


I am captivated by this trailer for "Sita Sings the Blues," Nina Paley's take on "the greatest breakup story ever told." I'm going to see the sneak preview in San Francisco this weekend, but you can bother her yourself and find out when she will release her little bit of genius to the world!

September 11, 2007

Saddle Up and Be a Righteous Porn Critic

I've just created a new blog-toy I'm eager to take out for a spin.

It's a little form that makes it easy for you to submit your very own discerning porno review to our very own Cinderella project, the Random Honest Porn Review blog.

Now, you too, can write a brilliant X-blistered critique in a couple minutes, and I can load it almost as fast!

What is RHPR? It's apparently the only place on earth where people don't lie.

Speaking of memorable films— although not X-rated— I went to see the neo-Western, 3:10 To Yuma last night and it is FANTASTIC.

Elmore Leonard wrote this short story in the '50s when he was an unknown, grinding out Western pulps. It was made into a movie with Glenn Ford & Van Heflin in 1957. Even then, you can see the master storyteller at work.

Ten minutes into the new movie, I spilled a scalding large coffee all over myself, from tits to knees, and screamed in agony at an inappropriate moment. I STILL didn't leave the theater because I was so enthralled.

Russell Crowe and "fuck-me-now" Christian Bale are the leads, Peter Fonda steals every scene, and Ben Foster is the most deliciously psycho-queer sadist cowboy you have ever seen in your brokeback life. Yee-ha!

July 12, 2007

Susie Bright (& Shirley MacLaine!) on The Children's Hour

From The Celluloid Closet.  Isn't Shirley great? All the actors who provide commentary in this documentary are so well-spoken. Susan Sarandon is priceless in her commentary on "The Hunger," as well.


February 14, 2007

Alicia Erian Takes Off The Towel

Towelhead4"THOMAS SAID, “I thought of something you could do to impress me.”

“What?” I asked. It was Hamburger Day and I was tearing open a plastic packet of mustard.

“Have sex with me.”

“Okay,” I said.


An excerpt from the novel, Towelhead, by Alicia Erian, from Best American Erotica 2007.

 

“Really?” he said. For the first time in a long while, he sounded kind of friendly.

“Yes.”

“Great,” he said. “When?”

“Whenever you want.”

“Well,” he said, “I guess we need to figure out a place first.”

“We can’t do it at my house,” I said. I couldn’t risk Mr. Vuoso and Zack telling on me again.

Thomas nodded. “We can do it at my house.”

“What about your parents?” I asked.

“They’ll be at work.”

“What if they come home?”

“They won’t. They never come home early.”

“I’ll have to walk home,” I said.

“You can take a taxi,” Thomas said. “I’ll pay for it.”

I thought about this, then said, “All right.”

“Can we do it today?” he asked.

“Do you have a condom?”

“No.”

“Then we’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I have one at home I can bring.”

“Where’d you get it?”

“From Mr. Vuoso’s duffel bag.”

“I don’t want to use that racist’s condom.”

“You have to,” I said. “It’s the only one we have.”

Story continues here...


26_1271a13190_p Interview with the author, Alicia Erian:

SB: I know you didn't write this as a Young Adult novel— and yet when I first read it, I thought, "This is a great story for anyone who is actually Jasira's age, 15."  But YA novels aren't supposed show any pleasure in sex, are they? They are ultimate contradiction-- adolescent lives without sexual self-interest.

AE: The same week you told me you'd picked Towelhead for Best American Erotica, I was  informed by The New York Public Library that the book had been named as one of their "Best YA Novels of the Year."

In all honesty, it's not a book I'd buy for a 14-year-old. But I would probably buy it for a 15 year old. I don't even know if there's a difference. However, I  feel strongly that books are not like movies or TV. If a kid finds a book and wants to read it, that's her right. How many books did you and I read when we were younger that we "weren't supposed to?" The book that is given is very different from the book you take for yourself.

I was touched by Jasira's innocence about racism. She's constantly victimized by it, and yet her own concerns are that she might be at fault. She worries that her high school boyfriend Thomas will never forgive her for her parents' bigotry. She falls for the "You are racist unless you go to bed with me" line. What were you thinking about when you composed these scenes?

