Susie Bright's Journal

2008 is Going to Be So Good

Photo: Terese Jungle

Notes on Cunt

One of the biggest sex stories of the year— which many decried as the most repulsive— was child-star-turned-dissolute-divorceé Britney Spears, who flashed her waxed vulva for all the world to see.

The world however, hasn't been able to pry their hands from their face. The peek-a-boo set is, for once, too scared to look.

My photograph on the left is not Ms. Spears— it's a friend of mine. I wish Britney could have been as unapologetic. I wish her audience could have been cunt-positive. Neither is remotely the case. But let's unveil this one slowly.

In Bed with Susie Bright 276: The Year's Top Sex Story

Listen to excerpt.

The phenomenon of celebutard coozie flashings was remarkable, but the depth of analysis was sophomoric. Why?

Was the fury on account of Britney torpedoing her "I'm a Republican Goody-Two-Shoes" career? Nope, she can get in the back of a very long line on that ticket. Was it Hollywood, the star-making suicide machine? Alas, the spectacle of child exploitation in show business until they disintegrate into narcissistic toy-adults is all too common.

The real shock, the bit no one mentions, is that even though everyone is informed, through reading, about Britney's crotch shot, relatively few people have looked at the evidence. The majority haven't seen, or want to see, what all the fuss is about.

Go look. Remember to remove all the whore/madonna crap out of your mind, and tell me what you think about it.

Without the slightest feminist or artistic design, Spears has changed the public perception of what a mother-of-two's sexuality might be all about. Here she is, showing you her bare cunt, and a vulnerable cesarean scar that couldn't be obscured by  otherwise careful makeup.

The picture has an impact, regardless of her delusions.

"But why should I peer at such a thing?" you might protest. "It's vulgar! It's sad! I'm above all that!"

Oh, bullshit. Have you ever looked at titty pictures for the hell of it? And speaking of vulgarity, who flocked to Saddam's hanging video, or clicked on Abu Ghraib's tortures? That was far, far more popular than Brit's twat.

There's no need to list extremes. What about reality TV— squirming is a national pastime!  And who wouldn't pass up a picture of Justin Timberlake's hard cock if it happened to be captured from the Mickey Mouse Club bathroom? Many of us will voyeurize everything, and still hesitate when it comes to a photograph of a woman's genitals. 

There is something about the sexual and creative center of a woman's anatomy that is beyond the PALE of our comprehension. We just can't hack it!

Sure, Britney's hoo-hoo has gotten plenty of internet clicks, but not NEARLY as much traffic as any of the incidents I listed above.

If you do go to the forums where people are looking and commenting on BS's photos, they are all men. Each one of them debates how disgusting her vagina is, and just how desperate you'd have to be to fuck her. The disdain and condemnation for her behavior is beyond anything I have ever seen on any subject. Bush never got it this bad, nor Clinton, for that matter.

In the printed news about Britney, we hear of her "inappropriate behavior" as a euphemism, while the actual deed is obscured. She is said to drink, pop pills, snort powders, pass out in public, commit sartorial murder, lather in promiscuity, be the worst mom ever.

But GOD FORBID you should mention she has a cunt, and that she showed it without any foreplay, tease, or a million-dollar payout. Playboy centerfolds are fainting from the disgrace of it all. Ms. Spears simply opened the door of her limo, then did the same with her legs, and let the cameras go nuts.

Why is THIS act the last straw? A shot of a man's penis, flaccid or erect, never destroyed him. People might think it's funny, interesting, sexy, or bizarre, but not a condemnation to hell. You can see Daniel Craig's cock in his popular movies, and he's  been elevated to Bond.

Britney Spears, or any female public figure, cannot reveal her uncovered mons without a wholescale public attack. It wouldn't matter if she was a brilliant actress or avant-garde philosopher. When it comes to this anatomy, where the pleasure comes in— and the babies come out— our culture is in cardiac arrest. The fear and loathing crush any reality check.

"What about hardcore?" you may ask. Yes, porn is the exception, but even there, we see a transformation. Beaver shots are not "in" anymore, as they were for one brief moment in the 70s. Aroused cunts are not the focus— it's tits, bouncy butts and shaved anuses, gigantic cocks, denuded holes, and fantastic open mouths. When was the last time you saw an X-rated picture promoted based on cunnilingus or any kind of cunny-worship?

