For those of us who who are devoted to the American tele-novella Mad Men, the recent psycho-shooting at Ft. Hood had an eerie plot echo.
(Spoilers ahead).
In Mad Men, which takes place in New York of 1963, there's a fictional character named Greg, an aspiring surgeon who disgraces himself so badly in the operating room that he is forced to go into, shame of all shames, psychiatry.
Since I've placed my life in the hands of a therapist more than once, this reaction came as a surprise to me!
Yet among Greg's colleagues at the hospital, the psychiatry career path is considered a "fail." The deep background on Greg is that we already know he is a messed-up dude, a rapist with serious issues who is the LAST person you'd want to be talking to on a couch.
As the season closes, we learn that Greg has joined the Army where they're desperate enough to take a loser like him and give him a surgeon's scalpel and a badge.
He's so ignorant he doesn't have a clue that Vietnam is his imminent destination.
Meanwhile, in real life, Nidal Malik Hasan, the deranged Army psychiatrist who went on a shooting spree at Ft. Hood, also turns out to be… a failed surgeon. The detail that caught my eye was the anecdote revealed by his uncle, who said that Hasan went into psychiatry after he FAINTED in the O.R. during a routine childbirth. The sight of a baby emerging from a woman's vagina sent Nidal over the edge.
With that clue, something in me snapped.
This was a guy, who by all accounts so far, has never been on a date, and routinely complained to his mosque's imam that he couldn't find a woman "pious" enough to marry, a virgin who would wear a veil around the clock.
Hassan is being scrutinized for any potential ties to espionage, fanatical religious beliefs, and vicarious PTSD from treating so many broken soldiers.
But this man's craziness is more clearly understood in the context of his severe and distorted sexual repression.
In the midst of this reality-fantasy convergence, another piece of patriarchal-creep rocked the country— this time, affecting more people than Ft. Hood and Mad Men's viewership combined. We witnessed the Orwellian "health care reform" process become derailed by what I call "The Stupid Amendment," a wildly successful Vatican intervention to make sure that whatever health care plan comes out of Congress, it will be engineered to control women's wombs.
In other words, health insurance for men, not for women.
The Stupak Amendment is ostensibly about preventing women from using their insurance coverage to pay for abortion procedures. But making a rule that women's healthcare below the waist is subject to moral review is outrageous.
Would any of these politicians consider making a health care exemption to the complications of a man's penis? His prostate? His semen? His scrotum? His urethra? Would urologists, like abortion surgeons, be treated like criminals whose entire knowledge base should be wiped out of existence? Would any man be put on parade to prove "rape, incest, or imminent death" in order to prove that he needed a procedure about ANYTHING?
"Pro-life" rhetoric is now used across the aisle, with even the President proclaiming that the federal government will never fund abortions.
Afghanistan annihilation, yes! Abortion, no!
Our war-lovin', misogynistic culture cares so little about "life" that the candlelight vigil for the Hasan's victims at Fort Hood had the air of a rote exercise. Here's Wade Goodwyn, from NPR, talking last week:
The thing I was struck by was... that the vigil was a well-established routine.
I mean, this was a pretty big moment for me, but I could tell that the attending crowd had done this before.
And when we interviewed people, the soldiers and the families, after the vigil was over, they'd tell us, "I've been to too many of these already."
This country cares little about killing all life forms and even less about the welfare of its children. Our atrocious infant mortality rates, hungry children, uneducated children, children with birth defects and developmental disabilities treated like trash… my blood's turned cold. Watching Congressmen gleefully cheer on the passage of the Stupak amendment, for me, was like watching Greg rape Joan— and worse, to witness her acceptance of it.
American boomerangs from "Fear of a Black Planet," a Youth Revolt, a genderfuck coup, to the opposite horror: that of a lone man with a big gun.
Meet the older, privileged, "had-all-the-opportunities" kinda guy who comes equipped with a bomb, no dates, and a pathologically self-centered attitude. Oh, we'll wish he had only been in the Crips! If only he'd been a drag queen, if only he'd pierced his dick and gotten high on dope! Any of these would be preferable, a million times more humane.