In high school i wanted to date a black kid named Andre, and my parents said I couldn't. My mother called my father, and he called and explained that this would ruin my reputation. He's Egyptian! My mom is white!

Several years later, my mom had a longterm black boyfriend. She admitted then that she was ashamed of having prevented me from seeing Andre in high school. My best friend at the time, Maureen, was horrified that I would listen to my parents, like the "Denise" character in Towelhead. She was the first person who got me thinking that I had my own mind, that I could disobey a parent. I'd never thought of that before.

Jasira is less of a weenie than I was. When I told Maureen about my parents' rules, I cried. That was part of what irritated her, I think. She was, like, "What's the matter with you? Your parents are retards. Don't be such a baby." As dopey as Jasira can be at times, I think of her as a wacky little warrior.

You did a good job of making me hate Jasira's mom and dad— I wanted to strangle them several times. Aside from their quirks, prejudices, and hangups, they were both supremely narcissistic. Am I reading too much into it?

Hell, no. I was raised by two Card-Carrying Narcissists. These people, they just destroy their kids. I had to write Towelhead to try to pay off my therapy bills!

Narcissists breed kids who are desperate for love and attention and make lots of stupid choices about how to get those things. One of my early inspirations for writing T-head was a comment my brother made about my father. He said, "I try to explain to my friends about Dad, and they all say, 'Oh, c'mon, he doesn't sound so bad.'" I felt terrible when my brother said this, that he didn't have the words to talk about our
experience.

Jasira makes a friend in a kindly, if ambivalent, feminist neighbor next door, who shares a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves. What about early feminism made a big impression on your sexuality?

It was just that: the books. My mother's copies of Our Bodies, Ourselves, The Joy of Sex , her Anais Nin collection. I spent a lot of time reading this stuff while she was at work. I didn't know it at the time, but it was Susan Brownmiller's book about rape, Against Our Will, that made the strongest, freakiest impression. I read it as porn, which I feel, to this day, that it is. Since porn isn't a dirty word to me, I don't mean this as an insult, but fact.

As a kid, I found the book scary and titillating. I knew what rape was, and I also grew afraid of it happening to me after reading this book. If it did ever happen to me, god forbid, my thoughts on this subject could change entirely. But as a kid, that book made me horny. I wasn't a particularly guilty kid, and am not a particular guilty adult— shame is my poison— so I was able to puzzle over how weird it was that this "bad stuff" turned me on. This concept figures heavily into my writing: the way things are vs. the way they should be.

I reject the idea that women are locked out of the huge sexual appetite club because that's for men. I love "male-gaze" pornography. I get irritated when other women try to tell me I'm not supposed to. What turns you turns you on. Feminism, to me, means in part that women are never asked to try to find something "a little more appropriate" to be turned on by.

When you consider your teenage self, what part of your sexuality remained essential, as you grew older, and what changed?

I'm pretty much the same cavewoman I've always been. However, after I got divorced, I was very careful to find someone who was as horny as I was. I was shocked by the number of men I met who weren't particularly interested in sex. Finally, though, I stumbled across the horniest man on the planet. He has a lot of testosterone, and is appropriately impressed by the fact that I do too. It's  sexy to me that he's 47 and in such good working order.

Imageshowasp Can you say anything about the film version in the works? What a great role for a young woman.

I can tell you that the movie is fucking awesome and it's going to blow people away. It'll come out this year, though I don't know when.

Alan Ball, the director, is a brilliant man, and Peter Macdissi, who plays Daddy, is unstoppable. You can't take your eyes off him.

Jasira is played by a newcomer named Summer Bishil and she's gorgeous, sexy, charming, funny, and so lovable.

Toni Collette plays the feminist neighbor, Melina, and Maria Bello plays Jasira's mom Gail. Thomas is played by a very cute young man named Eugene Jones, and Mr. Vuoso is played by Aaron Eckhart, who is unbelievably sexy and amazing.

Summer had just turned 18 when filming started last fall, and her mom was there every day on the set, supporting her. I think she's going to get a lot of attention after the film debuts. She deserves it.

Could you describe what a "proper" Arab-American girl growing up in the US is supposed to act like?

