Susie Bright's Journal

The Musical Inspiration for My New Book: The Erotic Treasury

Name that tune, you say? Okay, now name the erotic legend that goes with the tune...

I have a new book out for the holidays, a fancy-pantsy slip-covered hardback called X: The Erotic Treasury, with forty stories from my favorite erotic literary fiction authors.

I asked all my writers, "What song would you like to dedicate to your story?"

Twenty-three of them answered— fiends like me, who invoke a lyric to every new inspiration!

Above is my "jukebox," where you can hear snippets of all the songs.

Below is a list of all the stories, with the title, author, song, and synopsis.

I loved doing this... it gives me another insight into what each author was thinking as they twisted the short and curlies!

1.    Wish Girls
        by Matthew Addison

"Wished for You" by the Squirrel Nut Zippers

A boy grows weary of his two devoted fembots.

2.    On the Road with Sonia
        by Paula Bomer

“Freeway,”  by Aimee Mann

One mother's erotic road trip.. several months pregnant.


3.    Seagum
        by Corwin Ericson

“Barnacle Bill the Sailor,” by The Controllers

A fisherman applies a shocking gift from the sea to his lingam.


4.    Beyond the Sea
       by Susan DiPlacido

"The Girl from Ipanema," Getz/Gilberto

Beautiful con artist works washed-up surf star on last chance cruise.


5.    Night Train
       by Martha Garvey

“Take Off Your Clothes (For World Peace),” by Royal Pink

They got on at Broadway-Lafayette... and the rest is history.

6.    Electric Razor
       by Irma Wimple

"Good Vibrations," by American Black Lung

The potential of household appliances in one woman's life.

7.    Must Bite
       by Vicki Hendricks

“Monkey Man” by the Rolling Stones 

Stripper takes on a new husband with an exotic pet collection and a huge insurance policy.

8.    Loved It and Set It Free
        by Lisa Montanarelli

“Memories of Times Square (The Dildo Song),” by The Neal Pollack Invasion

(What a perfect, perfect, song- SB)

Two young women's night of debauchery have to cover up their misdeeds in a hurry.

9.    Comeback
       by Nick Kaufmann

"Magic"  by Olivia Newton-John

A broken down porn star gets one hell of a supernatural last chance.

10.    Parts for Wholes
         by Monmouth

“Cue The Strings,” by Low

A tender, painful, and pleasurable intervention.


11.    Salt
        by Bill Noble

“Food and Pussy,” by Dan Reeder (How did I never hear this before?-SB)

Two unlikely lovers set adrift off the Na Pali coast.


12.    A First Time for Everything
        by Rachel Kramer Bussel

“Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go!)” by Garbage

One woman's self-made bukkake party is no Martha Stewart affair.


13.    Fairgrounds
         by Peggy Munson

 "Carnival,” by Bikini Kill

A trio of outlaws and crips take their sex act to the carnival grounds.

14.    Broads
        by R. Gay

“Angel,” by Massive Attack

A guy who doesn't think he stands a chance with a certain kind of woman finds he has a physical gift he didn't realize.

15.    God’s Gift
         by Salome Wilde

“Big Bottom,” by Spinal Tap

A legendary Rock Star is reincarnated beyond his wildest sexual imagination.

16.    Red Light Green Light
         by Shanna Germain

“L'il Red Riding Hood,” by Sam the Sham

A tourist takes a turn in a brothel window in Amsterdam.

17.    Puffy Lips
         by Susie Hara

“Flamenco Tangos,” by Manuel Salado

A dare at a bar goes one step further than either lover expected.

18.    Gifts from Santa
         by Tsaurah Litzky

“Jingle Bells,” by Duke Ellington & his Orchestra

That jolly ole' elf knows exactly how to get you off.

19.     Deprogramming

          by Greta Christina

"4'33" by John Cage

Two refugees from a charismatic religious cult know they have one catharsis left undone.

Watch the Cage performance here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HypmW4Yd7SY

20.       Yes

            by Donna George Storey

"The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News

Just how far you can take one dinner guest, one accommodating hostess, and one highly authoritative master of ceremonies.

21.    Cold Ass Ice
         by Chelsea Summers

"Hot Child in the City, " by Nick Gilder

A sweltering summer in an un-airconditioned apartment in The City can take one right past the point of no return.

23.   Rock of Ages
        by P.S. Haven

“Pictures Of Lily” by The Who

One young man's coming of age, thanks to rock'n'roll and his sister's unintentional inspiration.

24.     A Perfect Fit
          by Katya Andreevna

"I'll Be Seeing You," by Françoise Hardy and Iggy Pop

A last-minute trip to the shoe shop takes one customer into a fitting session she'll never forget.

24.     Clean Comfortable Room
          by Pam Ward

"Swordfishtrombone," by Tom Waits

What's a woman gotta go through for a decent room and a pack of cigarettes?

24.     Valentine's Day in Jail
          by Susan Musgrave

"If You Were Crying Over Me," by Rita Chiarelli

This autobiographical-based story was made into a film for the Canadian TV series Bliss, which is devoted to women's erotic memoir. Rita's song was used on the soundtrack.