We can diss a counter-culture, but what are we supposed to do with a counter-human? We can't stand to look at the cult of alienated masculinity and wonder how we got here.
June 02, 2009
Terrorism and the State: A Lesson, Again, for Right and Left
“Those who contemplate artificial terrorism with uncritical admiration, even attempting to practice it—either out of despair or because they are victims of the propaganda the regime propagates in favor of terrorism as the ne plus ultra of subversion— do not know that they are only competing with the State on its own terrain. They do not know that, on its own terrain, not only is the State the strongest— but that it will always have the last word.”
-Gianfranco Sanguinetti, On Terrorism and the State, 1979
Just as Situationist Gianfranco Sanguinetti warned that the that acts of terrorism always reinforce the powers of the State — that State power and terrorism are mutually symbiotic
and dependent on each other— the North American Religious Right is
going to suffer great losses as a result of last Sunday’s terrorist
act in Wichita.
The assassination of Wichita doctor George Tiller, ushering at his own Lutheran church service, was the second attempt on his life. The first attempt came on August 19, 1993, when a woman named Shelley Shannon wounded the doctor, who specializes in late-term abortions and fetal abnormalities, in both arms. (Shannon served an 11-year sentence for that crime.)
That, this time, the assassination attempt succeeded, and that it happened in the sanctuary of a church of a mainstream Protestant faith, will provoke a double whammy of shock and revulsion, including among tens of millions of Americans that do not like abortion, but likewise believe that assassination is obviously just as (or more) anti-life.
The original assassination attempt on Dr. Tiller came eight months into the Clinton presidency. The parallel with today’s offense ought to be obvious: a pro-choice president takes office and the violent extremists go all crazy, whipped up by some of the same right wing radio talkers today as sixteen years ago.
The predictable knee-jerk response from some in the pro-choice majority will be to attempt to demonize and link all Americans that define themselves as “pro life” as aiding and abetting this act of terrorism by having a mere opinion, just as George W. Bush and others attempted to link all oppositional dissent to the attacks of September 11, 2001.
While it is an absolute certainty that the Obama Justice Department will investigate and prosecute this latest crime - and criminal - to the maximum extent of the law, those that want to, like Bush, demonize dissent itself are not going to get much rhetorical backing from the President. Obama's May 17th remarks at Notre Dame University are now prescient:
A few days after I won the Democratic nomination, I received an email from a doctor who told me that while he voted for me in the primary, he had a serious concern that might prevent him from voting for me in the general election. He described himself as a Christian who was strongly pro-life, but that’s not what was preventing him from voting for me.
What bothered the doctor was an entry that my campaign staff had posted on my website – an entry that said I would fight “right-wing ideologues who want to take away a woman’s right to choose.” The doctor said that he had assumed I was a reasonable person, but that if I truly believed that every pro-life individual was simply an ideologue who wanted to inflict suffering on women, then I was not very reasonable. He wrote, “I do not ask at this point that you oppose abortion, only that you speak about this issue in fair-minded words.”
Fair-minded words.
After I read the doctor’s letter, I wrote back to him and thanked him. I didn’t change my position, but I did tell my staff to change the words on my website. And I said a prayer that night that I might extend the same presumption of good faith to others that the doctor had extended to me. Because when we do that – when we open our hearts and our minds to those who may not think like we do or believe what we do – that’s when we discover at least the possibility of common ground.
That’s when we begin to say, “Maybe we won’t agree on abortion, but we can still agree that this is a heart-wrenching decision for any woman to make, with both moral and spiritual dimensions.
So let’s work together to reduce the number of women seeking abortions by reducing unintended pregnancies, and making adoption more available, and providing care and support for women who do carry their child to term.
Let’s honor the conscience of those who disagree with abortion, and draft a sensible conscience clause, and make sure that all of our health care policies are grounded in clear ethics and sound science, as well as respect for the equality of women.”
An assassin in Kansas has inadvertently strengthened the hand and command of this head of State.
A similar dynamic will come into play as did on April 19, 1995, when a terrorist car-bombing of the Oklahoma Federal Building killed 168 people, and wounded 450 more, including children in a day care center there.