Furthermore, the hair issue has been turned upside down. It used to be that pubic hair denoted modesty and mystery, the allure of the enchanted forest.

Now, a single hair is thought of as unclean. By waxing everything off (which shaving alone cannot accomplish)— and following up with bronze makeup from waist to knees— you achieve a Barbie Thing. It's a a desexualized "clean" look, as Britney's stylists put it. If it wasn't for Spears' birthing scar, and the curve of her thighs, you might miss her element altogether!

I have nothing against shaving or waxing per se— it's all quite fun until the hair grows back in! I appreciate seeing the "sculpture" of a woman's cunt, and how it's mature, not like a young woman's. Most people don't even know that— that your coozie grows up. I once published one of Tee Corinne's self-portraits of her shaved vulva in On Our Backs, and the magazine was banned all over the country for being "child porn." The censors don't even know what a 35-year-old woman's genitals look like, and how different it is from a baby's. The ignorance is stupendous.

I'm not trying to be obvious. I'm exhausted with the usual rhetoric. It's not that anyone should shave, or not shave— pose "commando," or wear long-johns. Yes, Britney is a mental health train-wreck, and yes, there are far more important things that should be on the front page of the newspaper. All of those things are easy to say.

My beef is this: the toxic taboo around women's cunts, clits, and the whole furry circle is so over-the-top that it goes beyond celebrity scandal or pleas for modesty. Our conservative culture has made a fetish of women's sex as "dirty" beyond compare; a sin and a revulsion above all else. Of course I could write a book about this, and many others have. Like Inga. Or Laura. Or Betty, Tee, or Joani. Somebody please send Brit copies.

The ultimate disfavor of the anti-cunt clamor is that women get the impression that there is something terribly wrong down there. So wrong it can't be spoken plainly, let alone looked at.

The club-girl commandos like Paris, Lindsay, Tara, and Britney have done us all a very weird favor. They have degraded feminine "virtue"— thank goodness. By making a cunty spectacle of themselves, they have inadvertently triggered consciousness that, in a subversive context, taps the right note. They might not understand a pussy-pride backlash— they may deny, regret, and wring their hands— but the clit-fix is in. I'll look forward to a sober, in-your-face replay.

In my mailbag, I follow all this up by offering some timely advice to a woman who worries her boyfriend will be grossed out when he goes down on her. See what I mean?

Top photo by Honey Lee Cottrell, and middle photo from Tee Corinne, both published with many awesome others in Nothing But the Girl. A wonderful fan sent me the CuntFire Girls logo, but I have no idea who created it! Please tell me if you know!

This story is one of our Top-10 most popular posts! If you've found it valuable, enjoyable, or beneficial— or just a great kick in the pants— consider making a small donation.  I'd love you to be a part of our latest schemes...  Subscribe for $5/mo. or donate what you can afford now— and I'll send you a Clits Up! button and my latest book/movie/whatever I'm up to! Thank you so much... Susie

The Top Ten Stories of Susie's Year

Lies, damned lies, and statistics. But I do love them so!

I was fascinated to learn from my stats provider, BlogLog, about the most popular stories published here at my humble journal.

My hottest links are  skewed toward the end of the year, because my blog readership has tripled this fall.

Why? I'm a poster girl for the natural curve of blogging— if you keep at it (two years being a turning point) and you post daily, the worm turns.

1.  That's Right, You're Not From Texas, Sodomy Loves You Anyway

What's not to like? Molly Ivins in prime form, dildo details you never dreamed of, and the Texas State Legislature in a rare form that would take Mark Twain's breath away.

2.  My Cartoon Blow-out

I thought I was being a sentimental, self-indulgent diaper-baby to post all my nostalgic cartoon favorites, but apparently a lot of us are sucking on the same tit! This link was also wildly promoted by the new browsing tool, Stumbleupon, which I had never heard of 'til I wrote this!

3.  Penthouse Letters Are Real, Grand Theft Auto is Not, and St. Louis, I Do Mind Dying

This is one of the best-written stories I ever posted, and I'd like to think it was my skill and poetry that shot it to #3.  However, it's more likely a hit because I interviewed the woman, Lavada Nahan, who worked for Penthouse for more than a decade and was shut in a room with one million unopened sex letters and told to spin them into gold!