Photos: Rachel Kramer Bussell hitting the bowl again, and P.S. Haven, coloring outside the lines.

Feel free to copy this post and its contents anywhere.

If you want the javascript to put my jukebox widget on your blog, just email me.

Lineage, and Snowflake Pudding

I was invited last week to discuss my lineage. What does that mean? The word sounds so pompous, yet intriguing. Is it where I come from, or what I leave after I'm gone?— or both?

The occasion to address the subject was a performance piece directed by E.G. Crichton and Lauren Crux, at a festival hosted by U.C. Santa Cruz's Art Department, called Intervene! Interrupt! Rethinking Art as Social Practice.

Our female audience, all twelve of us, were also the stars of the performance. It was a "private choreographed conversation," as E.G. put it.

One by one, we were led by tuxedoed waiters to a formal dinner table on a green lawn, and presented with embroidered napkins, each with a different question stitched into the linen.

We shared our replies in turn, between gulps of champagne and servings of snowflake pudding with raspberry sauce, a recipe from EG's mother. 

There were also some common questions, for all of us to address, which highlighted the tremendous difference in our ages (20-70+), cultural backgrounds, and sexual histories.

We never wanted it to end!  (See a photo gallery here).

This Memorial weekend, when one might appreciate a study in memory and lineage, I thought I'd  ask YOU the same questions!

Wanna play?

(These are personal queries, and if you don't feel like sharing your real name in the comments, just post a fake name, and fake email, like "anon@anon.com." My blog will accept such deceptions; you just have to plug in something into those boxes!)

I'd love to see your replies. I'll post mine as a comment too, so I don't distract you from your first, spontaneous responses:

The Hors D'oeuvres: Yes or No?

Do you come from a family of seven or more?

Have you ever had a close family member in prison?

Have you ever been disinherited?

Do you have possession of  family photographs from the 19th century?

Women: Have you never been pregnant?
Men: Have you never impregnated someone, as far you know?

Do you come from a family where two or more languages were spoken at home?

Have you ever written a will?

The Embroidered Napkin Questions:

What family secrets will be told?

What do you collect?

How had marital status affected your life?

What is your legacy?

What has been your favorite age?

What's a favorite photograph of yourself from the past?

When did you know you were a girl?
When did you know you were a boy?

What is your inheritance?

What is your relationship to the closet?

What remains invisible?

What is your most precious object, and what will become of it?

What is your lineage?

Who do you wish you could hear answer these same questions— whether dead or alive, known or not known to you?

Photos: This dessert picture isn't our snow pudding; it only reminds me of the taste and elegance of our occasion!  EG's documentation of our performance is archived at the GLBT Historical Society of Northern California, where Crichton is currently Artist-In-Residence. All event photos by Dana Ashton.

 

From Tight Sweaters to the Pentagon Papers

When my good friend, and mentor, Sally Binford, died in 1994, I thought I knew the entire story of her life.

Sally was one of the gate-crashing feminist sexual liberationists of her generation; I couldn't get enough of that! She was a great storyteller, and I loved to listen to her.

But sometimes it feels like you never really get to know anyone... until they're gone. They tell their story to someone else, and you learn something altogether new.

When Sally was 50, she decided to "live life to the fullest" and then arranged to "checking out," at age 70, regardless of her health. That was 1994.

That decision, to plan her own death, was my first experience with someone choosing their own exit without any, as they say, suicidal tendencies. She let all her dear friends and lovers know her intentions, and wrote a letter to  us the night before she said adieu.

Now, years later, I've discovered something more, a detailed story of Sally's life I hadn't heard before.

A historian and poet named Janet Clinger published a remarkable collection of interviews Our Elders, Six Bay Area Life Stories.

All the subjects of Janet's book are the kind of largely-unsung heroes who made leaps in American history that still take your breath away.

Sally, for example, is famous as an era-changing anthropologist, but her life as a feminist and sexual pioneer was perhaps, more revolutionary in her time.

From Sally's Interview:

“Not a Jewish princess”

“I was born in Brooklyn in 1924. My parents became upwardly mobile and moved to Long Island when I was nine. I was supposed to be a Jewish princess, but something went wrong. It never quite worked out that way.

"I went to a very small private school from fourth grade through high school. Played a fair amount of field hockey, studied a lot of French and Latin.

"When I was in the second grade in public school in Brooklyn, this little boy and I had a real crush on each other. We were caught passing notes back and forth. When the teacher came to dinner at our house, I remember hearing her and my parents laughing, their being so amused and snotty about it, because this little boy, whom I had a crush on, was Chinese. I was just furious. What was wrong with his being Chinese?   ....

Susie Interviews Paul Krassner for "Porn Soup"

Paul Krassner has a new book out that is a must for reading out loud on the train: "Porn Soup." He has so many great stories to tell about the Sex Wars and Chronicles.

I interviewed Paul for the introduction to the book:

Q. Paul, what's the story of the first "dirty picture" you ever saw?

A. When I was 11 or 12, my older brother, George, had somehow obtained nude photos of movie stars, like Rita Hayworth and Burt Lancaster.

"What are these for?" I asked.

"To give you a hard-on," he replied.