That terrorist act- the man convicted for it, Timothy McVeigh, believed he was avenging an act of State terrorism two years prior in Waco, Texas- returned the upper hand to an already embattled President Clinton. His Democratic Party had lost the US House in the 1994 elections to what then-Speaker Newt Gingrich’s called his “revolution” of the right. The Oklahoma City bombing shook public opinion enough to considerably slow what had been, prior, a juggernaut's momentum by the Gingrich revolution, allowing Clinton to again claim the terrain of the political center.
"The murder of Doctor George Tiller is an abhorrent act of violence,
and his family is in our thoughts and prayers at this tragic moment.
Federal law enforcement is coordinating with local law enforcement
officials in Kansas on the investigation of this crime, and I have
directed the United States Marshals Service to offer protection to
other appropriate people and facilities around the nation. The
Department of Justice will work to bring the perpetrator of this crime
to justice. As a precautionary measure, we will also take appropriate
steps to help prevent any related acts of violence from occurring."
In 1962, Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy sent US Marshals to
the University of Mississippi to protect its first African-American
student, James Meredith, from segregationist rioters.
"Americans are
free, in short, to disagree with the law," President John F. Kennedy
said in a nationally televised broadcast, "but not to disobey it." In
1963, the Kennedy administration sent US Marshals into Alabama - and
put the Alabama National Guard under federal control - to tell
then-Governor George Wallace to step aside from a university door in
which he had been standing to block two African-American students.
That today’s atrocity occurs not under the helm of an embattled liberal president, but of one that enjoys 67% support, still, from the American people, will have even more devastating consequences for the cultural and political right that has placed abortion at the center of its agenda.
There is no need to demonize them with a broad brush for it. The first immediate consequence of the assassination of Dr. Tiller will be that it virtually removes the political points to be scored by those who planned to wage an anti-choice argument against US Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.
I would also be surprised if, in the coming days, some right-wing radio talkers and those from anti-choice organizations like "Operation Rescue" can’t help but make the sorts of outrageous statements about this act of terrorism that shock and provoke backlash from the American public.
As a crew, they have already whipped themselves up into a mental state of frenzied derangement. The countdown now begins to find out which will shovel their own political graves over this one.
Cue up Randall Terry, founder of "Operation Rescue," to step right into this tragedy with inflammatory rhetoric. He told Associated Press:
"George Tiller was a mass murderer and we cannot stop saying that,"
Terry said. "He was an evil man — his hands were covered with blood."
Terry said he was now concerned that the Obama administration "will
use Tiller's killing to intimidate pro-lifers into surrendering our
most effective rhetoric and actions."
Terry was already a very self-marginalized fringe player, but,
still, he knows not isolation like that which he has brought upon
himself and his organization now.
Dr. George Tiller spent much of his 68 years on earth working for an ideal– every woman’s right to safe reproductive freedom– for which he paid the ultimate price. I believe that if the good doctor could watch what happens next, he would not at all feel the sorrow that comes from dying in vain or after a life without meaning. His was a life that did not end in death, but lives on with even greater purpose and reason than it already had deservedly accrued.
As we say South of the Border, where we have many martyrs - old and new - for human freedom: George Tiller, presenté.
From Al Giordano's blog, The Field, with kindly permission of the author.
Drawing: DaVinci; Graffiti: Warsaw, 2002, photographed by William Rubel
The bagels are here, I'm wearing my "Vagina is for Lovers" t-shirt and pajama bottoms— I am READY for LIVE-BLOG-INAUG-ACTION!
—Watching Laura Bush's plastic frozen smile walking down the hall... holy shit. These people must not be able to go out for gas without a cloud of contempt following them everywhere.
The arrivals are so much more interesting than I expected. Did you see Ted Kennedy? Just made you cry to see him walk in, unaided, his same "let's get this done" walk. And meanwhile, Dick Cheney arrives in a wheelchair!
Lately I've been watching these costume dramas about the English and British courts of ye olde days,and this arrival/fashion parade has that same continuity-- the royalty display, the people's eyes upon them.
Okay, so my friend Jill just said Michelle is wearing a dress the color of her new "batter bowl—" but Jill! My dear, this color is the new Pantone Color of the Year; it's called Mimosa; it's sort of India Yellow, which you see on vivid display in Slumdog Millionaire.