I'm so disconnected from Arab culture. I never wanted any part of it as a kid. It was all lumped in with my father, who I didn't like. My general impression has always been that sexuality is really a no-no. Talking about it, reflecting it in dress, attitude, whatever. Just: No.

The hard thing for someone who is an Arab, and living in the US, is that behavior inside your home isn't necessarily going to mesh with what's going on in the world around you. it's hard to flip those switches on and off, just because you happen to cross the threshold of your front door.

I consider myself a fierce feminist. My mother is too. She started an abortion fund in the late sixties for women who couldn't afford one. It only had $400 in it, but whatever. She does a lot of volunteer work for the League of Women Voters. Narcissism aside, she has great ideas about how things should be for women. Especially that women should have and enjoy sex and be at ease with their bodies.

How does your own family view your critique?

I don't speak to my father, but my brother does. He reports my father as having referred to me as "his daughter who makes her living off of how much she hates me." Apparently he doesn't  tell people he has a daughter.

I'm so tough-hearted about him at this point in my life. It's probably a defense, but I find it funny, his commentary. He never thought I should be a writer. Never had faith in my abilities. It's funny now, tickling that fact in my head every now and then.

My mother is chagrined, but does her best. She has moments of great lucidity where she gasps at what a shitty parent she was, and says she hopes I can earn as much money off her as possible. Other times, though, she's defensive and kind of mean.

You obviously weren't writing an erotic book, per se, but you must have had some thoughts about how you wanted to handle the sex scenes... Tell me!

Oh, I'm almost always writing an erotic book. Here's something interesting: now that, for the first time in my life, I have a sex life that is up to my standards, I have almost no interest in writing about sex. For a long time it was what I wrote about, because I was so sorely lacking in it. I was managing my frustration.

Most sex scenes are best handled in a concrete and straightforward way. I like to think  my sexual prose is the equivalent of a porno film, where there's not too much lovey-dovey stuff, in favor of lots of action. I like people to show their desire through their greediness. I like them to show their excitement through less-than-stellar choices made for the sole purpose of instant gratification. If I succeed in getting someone aroused with my work, it's because I've succeeded in removing all judgment from the scenario. I've reduced each character to the animal that he or she truly is. The End!

December 28, 2006

I Lost It At the Movies

Bara_theda_01 End-of-the-year movie round-ups give me the grateful chance to see all I've missed— that's plenty— and plot hours of future film-gorging at my big screen trough.

The deep plushie of "best-of" movie lists is the Greencine blog, where you'll find Fuck-You-Hollywood sentiments in abundance. GC editor David Hudson keeps track of all the brilliant movies you never heard of, and he also keeps all the half-baked celebutards OUT. It's a velvet rope I'm grateful to see him swing.

It's interesting to note that the only American movies worth remembering this year were anti-establishment in their political views, be they comic like Little Miss Sunshine, or the unsparing United 93. "Sex" and "War" were the only two topics American filmmakers excelled at unraveling, but that's what you get when you're stuck in unbearable empire-building driven by the puritanical sleazebags. 

Although I steeled myself to watch the serious stuff, I craved escape. The silky side of my movie year was spent fantasizing about me and Helen Mirren, or me and Daniel Craig— or maybe just a drug orgy with Alan Arkin. If you had to ask me what the sexiest movies were I saw this year, of any vintage, I would say, "Just look them up, their whole catalog."

What actor(s) captivated you this year, and which movies did you find yourself thinking about more than twice?


The photo above is of Theda Bara, one of silent movie femme fatales of the 20s who my grandmother, Agnes Williams, adored. Agnes got Theda's autographed photo, plus a whole collection of other stars' studio portraits, when she had a job as a teenager playing the piano at Fargo's first silent movie theater. One of these days I'll scan them all and make a slide show for the blog— they're gorgeous.

December 04, 2006

Sex Consultant to the Stars— And Gary Graver

Graverwelles1On November 16, legendary cinematographer Gary Graver, Orson Welles' cameraman and devoted "second," passed away at age 68, of cancer.