And so we started selling them for 75 cents each. Our parents never knew. In retrospect, it seems like destiny that I ended up writing a column, "One Hand Jerking," for "AVN [Adult Video News] Online" -- a slick magazine that serves as a trade journal for the vast, lucrative, Internet porn industry -- where the contents of my collection "Porn Soup" [available at paulkrassner.com] originally appeared.

Also in junior high school, my classmates were passing around these little (three inches high by four inches wide) anonymous, underground, eight-page comics, known as "fuck books," consisting of comic-strip characters, famous actors, sports heroes, political figures, traveling salesmen and notorious criminals -- all having sex, accompanied by vulgar speech balloons.

In 1997, Simon & Schuster published Tijuana Bibles: Art and Wit in America's Forbidden Funnies, 1930s-1950s. In an introductory essay, Pulitzer Prize-winning author Art Spiegelman wrote: "...This sort of psycho-sociological analysis is important, but inevitably sounds like a defensive ploy to inject Socially Redeeming Value into the concupiscent stew. Paul Krassner, editor of The Realist and, briefly, Hustler, aptly insisted that 'appealing to the prurient interest IS a socially redeeming value.'"

Q. You were a child prodigy at the violin...was there any erotic aspect to playing the strings, or learning that discipline, obvious or not so obvious?

A. I began playing the violin when I was three years old, practiced myself right out of my childhood, and didn't really wake up to my own existence until I was six, onstage, playing the "Vivaldi Concerto in A Minor," in the process of becoming the youngest concert artist ever to perform at Carnegie Hall. There was nothing erotic about it.

However, the next year, I saw my first movie, Intermezzo. It was also Ingrid Bergman's first movie. She fell in love with her violin teacher, and I fell in love with the background-music theme, the song "Intermezzo." I couldn't fathom why it just felt so good to hear this specific combination of notes in a certain order with a particular rhythm, but it gave me such pleasure to keep humming that sweet melody over and over to myself. It was like having a secret companion. Now THAT was an erotic experience, not to my genitals but to the depths of my soul. I couldn't wait to tell my violin teacher that I wanted to learn how to play "Intermezzo." But he obviously didn't share my enthusiasm.

"'Intermezzo?'" he sneered. "That's not right for you."

His words reverberated in my heart. "That's not right for you!" How could HE know what was right for ME? This wasn't merely a turndown of my request. It was a universal declaration of war upon the individual.

Q. So many people have a Deep Throat or Linda Lovelace story. I washed her car, for a few bucks, parked up the street, when I was in high school. My first acid trip coincided with seeing her introduce Deep Purple at a monster rock fest on a desert racetrack...What's yours?

A. Deep Throat inspired me to write a little book, Tales of Tongue Fu, a New Age media satire about a man with a 15-inch tongue [which has just been re-published by Ronin Press]. In this fable, Tongue Fu sees the movie and considers Linda Lovelace to be his soulmate because her clitoris is in her throat.

Q. And really...have you ever been in a porn film?

A. No, not that I know of...unless, of course, there was a hidden camera in the room.

Q. What is the best drug, in your experience, to accompany sex? The worst? I asked a group of older folks once, about their favorite combo, and they said: Pot and Espresso.

A. The best enhancer has always been marijuana, combined with LSD, and later on a terrific aphrodisiac called MDA -- which would have been distributed in America by one of Charles Manson's victims -- and, more recently, good old Ecstasy. I was once going to be in a threesome with two ex-girlfriends, but we had all ingested Quaalude and fell asleep. That turned out to be the worst.

Q. Are you jealous, or have you been attracted to jealous lovers? What is your masochism tango on the Monogamy question?

A. As for jealousy, I only experienced it when I felt insecure in a relationship. And I was distracted by jealous lovers who kept needing reassurance. As for "masochism tango," well, that's a loaded question. I'm totally pro-choice about abortion rights, drug use, ice-cream flavors and sexual practices. So, in my life, there have been times when I've enjoyed promiscuity, other times when I've enjoyed celibacy, and currently I'm enjoying monogamy with my wife, Nancy, not because of any wedding vows we took -- obviously, marital vow-taking has never prevented adultery -- but rather because it's my choice.

Q. When you were a kid, who did you think were the "sexiest" stars?

A. Ann Sheridan was an actress who became my first fantasy babe.

Q. How did that change, or not, as you grew up?

A. Later it was Brigitte Bardot. And the latest was Halle Berry.

Q. Women often say, when asked why they were attracted to a man, that "he was funny, he made me laugh." Not so many men would answer that way when asked about a woman's appeal. What do you make of that?

A. Well, virtually every man I know is attracted by a woman's sense of humor. Personally, I find it almost inextricable from physical attraction. Occasionally, in fact, when a woman has made me laugh, I've actually gotten an erection.

Q. Did you ever give your daughter sexual or romantic advice? What was the result?

A. Her mother, Jeanne, took care of all that stuff. A few years after our marriage broke up, when Holly was seven, I moved from New York to San Francisco. We stayed in touch by mail and phone, she would stay with me on her school vacations, and I would come to New York a few times. She came to live with me for a year when she was 11, accompanied me on a shamans and healers trek in Ecuador when she was 15, and lived with me again for a few years when she was 17.