Oh my god, here's REX. It's Obama, but he's not smiling and his eyes are RED. We're all screaming, "He's on the bong! He's been crying! He hasn't slept!" C'mon he can enjoy this! He thinks he has to be solemn, oh no, I want him to realize this is the one day he can really just have a WHALE of a time!
It's happening! How many people are here? How many showed up in previous inaugurations? You can see, I am way behind on my research. I know that for the first time in history, all the CAMPSITES in Maryland are booked up for the winter months.
Check out the big bulletproof glass screen.
And here comes Di-Fi. This is her party, she organized it— if you don't like the place-mats, you know which office to go to.
Rick Warren... I hate it already. I hope everyone understands at this point, it isn't just the sex thing, the gay thing; it's EVERYTHING. He is a deranged apocalyptic Baptist-rhetoric charlatan. And here's the new twist today: he's bombing on stage.
Speaking of phony, he's being introduced by Diane as a "Doctor." Now he is talking about FATHER, and how everything comes through his mumbo-jumbo. GOD THE FATHER loves everyone in his Mercy... that's his first gay-bait. Don't want any of your "mercy," you big-check hustler.
Now Warren's talking about how god made it possible for a black man to become president. How patronizing. Now god is going to give Obama wisdom, 'cause we can't expect him to think for himself. Heavens, bless-bless, American commitment to FREEDOM... do you want fries with that? Forgive us, oh Great White Father... fuck you, RICK WARREN!
Did you hear Pastor Gene Robinson yesterday, by comparison?
As for his prayer to a "God of our many understandings," Robinson said that was entirely deliberate. He told the Union Leader that he'd researched previous inaugural invocations and prayers and found them to be "aggressively Christian." He preferred a more inclusive route: "All I could think about when I read them was, 'My goodness, what does a Jew think hearing this? What does a Muslim think? What does a Sikh or a Hindu think?' Having been not included, as a gay man, in so many instances, the last thing I want to do is exclude any American from this."
He wanted to include everyone, for real, not this Christian TeePee Soaking. Icky Warren is So Full of Himself. Hardly anyone is clapping.
Whew— Aretha Franklin is next. BEST HAT. The first notes... I have goose bumps.
Joe Biden just took a man's face and kissed him on the lips. Wow. He is so happy.
This classical quintet is lovely, and they are the COOLEST people, the most hip performers on stage thus far. They are so happy, and it just shines! Aaron Copeland would be so proud.
Justice Stevens just blew the oath script! How funny! Obama has to put up with all these white bozos who can't even get the door open! But at least Barack relaxed. He realizes he's doing fine... little Mr. Homework is ready.
I want one of those little cannons to blow things up in my front yard! I saw them for sale at Restoration Hardware last 4th of July.
My living room posse is toasting Obama now; we have champagne glasses in hand!
Barack speaks...
Uh oh, I'm already a touch let down. This isn't going to be charismatic.
I, for one, do NOT thank George Bush for his "service to this office." It was a very nice Hawaiian-style thing to say. Aloha and good riddance.
O. just referred to war, and how we are fighting a "wide network of hate." Brother, Please. We are "fighting" a historical tradition of imperialism, machismo, and bigotry; and someone needs to pull the plug before Mother Nature washes her hands of us.
Is O. going to lighten up now? He just talked about the horrible economy without pinning any blame on the banking donkeys. It's as if this disaster just "happened" to us, like a thunderstorm.
Oh dear...It's not a "god-given" idea that men are equal; Mr. President; it is an idea of revolutionaries, human beings who had democratic ideals they died for. One more word about God and I'm going to throw up.
Whoa, he just made a reference to Vietnam— Khe Sanh...
View of surviving Tuskeegee Airman... goose bumps for me again.
"We will return science to its rightful place—" that's my favorite line so far. I'm putting on my School Cap right now!
Now he's talking about how we're the friend of any country who wants peace... like there isn't anyone who wants that. He says we, the U.S., are ready to "lead" the world again.