Graver was beloved in Hollywood. He learned filmmaking in Vietnam, in the Navy Combat Camera Crew. He worked for Roger Corman, shot countless horror classics, and photographed Ronnie Howard's first spin as a director in 1977's original Grand Theft Auto

Just a few years ago, he appeared at American Cinematheque with Peter Bogdanovich and Oya Kodar, Welles' executrix and last lover, to show fragments of Orson Welles late, unfinished movies. He didn't have much time left.

But the talented D.P. had a secret. It's one of those old-fashioned secrets that half of Hollywood takes it for granted, while the other half is so intent on keeping it under wraps that it appears nowhere in the man's obituary.

Graver was memorialized everywhere, acclaimed in every paper from New York to L.A. But nowhere is it mentioned that for twenty years, Gary Graver directed and shot more than 135 erotic, X-rated films— several of which are considered among the best "adult" movies ever made: 3 AM, Amanda By Night, and V:The Hot One. The man is an Adult Industry Hall-of-Famer. The idea that people involved in Gary's legacy are covering up his true accomplishments because they're so prejudiced against sex is both mysterious and pathetic.

In porn, Gary Graver was known as Robert McCallum. He worked in the sex biz for twenty years, and as porn critic Mark Kernes wrote in AVN:

Nearly all of McCallum's better hardcore movies have been available continuously on videotape and later DVD since they were completed – which is more than can be said for many of his mainstream productions. In that sense, it could be argued that Graver's legacy in the adult industry is on a par with the bulk of his Hollywood accomplishments.

I worshiped Robert McCallum's work; I studied his porn like it was D.H. Lawrence with a lens. His first explicit feature, 3 A.M., became my inspiration for my own first big-feature erotic screenplay— the scenes between lesbian lovers "Violet and Corky" in the Wachowski Brother's Bound.

Critics061311 If you look at Bound, and then go watch McCallum's 3AM shower scene between Georgina Spelvin and Judith Hamilton, you will see where I got all my thrills. Georgina was the best actress porn ever had (Devil in Miss Jones) and Judith was her real girlfriend at the time.  I sent a copy of that tape to Larry and Andy Wachowski, with the note: "watch the master at work."

As critic Jim Holliday wrote in Only The Best: "[3AM] succeeds not only as a sex film, but on a much higher level as well. In addition to the great acting and the solid story, there is a character development seldom seen in erotic films."

Graver's best porn work was from the era in the late 70s and early 80s when X-rated movies were still "allowed" to be heavy, to be dark. 3AM and V don't have sunny endings. The level of emotion, and in both these cases, loss, is something you'd never see in the perky popcorn of today's XXX. His cinematic style, the eroticism created by his camera and lighting, is unsurpassed. None of the contemporary young directors or actors in adult would even know how to pull it off. It's practically a lost art at this point, just like Orson's movie that is never going to be finished now.

Is Gary's surviving family ashamed of his erotic work?  Does the Times think his full resumé is beyond the pale? What gives?  It seems like a strange omission in today's film-geek atmosphere. What did Orson think of his blue work? Did Gary use the porn money to further Welles' unfinished work, or was it just the fun of sex, drugs, and rocknroll? Did Gary ever go on the record about his whole career; did he talk about his best erotic work?

Graver's horror movies were sometimes just as "silly," for better or worse, as anything he ever did with actors fucking on camera, and yet all his exploitation flicks are still on his official CV. I'd rather see 3 A.M. over Satan's Sadists any day of the week!

It's understood in Hollywood today that most of the legends have worked both sides of high and low culture. It's considered backward to think there's a definitive aesthetic difference! Can you imagine John Water's disowning Pink Flamingos?

Ten years ago when I choreographed and consulted on Bound, I wrote a story about how we put the erotic scenes and characters together.

I offer my essay here again, as my homage to Gary Graver's/Robert McCallum's legacy: how to show two beautiful, complicated women make love, and never let anyone forget it.

Susie


Susieonboundset_2 Sex Consultant to the Stars

I've given a lot of tips to people about their love life over the years— but I can't say I've ever had the chance to watch and see if they actually followed my instructions to the letter.