When Holly was 10, on one of my trips to New York, I took her and Jeanne out for dinner.

"Mommy told me all about sex," she confided in the restaurant.

"Oh, really? What did you learn?"

"Oh, she told me about orgasms and blow jobs."

I blushed. They laughed.

One evening, when she was 16, Holly called me.

"Hold on a second," she said, then held her phone to the speaker of her stereo, and I heard Carly Simon singing, "Daddy, I'm no virgin, and I've already waited too long...." Then Holly hung up quickly. I began to laugh and cry simultaneously. I was laughing at the creative way she had chosen to share this news -- my generation had avoided communicating with parents about sex altogether -- and I guess maybe I was crying because I never got any when *I* was 16. The sexual revolution had still been just a horny dream back then. Now I was delighted to see its legacy in action, yet I also felt a certain vestigial resentment. "Why, these young kids today, they just don't appreciate the joy of YEARNING." I had to be careful not to let the memory of my own blue balls turn into sour grapes.

When Holly visited me for the Thanksgiving holidays that year, I teased her, "Did you bring your diaphragm?"

"Oh, Daddy," she responded, "even if I fall in love with someone, it doesn't mean we have to go to bed right away."

She had found her own place on the spectrum between abstinence and promiscuity.

The Sex-Positive Librarian Will See You Now

A couple weeks ago I invited my friend Steve Harsin, who works as both a librarian and a rare-book dealer, (not to mention blogger!) to come help me catalog and appraise my late father's library.

Finally, you can see the fruits of our labor!

We cataloged a couple thousand titles on my beloved Library Thing so far— use the tag "Bill Bright" to see everything of my dad's.

I decided to sell some of the collection, and set up "Bill Bright's Library," a rare-book storefront on Amazon.

If you are into Native languages, indigenous culture, Beat poetry, writing systems, Indian anything—East or West— botany, zoology, mushrooms, printing presses, California history, Sanskrit, typography, Aztec codices, missionary tracts from the Conquest, or the queer Berkeley literary scene of the 1940s... oh boy, are you in for a treat. I feel like locking myself into my room for a decade and reading every single one.

Steve and I worked on the books side-by-side for seven days, furiously typing and shelving. He told me so many great stories about public library patrons— either trying to FIND a sex book or trying to KILL the sex books— that I asked him to join me on my audio show to talk about the lengths people will go to the exorcise their sexual curiosity and demons at the public library.

Listen to Susie and Steve: LINK

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Get a month of my audio show for free: LINK

You all know how I feel about librarians being the ultimate-freedom-fighters, and Steve, with his great knowledge of banned books, is one of my inspirations! Take a look at his famous Banned Books and Censorship Resources site, that he created with colleague Karla Petersen.

Steve has worked with a lot of small-town, Midwest, and Southern library systems. I bet you didn't know that in Minnesota, they had to bind Madonna's scandal-prone Sex book with ice-fishing wire to keep it intact.  Or what happened when a town of white folks went a little nuts over She's Gotta Have It... And, by the way, what does the Reference Librarian do when you ask them a sex question?

Also on this week's show, I share an autopsy report about a fundamentalist preacher who was found dead in an autoerotic "wet suit" mishap. There's something so odd about reading a coroner's report that includes personal item lists like: "watch, belt, tie, wedding ring, diving mask, dildo."

Is there any way to do "breath play" without fatal risk? Obviously, Mr. Closet is not here to explain, but I am!

Then, in the "Try This at Home" mailbag, I advise a young woman who wants to turn her boyfriend from sweet thing into a wild savage.

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 314, October 19, 2007)

Photo: After our book cataloging blowout, we rented a Mustang convertible and drove down Highway 1 to Big Sur—  the most fun I've had in WAY TOO long. What is it about taking the top off that makes you feel like you can do anything? We blasted the tunes and I go-go danced on the back seat. That's Steve in the driver's seat, Jon riding shotgun. Thank you, Steve!!!!!

Susie Has Tea with the Empress: Betty Dodson

Betty Dodson is 78 years old and has handled— and counseled— more clits and pussies than anyone. Ever.

Since the 1970s, Dodson has been the prima guru of women's masturbation, but really, she's changed the world several times over with her assessment of love, sex, and art.

On my audio show this week, Betty and I discuss why she hates the G-Spot, how to make granny porn, why anal sex is so great when you're post-menopausal, non-monogamy as essential evolution in a relationship, and her memories of when her mom in Wichita asked about her clitoris.

Oh yeah— and why "boohoo doesn't happen anymore" when you get to be her age. All I can tell you is that I sure feel like crying when I realize I won't get to talk to Betty every day for the rest of my life!

Susie talks with Betty Dodson, Masturbation Guru: LINK

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Free Coupon for a month of Susie's show: LINK

 

In other news, I start off the show talking about the sale of Good Vibrations to the General Video group, the ultimate irony in contrasts. Good Vibes started off in the 70s as the mission of a feminist sex therapist, and General Video goes back the 1950s origin of the  "Adult Books" stashed in the back of cigar stores.