4.  The Best Spaghetti You Ever Had

This just goes to prove that sex bloggers and their readers are the biggest food sluts you ever met.

5.  Sneak Preview of Best American Erotica 2007: The Lolita Backlash

Well, wait 'til you read the whole thing! I look forward to interviewing many of the authors in the coming months.

6.  Four Things You May Not Know About Me

Okay, here's a fifth thing: When my alarm clock goes off in the morning, this is what I hear: Carolan's Welcome. I got this album from the musician himself, James Kline, busking in front of the San Francisco Farmer's Market, and my lover recognized him from playing on the streets of Sienna!— years earlier! I'd love to see him again and kiss his feet.

7.  Esther Perel Musses the Marriage Bed

This is one of the best interviews I've ever done for In Bed, thanks to Esther's tour de force extemporaneous analysis of why married people stop fucking and then don't understand why.  The whole interview is posted for you to listen to.

8.  Egg Sex

My story of my sex life— physical, emotional, political— during pregnancy and childbirth is one of the most popular stories I ever published, long before blogging. I'm eggstatic it found a new audience here.

9.  BlogHer Sex Survey Results

The square business press portrayed the first woman's blogger conference as either a bunch of hard-bitch geeks, or "really nice pretty girls that you don't have to be scared to talk to!"  Yawn. I found it to be the coolest pool party and hands-on change-the-world party I'd been to in a long time. And of course I had to give a sex survey...

10.  The League of Amazing Latkes

I want some more right NOW.

My potato pancake recipe was followed in popularity by a blistering polemic by Dan Savage, my G-Spot Fraud Detection Squad, and the index of all my posts on photography.

I happen to think my photographic art babble is right up there with Susan "Dyke" Sontag on Hash, but to my dismay, I think my link gets mega-hits because there's some nekkid people in the illustrations.  It's a huge hit in the United Arab Emigrates, surpassed only by Kansas.

Thanks again to Steve Ho for the stats that made my head spin. Tomorrow, I'll post the top ten places you all came from! Glorious illustration of Mark Twain by Ralph Steadman.

Clits Up Photo Contest

Okay, who's got a camera? I need some very cute, irresistable pictures taken of my new Clits UP! button.

UPDATE, morning of August 17:  I got all the button/photo requests I can handle right now! Thank you so much! In a few weeks, I should have some great photos to post, and then I'll buy a whole bunch more buttons to distribute. So don't cry if you missed Round 1, because I'll have more within a month.

There's something about the size of it that makes it JUST RIGHT. —Small but powerful.

When you wear them with friends at the same time, on white t-shirts, it makes you look like you're in a cult. What could be better?

I've seen some snapshots of my new design, but the focus is too far away to see the button properly.

I also want to see the message on people's bodies/outfits—their lapel, their breast, their fetching whatever— but the button has to be "readable."

If I had the right picture, I could post it here in my blog and promote my world clitoral- domination schemes! You understand the urgency, of course.

I don't know how many of you will reply to this, so let's say I have enough for the first twenty folks who respond!

Closeup from Ariel. This photo does a great job of showing the button text, but you can't see how adorable Ariel is wearing it. My conundrum.

The Erotic Photographer Unmasked

I'm "in bed" this week to interview my old friend, photographer Phyllis Christopher, one of the original genies of women's erotica.

Phyllis is the evil mastermind who took the famous picture of me a mud mask and curlers, tied to the bed, surrounded by dirty magazines and god knows what else.
We had so much fun making a pictorial of "A Day in the Life of a Sexpert." (See below in the left sidebar for the photo!)

In Bed with Susie Bright 255: Sexy Stuff with Phyllis Christopher

Phyllis eventually became our photo editor at On Our Backs, in the early 90s, but I remember the first time I received a package of mysterious S&M photos from an unknown woman in Buffalo, more than two decades ago.

In this interview, we talk about what inspires her, from butch goddesses to unrepentant women dropping their drawers in public places.  You can check out her erotic photography  at your leisure so you can see what I mean! Her work takes my breath away.

Finally, I asked Phyllis to help me take on a tough letter from a listener who wants some advice on getting over the death of his loving and sexually adventurous partner. I greatly appreciate receiving that question, because I always wanted to talk about that particular taboo: grief and sexual yearning.

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for Susie's girly cards to susie@susiebright.com. (Episode 255, June 30, 2006)