That's what I found so satisfying about getting a job as a cinematic sex consultant— for once I got to ensure that all those techniques I raved about, my emphasis on the perfect caress— were played out to my most exacting standards. Yeah, it was sweet all right; I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with handing out free—not to mention unverified)— bedroom advice ever again.

I was the "technical consultant" to a movie that soaked many a critic’s wet test: Bound, starring Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly. It was the first-time feature from Matrix writer/directors Larry and Andy Wachowski, a film noir thriller about a pair of lesbian lovers who try to double-cross the mob.

What was so “technical” about this film? There's quite a bit of suspense and graphic violence— and I'm the kind of girl who can't even handle the buildup of a surprise birthday cake.

No, my expertise was developing the characters of the butch/femme lovers: Corky (a James Dean look-alike, recently paroled) and luscious Violet (a curvy mobster mistress).

It all started two years  before the picture’s release with a modest little fan letter. I got a package from Larry and Andy, attached to a script, saying that they loved my writing. They held my early bible on dyke sex, Susie Sexpert's Lesbian Sex World, in high esteem. They said they would be honored if I would consider making a cameo appearance in their new film.

"That's nice," I thought— and not to sound spoiled, but this invitation didn't electrify me. It seems everybody is making their own movie today— including me. I've been part of  many an amateur production with untrained enthusiasm. I frequently get asked to pull my dress up over my head on camera, or write dialog for some experimental performance art. I once lent out my Spain-autographed thigh-high leather boots for a comrade's dominatrix documentary. While I applaud my friends' virtuosity, working on their movies was a grind, and I've become more discriminating.

Here's what was intriguing about Andy and Larry’s letter: the letterhead didn't sport their name. Instead, it was embossed: "Dino De Laurentis Studios." Quite a calling card. I decided to postpone loading the dishwasher and sat down with the script.

I didn't budge for the next hour except to scream between pages. It was one diabolical setup. The action was razor tight, the characters were whispering in my ears. This was fantastic writing. There was only one thing missing.

I wrote back to Mr. and Mr. Wachowski:

"Your script is outstanding. I'd be delighted to play your bar girl cameo. But if you don't think I'm too presumptuous, could I be your lesbian-sex consultant? I notice that whenever the two lovers fall into an embrace, it doesn't say exactly what happens next. On behalf of every movie-goer who can't live through another cornball lesbian love scene, could I please, please, give you my words of advice on what two women like this would do in bed together?"

They said yes. They may have even said, "Yahoo." I met Larry and his then-wife, Thea, at a Holiday Inn a few weeks later, and they were the opposite of every Hollywood celebrity I'd encountered in the past. They weren't kidding about knowing my stuff. They could quote my own prose right back to my face. I knew they saw the dykes in their movie as having the kind of sassy, let's-get-down-to-it sensibility that I've always written about.

I don't know how many of you have seen the catalog of lesbian films over the years. Most of them, like Personal Best, or Desert Hearts, concern a tender coming-out story— shyly romantic, erotically timid. I'm known to be shy and sentimental myself, but lesbian life does not begin and end with baby powder.

When you think about it, most people's best sexual experiences don't occur the first time between the sheets. As you gain more experience about who you are, and what you like, your sex life improves drastically. So why are Hollywood lesbians always portrayed in their diaper stage? I longed for characters who knew what they wanted and were hungry for more. I wanted to get beyond dewy girlishness and into some pussy power.

First, I sent Larry and Andy a portrait photo from the cover of the book I was working on, Nothing But the Girl, about lesbian erotic photography. When I first met Gina, I carried the same picture in my hand: a beautiful butch woman sitting a la Rodin's "Thinker, tattooed and muscled with a cowlick like Elvis, but with all the shadows and soft curves of a woman's figure. The model's name was Ronny, but when I sent the picture to the Wachowski’s, I wrote, "This is your Corky."

Corky's character is a revelation in Hollywood cinema, because it is the first time since the days of Marlene Dietrich and Greta Garbo that female masculinity has been eroticized. Traditionally, when we see a woman in the movies who’s a "dyke,” she’s a mannish woman, but more than that, a psychopath, the social misfit. She's the prison warden, the weird jock, the brutal nurse, the fucked-up punk. When have we ever seen a gorgeous woman of our generation on screen who moved like Jimmy Dean, sulked like a young Brando, and drew a bead on you like the Sundance Kid? Corky had to be the kind of woman that everyone in the theater would be dying to go to bed with, and she had to do it without acting the least bit like a girly-girl.