I talk about some of my favorite moments from the golden age of Good Vibrations that will, uh, NEVER happen again! The Robert Crumb/Dori Seda vibrator bondage shoot for Weirdo, for example.

Actually, I have memories of General Video and the high mob drama of the Sturman empire that will never happen again either! I need to write more about this...

Finally, in the "Try This at Home" mailbag, I read a letter from a young woman who describes her kinky road to coming of age.

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 313, October 12, 2007)

Photo: Susie purrs at Betty's pad, May 2007, shot by Veronica Vera.

Penetrating Gay Porn with Jeffery Escoffier

This week on my audio show is part two of my discussion with sex historian Jeffrey Escoffier. We blurt out gay film secrets, discuss why straight male porn stars enjoy queer sex, how to achieve the perfect double-penetration shots, and the manner in which exhibitionists get ahead in the film industry.

Listen to Susie and Jeff's interview: LINK

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Get my In Bed audio show free for a month: LINK

 

Jeffrey wears many hats, but one of his most distinguished is as the editor of a reference book I use on a weekly basis: Sexual Revolution. It's a collection of the seminal (and ovulastic!) documents of modern sexual liberation: Susan Sontag’s "Pornographic Imagination,"  Al Goldstein’s notorious review of Deep Throat,  Anne Koedt’s classic "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm," Norman Mailer’s "The Homosexual Villain," Helen Gurley Brown, Lenny Bruce, Erica Jong, Lawrence Lipton, Masters & Johnson, Betty Dodson, Gayle Rubin, Timothy Leary, Henry Miller, Huey Newton, Sigmund Freud, Simone de Beauvoir— whew! I find new gems to mull over every time I read it.

Finally at the end of this week's show, in the "Try This at Home" mailbag, I get a letter from a listener who finds cheap thrills on freeway overpasses, and right in the middle of her dental checkups. Sexual revolution is indeed a guerilla enterprise!

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 312, October 5, 2007)

A Mouth Like Mine

This week on my audio show, I premiere an excerpt from my new audiobook, The Best American Erotica 2007.

It was hard to pick which story to sample; they're all so good. I chose an excerpt from Daniel Duane's A Mouth Like Yours, read by the velvet Richard Brewer.

Yes, this is the same Daniel Duane who wrote one of the most compelling surf memoirs of all time, Caught Inside. This story is about a different, yet equally dedicated obsession!

A Mouth Like Yours: Listen

Next up, I talk with sexual historian and scholar Jeffery Escoffier about the beginnings of the gay porn-film industry, which in many respects defined modern American porn, period. Who knew... that Stonewall and Deep Throat were preceded by gay porn-makers who were unsatisfied with beefcake magazines and unrealistic portrayals of gay life?

Listen to my interview with Jeff: LINK

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Get a free month of my audio show: LINK

Jeff and I talk about perversity, porn chic, and straight guys who do gay porn. If you have any curiosity about the history of American porn, this is a must-listen. We'll do part two next week!

Finally, in the "Try This at Home" mailbag, I can't resist talking about another close shave— and I bet it won't be my last!

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 311, September 28, 2007)

When Kurt and Justin Met Debbie

Once upon a time, there was a very serious reporter for a very serious newspaper, who decided to investigate one of society’s scourges: the child pornography ring.

Two years after his exposés riveted the nation, it turned out the reporter had gone off the deep end. He’d paid his main source, become a webmaster at the very porn site he was investigating, lied and bullied anyone who questioned him, and had all but ostracized himself out of a reporting career.

But it wasn’t just him. The witch-hunters, bogeyman blamers, and moral-panic enablers— were everywhere. Our little reporter might have landed in deep shit, but the hysteria he milked became bigger than ever before.

Call him one of the most bizarre media offenders in the past two years of fear-mongering: Former New York Times and Portfolio reporter Kurt Eichenwald. He wrote two front-page stories on the subject of sex that won't be forgotten soon: Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World, and its followup, Child Sex Sites on the Run.

From the get-go, both stories were creepy: the softcore sexy descriptions, the “blame the internet” righteousness, the homophobic ick factor, and the unexplained implication that Eichenwald had looked at piles of this material himself, when by current law, he wouldn't have that right, no matter how well-intentioned his purpose!

Why did Kurt portray himself as an elite one-man rescue mission, and why was he so lurid in his crusade?

It didn’t smell right.

Victorian Sex with Sharon Marcus

This week on my podcast I interview Victorian-age sexuality historian Professor Sharon Marcus, author of Between Women: Friendship,Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England.

Sharon's historical interest may seem quaint at first, but she was the funniest, more lucid observer of contemporary sexuality that I've had in my studio for some time.

"Women in Victorian England wore jewelry made from each other's hair and wrote poems celebrating decades of friendship. They pored over magazines that described the dangerous pleasures of corporal punishment.

"A few had sexual relationships with each other, exchanged rings and vows, willed each other property, and lived together in long-term partnerships described as marriages.

"But these women were not seen as gender outlaws. Their desires were fanned by consumer culture, and their friendships and unions were accepted and even encouraged by family, society, and church.

"Far from being sexless angels defined only by male desires, Victorian women openly enjoyed looking at and even dominating other women. Their friendships helped realize the ideal of companionate love between men and women celebrated by novels, and their unions influenced politicians and social thinkers to reform marriage law."

I ask Sharon why is today's society more prudish and bitchy about women's friendships then the high-laced collar Victorians. Susie and Sharon discuss if lesbian "marriage" was first born within the good-girl Victorian friendships.

Listen to the interview: LINK.

Listen to the whole show: LINK.

Get a free month of my audio show: LINK

 

Then, in the Try This at Home mailbag, I explore why one women's sex drive appeared to be killed by her birth control device!

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 310, September 21, 2007).

Midwest Teen Sex Show Rawks

Click To Play

The Midwest Teen Sex Show is my newly-discovered favorite TV show of all time.

After I saw this episode on "The First Time," which is their fifth in a podcast series— I wrote them a fan letter and asked for an interview.

The interview turned out to be questions put forth by my 17-year-old daughter, Aretha Bright, and couple of her friends, who range in age from 16-18:

QUICKIES

How old are you?

Nikol: We are all in our twenties.

What's everyone's name? Are you using your real names?

Our real names are in the credits.

Nikol Hasler
Britney Barber
Guy Clark

I, Nikol,  host the show. Britney plays a variety of characters.

Where ARE you all?

Britney and Guy are Chicago area, while I'm about an hour north of them in southern Wisconsin.

Do you like to fuck a lot, is that part of your motivation?

I think I can safely answer for all of us that we do rather enjoy boinking.

BASICS

How do you all know each other?

Guy and I met during our senior year of high school. Seven years later we reconnected and while I was lamenting about never having done anything cool he told me he needed a host for this project. Then he placed an ad for the "funny, sexy, girl" actress. Luckily, Britney responded. She really livens things up, and her humor matches ours perfectly.

How did you get the idea to start this?

Guy wanted to do a podcast and noticed a few years ago that there weren't any shows quite like this one out there. If the content was aimed at teens by adults, it tended to be as dry as Aunt Gerdie's chicken. There was a huge difference between this and the actual teen forums out there.

Really, what were you like when you were teenagers?

I was that girl who partied too much and had a new boyfriend every week. I spent a lot of that time moving around to different foster homes and I never quite found an identity. What I am saying is, I was flippin' cool.

Nikol, do your kids like being in your movies? How old are they?

Pelham is one, Ayden is seven, and Trast is nine. The older two love being in the show, even though they only know that basics of what we are talking about. The baby is the one to watch out for. Pretty soon he'll be writing up demanding contracts. He seems the sort.

Will you come out to California and be my BFF?

Only if you don't tell my other BFF. She'll make me give my half of the BFF heart necklace back.

What do you do when you're not making the Midwest Teen Sex movies?

I go to a lot of cub scout meetings, various music lessons and sport practices, and I have a full time job managing the offices of an online vegan company. I also cook a lot, write a lot of short stories and poetry, and teach creative writing workshops to teens.

You are so cool. if you had the money, how would you expand what you're doing? Where do you want to go with this?

It is really hard to be this cool. If we had the money, Guy would buy actual lights and a decent tripod. We'd get Britney off the meth, and I'd have a masseuses on set.

We'd like to continue making the podcasts, but expand our audience, and make enough to cover our production costs. While our show costs are nothing compared to traditional media, it does take a lot of time and effort to produce.

It'd be a lot of fun to do the Midwest Teen Sex Traveling Show, getting into local communities to do live shows for young people.

Is there a way I can help out what you're doing? How do I get in on your scene?

Tell everyone you know about the show.

Subscribe, for free, to our podcast so the numbers become even more impressive.

Donate money to our project.

Do you know a lot of teenagers? You must like teenagers- why?

Hellz ya. I'm down. (Do teenagers still say "down"? Or is it dizz-own?)

The teens I know vary from babysitters, to the students I teach.

There is an invincible spirit to being a teen. You're still smart enough to know that while everyone may have felt the way you have before, it is still important that you feel that way.

Adults shove that stuff away. We plod through the dramatic moments of life without the proper fanfare. We smile too tightly in our family photographs. So much of the time we are faking it. You think those plastic high school girls are flaky and cruel, until one day you are grown up and you find yourself tempering your answers to people in hopes that they will provide something that you need.

I like teenagers because they are still learning to be adults, yet they have the sense to still be children.

How old were you when you lost it? What was your first time like?

We're all saving ourselves for marriage. We'll let you know.

Have you ever been "abstinent"?

Yeah, when I'm not doing it.

ABOUT SOME OF THE EPISODES

"The Older Boyfriend"

When you're a sixteen year old and you're going to comm college, all you got is college guys to choose from anyway, so lighten up... Losers are at BOTH high school and junior college, there's no escape.


Fair enough. I don't know a whole lot of teenage girls going to community colleges, and I must stress that for every situation there is an "if".

What if a guy doesn't know how old you are? And you don't know right away how old they are? If they're between 16 and their early 20s, it's not always so obvious.