Violet, on the other hand, couldn't just be any straight girl on the drift. She had to be a femme diva, as calculating and sensual as a cat. She’s a woman who's lost a bit of her soul fucking men for money, but who knows exactly what kind of touch she needs to find redemption. Most of all— and this was the part that cracked the cliché about dangerous femme fatales— she had to be a femme you could count on, whether it was getting you off or getting you out of a jam.

The Wachowskis had the character and dialog ready to roll in their script; it was just a matter of how to keep that same feeling going in the sex scenes. Given the infantile nature of American censorship, how much could we show on screen before we got our hand slapped by the producers? It was a frightening prospect.

I sent the brothers a couple of X-rated film clips of lesbian sex I turned to for inspiration. One was a shower scene from Robert McCallum's 3 AM, a golden oldie of the porn world that makes every audience who's ever seen it dead silent with awe. The other piece I told them about was an art world video I'd acted in for a friend, called Kathy, by Cecilia Dougherty. I loved the sex scenes in these movies and I had some ideas about how to shoot the same sort of thing for an R-rating.

There were two main ideas on my mind. One, unlike most Hollywood lesbian scenarios, this movie shouldn't insinuate oral sex— that's not the kind of characters we were looking at. Bound’s premise is about getting inside someone very fast, trusting them with everything. These women had to be inside each other, fucking one other. Penetration was the act we wanted to imply. Obviously we weren't going to get away with gynecological or hardcore shots in a movie that was headed for America's shopping malls. But I knew all we had to show were the right clues.

There are thousands of Hollywood heterosexual movies where we easily imagine the male and female lovers having intercourse— everything from Here to Eternity to Basic Instinct. So how do you imply lesbians having "intercourse"?

My idea, inspired from the Kathy footage, was that we show a woman's legs, straining and squeezing, and that we also see that her lover's forearm between her thighs at the same time. We dwell on that arm for a moment, moving back and forth in a fucking rhythm, unrelenting. Then, instead of following her arm all the way up to her lover's pussy, we would cut to her stomach, fluttering like a little butterfly in that spasm we all recognize as orgasm. I loved the idea of eroticizing a woman's belly like that. A lot of traditional erotic movies try to show a woman's sexual pleasure by focusing the lens on her cleavage. Maybe that's what the director was looking at, but that’s not where she’s coming!

The other key idea I offered was to eroticize the women's hands whenever they were flirting or making love with each other. "A lesbian's hands are her cock,” I said. “They're the hard-on of the movie— that's what you want to follow.

When I saw Corky's hands on screen, I wanted to imagine how they would feel inside me. Her loving hands are the metaphorical substitute for the genital shots that we wouldn’t be showing.

I went through my whole little consulting session alternating between glee and dread. I had gasped my way through one big-budget film consulting experience before, and it burned me like a marshmallow on a stick. In the late 80s, I was approached by a dapper man from southern California who asked me if I thought that there was a film market for a woman's erotic point of view.

Uh, yeah, as I matter of fact I did. I wouldn't even have a career if it wasn't for all the incredible women who've come out of the woodwork to write their own erotic stories, make their own movies, sex toys, and social lives that incorporate their genuine desires. I don't know a single woman who isn't disappointed with the way female sexuality is portrayed in television, women's magazines, and studio movies. It's garbage and it's insulting.

So I ended up writing the dialog for a script with a woman director I admired, Lizzie Borden, and I loved working with the actors during that shoot. But once I was off the scene, the producer took the movie and got rid of every element that made him personally uncomfortable— and there went the movie's promise. I introduced the film during its premiere at a Seattle film fest, and had to face an angry audience who felt like I'd personally let them down. If this was women's erotica, then it was a major sellout. I wanted to wear one of those buttons that say, "I just work here." I agreed with everyone's criticism. Why no male nudity? Why all the coy lesbian pattycake, and avoidance of any man to man eroticism, when it was clearly in the script's intentions? Why all the gender clichés?