Doesn't this come up? I think it really should be one of the first things a boy and girl discuss. And if it isn't, by the time you decide you are going to date or sleep together, well before that condom is out of the wrapper there are a lot of things you should know about the person. I remember that a lot of older guys I dated when I was a teenager would tell me how mature I was or how old I looked and I ate it up. Like a lot of things that horny boys will say, it was all a line and the arrow pointed directly to my panties on their floor.

I'm not going to date a 30 year old, but there's gotta be some leeway here. If you know how to watch out for yourself, it depends on the situation....

Like I said, there is always an "if", an exception to the rule. But in general, I stick to my belief that older boyfriends or girlfriends are not the answer at a time when you are trying to figure yourself out.


"The First Time"

You said, "Don't expect the first time to be good;" I kinda disagree. Physically, yes, it might be stupid, but emotionally, it can be really incredible. It's not always about the physical part.

True. My intent was physical with that one. Often the emotional build up to the event can result in wondering what all of the hype is about, especially if you don't know your body well enough or trust the other person enough to say what you want them to do.

I like positions where the guy does most of the work. I don't like the performance pressure...

Lazy ass.

You don't have to use a swing or try froggy style, but you need to move around some. Keep in mind that the other person is feeling just as much pressure to be good at this sex thing. Use positioning less as a way to impress the person you are having sex with and more as a way to hit all the spots that feel the best for both of you. The more you are enjoying yourself, the more the other person will get into it, too.


"Female Masturbation"

I want B— (a girl not present) to watch this... I'm gonna show this to about five girls I know, who really need it... It's one thing for your girlfriend to tell you it's a must, but it's another when a whole group of women are telling you it's okay, you should go for it.

Yeah. B—, listen up! You don't have to be loud about it, but there is something so cool about knowing you can get yourself off. It is also a great time to fantasize. You can think about the craziest things while you are masturbating and you never have to share them with anyone. Or you can. And it can be really cool.


"Gym Class"

That "all-girl" shower scene was fucking hilarious... are any of you REALLY bi?

Yes…Guy is fluent in Portuguese and English.

CRITIQUE

You're great, 'cause you've got the "happy healthy, you-go-girl thing, but you're also snarky when you make fun of stereotypes...

I am the snarkiest when it comes to the sad stereotypes that I once fit snugly into. It is a form of belated self deprecation. Plus, the snarkiness works for us.

It's "informative" but it's entertaining, that's what works.

There is a lot of pressure to make it more informative, since it seems to be reaching a lot of teens right now. I think it was around episode three that we realized how quickly things were moving, and our earliest contacts have been from sex therapists and professionals. It is disarming in a way. We have to keep the entertainment going, but I can see now that I need to devote time to giving important information as well.

I'd rather watch your episodes than read a book, unless it has pictures.

I wish emails had pictures. And not the kind that take forever to load.

I need a whole bunch of new aunties; please come to California.

I am the worst auntie ever. I am a total strict bitch to my nieces and nephews, and I am always giving books as presents. We are coming to California. We'll be at the New Media Expo at the end of this month and the Sex Tech Conference in January. We heart California.

Don't be afraid to be funny, don't let the "serious" people get you down. Don't stop, more, more, more!!!

No chance of us giving in to the serious people. Each time a joke gets poked at we think of another that may offend even more.

I hate the part on your site where it says: If you're under 18, you need permission....
That blows. Really. Didn't like seeing that. The people who NEED to see this show the most, CAN'T ASK. Duh. They aren't getting the cutesy-pootsey safe stuff, either. Why did you put this shit in there?

I thought you got our humor. Guy didn't put that warning in there by accident.

Plus this shit is what stops us from getting sued. You want us to keep going? You deal with the parental permission warning. Use that time to make some popcorn. Popcorn goes well with MTSS.

IDEAS FOR YOUR NEXT EPISODES...

Why aren't there any teenagers in your movies? Are you going to? If a whole bunch of teens were doing what you're doing... it would be gutsy.

Sammi Dittloff, the other girl in the shower scene, it technically still a teen. I know that as time goes on we will have more of a chance to work with teenagers. For right now, our cast is limited to whoever is around to help when we are filming. Wait for us to get more established.


Where do you stand on porn vs. erotica? What is your definition? Don't wuss out!

Porn! Okay, I got over porn a while ago. An "older boyfriend" of mine used to stare at it while we had sex. It put me off. To be honest, porn is boring to me. The only kind I really like to look at is the extreme stuff, and that is just for the shock factor. As for porn vs erotica, I was not aware they were battling. Is this on PayPerView? Ahem. Porn and erotica help us form an idea of fantasy. As long as a person can draw the line between a fantastical situation and reality, it is totally healthy. Did I wuss out?

You need to DO MORE about locations for fucking, where can you get it on. What about your own bed? How could you leave that out? Where do you get some privacy?

No. You need to do more. Comment, dammit. Comment on the site about your best places to get privacy. Help us help you.

I hate to say this, really, but okay: Parents. Dealing with them. Cool Parents. Not-cool parents. Parents who have no boundaries, are always in your business.

Cool parents can be just as bad as the not cool kind. I am a cool parent and my kids already resent me for it.

Eventually we will find a way to do an episode on parents, but for now I am going to say something parentish. You have no idea how f%$*ing hard it is to raise your ass and still stay human.