Up until that point I had the Good Coozie-Keeping Seal of integrity on all my writings and projects. The moment I had signed up with this conventional Hollywood studio, my reputation was trashed. What a nightmare.

I felt like Larry, Andy and I were on the same wavelength, but I wasn't going to be around when their producers, bean-counters and lawyers got their hands on it. This movie was going to seen by every lesbian and lesbian-lover I knew, and they would crucify me if it was anything less than authentic.

Most fans I meet ask me about the actresses in this story, rather than the directors. Before this experience, I think I'd have done the same. When you see someone on screen blowing your mind, thrilling you with their charisma, you feel like all your thanks and identification should rest at their feet.

Andy and Larry sure don't look like a couple of glamorous dykes, but believe me, the characters you saw up there come straight from their groovy imaginations and fertile libidos, with a little inspiration from me, their wives, and probably a lot of other artists and lovers they've admired over the years. Their actresses mirrored them, not the other way around.

I was apprehensive to meet Gina Gershon. Her role, “Corky,” was the one I was worried about. Every actress is trained to play a whore/mistress/siren, the physical outline of Violet’s femme character. But what women in Hollywood gets asked to play a sexy butch, a bulldagger you'd like to get to know inside and out?

Gina came up to meet me in San Francisco before the shoot started. It was a relief to see her in person from the moment she walked up and grabbed my hand. She was physically right for the part— dark and handsome and brooding, no problem.

I blurted out, "I hope you don't think this is some granola-chewing, Birkenstock-wearing womb-oon on the page here," —and she laughed out loud. Gina was already on the right track, thinking about the most erotically compelling male icons in movie history to draw her machisma from. She had been around the block. That's what I wanted. It wouldn't have done anybody a favor to have a genuine panty-tested lesbian if she had been a Pollyanna or a prude. Most importantly, Gina was an actress. I gave her some books, and directions to the sleaziest, sweatiest lesbian club night I could think of. She was set.

My last gift to cinematic realism was just before my trip down to L.A. to shoot my cameo scene. I was to play my cameo as a fetching babe in a dive that Corky tries to unsuccessfully pick up. My big line is "Hello," but I look like a fox.

I knew the bar scene would be stocked with extras to make it look like a happening place. If the studio was sending over extras from a typical Hollywood casting agency— I shuddered. Please don't let them send in the clowns. Los Angeles is such a closeted town. Women are so uptight about their femininity there— as a native, I can tell you it's the plastic surgery and dieting capital of the world. It would be hard to find extras who looked like liberated dykes.

I called Larry again and asked if they could find it within their budget to let me bring down a handful of authentic babes from San Francisco who would make our set really look a lesbian joint, instead of a juice bar. They said yes— thank you Daddy! We spent all day shooting that barroom scene, but it looked just right in the final cut.

The first time I saw Bound was in front of 1500 delirious women and a couple hundred very curious men. I arranged for the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Film Festival to host the premiere of the movie in the Castro theater: a grandiose art deco movie house that still has an organist rising out of the pit pounding the keys with, "San Francisco, Open your Golden Gates." You feel like putting on your opera gloves and raising a glass of champagne before you enter the theater.

Larry, Andy, their wives Thea and Alise, assistant Phil, the film's editor, and our illustrious extras arrived to the entrance in a white limousine. I was squeezing Larry's and Andy's palms so tight they're lucky to still be able to hold a pen. Everyone in the house had heard that I was the "sex consultant.” I think they imagined that meant I stood over Gina and Jennifer with a riding crop, snapping, "Deeper, harder, a little to the left!"

The festival director introduced our small mob onto the stage, and I put on my most radiant smile. Some idiot from the festival's sponsoring advertisers got up to the mike to plug why "Everyone should buy an Isuzu SUV". He was filled with all that new gay marketing rhetoric, and told the packed house with utter seriousness that the new Isuzu was the top choice among today's lesbian automobile shoppers.

I thought I was going to lose my mind with such tackiness before our beautiful film's debut. As soon as he walked off the stage, I grabbed the mike, and said, "I don't know about you, but most lesbians I know are still taking the bus."

The crowd went crazy— (was that our first standing ovation?)— and after that, every single moment was like a dream come true.

The movie looked like butter. The actors were on fire, the audience picked up every erotic cue and innuendo, and they screamed just like I had a year ago in my kitchen, turning the pages. When the end came, they exploded in a orgy of gratitude. I thought we were going be carried out on the crowd's shoulders.

Larry and Andy said they made up their minds to never watch the movie again after that Castro premiere, and they've stuck to their decision. They said it couldn't get any better, so let it be the finest and last memory of the audience who completely and utterly "got it."

I'm more of a glutton, I'm afraid. When the movie finally opened in my home town, I took nine different field trips with my friends. I watched it with my dad, I watched it with my daughter's first grade teacher and her husband. I watched it with my ex-girlfriends, who I must say provided as much of my consulting wisdom as anything else you could mention.

I'm so filled with femme-fucking-pride, I'm ready to burst. But here's the thing, see, I'm bisexual— and I think those romantic scenes in Hollywood boy-girl epic are awfully tired. They don't know what they're doing, and they think "HBO" is as hot as anything can get. Snore. Give me a call, boys. I know there 's a thousand directors with a healthy budget in Hollywood right now, ready to shoot their much-anticipated sex scene and dreading every moment of it. I 'll make you feel a whole lot better, Mr. Director. This will be the part of your movie that folks will talk about forever. You don't even have to give me a cameo. Just let me get my hands on the words.

That's Gary with Orson, then Gina and Jennifer in a promo still from Bound, and finally below, a polaroid of me on the set before my big cameo with my one-word line: "Hello." Didn't Marilyn start that way too?

November 29, 2006

Pass the Porn, Popcorn, and the Crazy Doctor

Cigarette_girl_1 I've watched a lot of movies since my dad died. —Make that piles and piles and piles of movies.

I get hooked on multiple DVD television series that lay me to waste. Can I be taken advantage of in this position?— yes, if you can get to me before the Ambien kicks in.

Some recommend yoga, therapy, and fresh air to help the bereaved. Of course I agree, and I'll devote myself to them... after my next episode of Prime Suspect. For the moment, join me, in the dark flickering light:


HOUSE, MD (Season 1 and 2)

Yes, you'll want to bed everyone on this show, but not before they run a diagnostic differential, plus a B&E into your apartment, to discover that you're dying from complications of gold poisoning, early adopter's lumbago, and undiagnosed syphilis. I loved it when the polygamous couple was killing each other! This is like Sherlock Holmes set in a teaching hospital, with flesh-ripping mysteries and blistering reparteé.

ANNA, OBSESSED    

This was one of the first porn films I ever saw on the big screen at the Pussycat Theater, and perhaps the most shocking erotica I've seen to this day. It's been reissued on DVD, and if you want a break from peppy, metronome-like smut, take a walk down this dark alley.The plot is tragic, the sex is rough, the psychology will rake your every nerve. If you like porn noir, this is your evil moment! They don't make it like this anymore. Also features genuinely beautiful people without plastic surgery.

BLEAK HOUSE  

Lather up, people!— it's BBC Dickens. Murder, orphans, and Gillian Anderson's sexual guilt.

DOWN TO THE BONE

Depressing, but mesmerizing. An unsentimental look at a working class mom —(shoulda won an Oscar for Vera Farmiga)— with two kids, who decides to kick her longstanding coke addiction. No Betty Ford frills are forthcoming. This is what rehab looks like, and it's remarkable to see it without the Hollywood guss. Our heroine becomes lovers with one of her nurses, a guy who used to be a junkie. Guess who falls off the wagon first?

THE WIRE: First, Second, & Third Season 

Okay, this is the antidote to the pitiful state The Sopranos has descended into. Start with Season 1, and continue on, uninterrupted, with no other social engagements except inviting your friends to come watch with you.

The acting, the writing, the politics— it's like you want to just wrap it up in a big red bow and say, "This is how it's done." 

The Wire concerns a wiretap on a longstanding drug operation in Baltimore, but its tale reveals the damage done to every aspect of city life, from kings to puppets. Definitely post-Dickensian.

There are also many crushes to clench your thighs over. I watched a ridiculous BET variety show just to see