Something about... LOVE. Seriously. Love and sex. Hooking up vs. relationships!

One of our recent emailers touched on this very thing. They expounded on the idea that kids are learning about sex long before they are learning about relationships.

While this is a beautiful profound statement, I think the real problem is that kids are getting misinformation about sex and being taught a cold way to distance themselves from all of the relationships in their lives. These two things hand in hand could be catastrophic.

Forget the "older boyfriend," what about the deal with the YOUNGER boyfriend? The boyfriend where you feel like you're his second mommy?

Every boyfriend, you mean. And every girlfriend. Are any of us perfectly suited for another? You learn to stick with what you can handle and try to be honest about what you can't.

Well, it's kinda boring, 'cause it's been done to death, but something about... body image, cause it's fun. Do something everyone hasn't said too much.

Body image. We touched upon it  in our Gym Class episode. We will definitely have an episode focused just no beauty and self-image, just give us some time to hit the gym.

Kink? Kinky sex?

Define kinky. We'll get into fantasy and role playing and toys and such, but one person's kink is another's Sunday morning.


Oral sex... this is a must. Techniques, and participation, Theory, Guys vs. Girls. 69. The whole thing about guys getting more blow jobs more than girls get licked. That needs to be busted wide open... Yeah, we need the "We Are Entitled To Be Eaten" show.

We're on it. Doing research and stuff. Lots of research.

Okay, Susie, former teenager, has bonus questions:

SB: I was always asked, from the time I was pregnant, "What if someone tries to take your kids away for what you do?" -Meaning sex education, being outspoken about sexual politics.

And how did you respond? Did you let the askers know that the real crime is in withholding?

I just hate that there is a criminal element which is applied to speech about sex. I maintain a level of honesty with my kids. They ask me questions about sex from time to time. I think about it and will answer them honestly, unless I feel that a topic is way over their heads.

Because I am so honest with them, when the time comes that I tell them they are not ready to know about something they trust me.

Also, the Debbie Downers say, "What if your kid grows up to a conservative and hates everything you do?"

I have three kids. I expect at least one of them to become the Alex P. Keaton of my nightmares. I welcome it. I want my children to decide who they will become. At the same time I am teaching them to respect who the other people in their lives will become, too.

 

Do you work tight off a script, or improv— or how do you write your show?

We start with a show concept. Usually Guy, Britney and I email ideas back and forth.

Guy and I will make up little cards about what I am going to say, then we spend hours recording that four minutes you will see.

Britney doesn't use the cards, but she and Guy talk about the characters she will play.

After filming, Guy spends a lot of time sorting and editing, usually to determine that he wants something more, at which time we try to soothe him until he shoots additional scenes. Once the final cut is ready we get an email and wait to see how it is reviewed.

Were you raised religiously? How did you get over the prude factor?

Having been raised in 17 different placements, I have had the honor of being able to decide what is right for me.

Leonore Tiefer Takes the Pill Out of Our Mouths

Can a potent pill, the "perfect drug," solve your sex problems? Why not? What is the post-Viagra landscape of sexual science?

This week I talk to Dr. Leonore Tiefer, who has a great deal to say about the medicalization of sex—  and also a bit why she is completely exasperated with me, when it comes to addressing desire discrepancies.

Interview with Sexologist Leonore Tiefer, Part 1:
LINK

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Get a free month of my audio show: LINK

 

Also, on this show, I review the survey from Archives of Sexual Behavior that compiled some 237 reasons that college students listed for why they have sex. (I pooped out after #132).

Then, in the "Try This at Home" mailbag, I give advice to a listener about how to date when you're still living with your ex because of the impossible real estate market.

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 308, September 7, 2007)

Susie Interviews The D.C. Madam

When the D.C. Madam calls and says she wants to talk, who wouldn't want to listen?

Today, my special In Bed audio interview is with Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the escort service proprietor whose phone records have set Washington DC on fire.

She's not done with them yet. Whoever decided to take on Ms. Palfrey had no idea what they were in for— she is not one to tremble or apologize.

I don't think Jeane has ever been interviewed before by someone from the sex work field before, as much as some network anchormen may protest.

Listen to Susie's interview with Deborah Jeane: LINK

Read the interview transcript at 10ZenMonkeys: LINK

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

Get the show free for a month: LINK

And as if that wasn't enough excitement, in the Try This at Home mailbag, a listener asks: "I'm a woman who just rolled out of bed with my best gay male friend— how rare is that?"

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 308, August 24, 2007)

Tristan Takes Me Off the Bottle

This week on my In Bed audio show, I talk with award-winning author, columnist, and pornographic film director Tristan Taormino.

Smart Ass Productions, Taormino's sex film company, has a new sex education series that Tristan is proud to say breaks every rule.

Like... a cunnilingus movie that actually does that one thing: going down, and how to do it.

I know this may shock Captain Obvious, but there has NEVER been a sex-ed movie like this. Every other "eating-pussy" how-to has thrown everything in but the kitchen sink because they couldn't figure out how to creatively and expressively pay attention to this. one. thing.

Tristan and I also talk about how to make an education film that doesn't look like an industrial short, female squirting, and what's happened to gay literature since we first started reading it.