Oh, no. I am so done with the U.S. bossing around the world. "Slaughtering innocents"? We're neck deep in blood! Now he's baiting Hamas. I don't appreciate this Hawk-Talk. This whole Gaza experience is a disgrace with our country's name written all over the white phosphorous.
Wheee... Barack makes his first shout-out to atheists, although he can't bring himself to say that word. The "non-believers."
"Humility" is the big word today; it's been said about twenty times. Is this Orwellian word play, or prescient?
Now he's talking to "poor" nations... You know, we are half-banana-republic right now. The education system is shot. The roads are crumbling. Everyone is sick. Our food is poisoned. Give me a break. You go to other countries and realize this superior air is a complete fraud.
There is so much more talk in Obama's speech about war and battle than I expected. And religion. I guess you can tell I haven't been to many inaugurations. Everytime he says something in "God's name," I cringe. I don't want his blessing, or God's blessing, thank you very much. Opiate of the People, baby!
I doubt anyone will say Barack did anything wrong on this speech—it will be well-regarded— but this was a crap speech for him, and nothing memorable. No special catch phase, nothing that built, no climax. In that sense, disappointing. His speech on "Race in America" during the campaign was much more meaningful than this.
Now for the poet: Elizabeth Alexander. There was a hue and cry among poets over her... it was the "Rick Warren" freakout in poetry circles. I don't know her; but she is not considered "transcendant" among the poetry people.
Uh, now I can see why.
Her poem is a Big Nothing. Boy, was that crap. Paging Hallmark Cards!
Didn't upstage Barack's speech, which is saying something.
Joseph Lowery! So small, hunched— oh my goodness, his voice is amazing. His very tenor is more moving than anyone who's been on stage so far. He is also appealing to God, but he is poetic, he is artistic, if this is divinity, I I don't mind! Go ahead, be a Christian, but thrill in your lyric, and you'll have me!
Wow, Lowery is by far the best speaker today. He brings the words to what we felt in the classical musician's performance.
Lowery is spelling out poverty, the dispossessed and exploited, the greed and chicanery. He is beautiful. He is giving the love speech, he is speaking to the love crowd, as Otis Redding said. We go now to walk together, children.... no shit. We've got to get ourselves back to the garden.
"When yellow will be mellow!" He's getting all HIPPIE ON ME, BABY!
Finally,someone we can love. Even Barack has broken into a real smile. This is the kind of Christian leadership, and poetry, we can get behind! Fuck it, this guy was the Stealth Socialist.
The Navy Choir, now? Their square version of "The Star Spangled Banner" is not what I need right now! Swing is needed.
Note: I am sitting in my living room for the former Conga Player For this same Navy Band, 53-57, Casey Sonnabend. He needs to be in this group, today, he is just the bop this group needs! Anchors Aweigh!
The camera pans the celebrities in the crowd again. Hillary is happy, closeup on her blond highlights and blue coat with the Bolshevik collar.
And then, a CNN shot of someone with a sign that says: "Obama Must Speak in Morocco! Peace Now!" Huh? I've always wanted to visit Morocco, though, so I will agree with this sentiment.
The Sunday concert and events were more inspiring, a real good cry, compared to today... interesting. More communing with the people with the artists, less lecture. Philosophical instead of pedantic. It was anti-climatic today. Does it have to be stuffy? Is that the requirement for such ceremonies?
AFTERWARD:
Cheney is being wheeled away like Dr. Evil. It almost seems like he's being driven away in the limo to the funeral home. GOODBYE, YOU PSYCHOPATH.
George is doing his Yale Football Cheerleader thing! He gets through this regalia by treating it all like a sporting event. Off they go to Texas, don't let the flight suit hit you on the way out. The helicopter is lifting off. Wouldn't it be great if "God" dropped a giant shoe on them right now? It's amazing that this much time is being spent looking at Bush's ass disappearing into the sky.
The signing ceremony: Left-Handers are sobbing everywhere.
Hey, you patient readers, I just ran over to publish all your comments. I definitely needed some staff for this project; I'm so sorry to keep you waiting! They're all up now. Now I'm going to go run to the phones and publish the phoned-in comments.
Bart Dollhead, with sound effects:
Steve Harsin, who should be on national TV instead of the usual anchormen:
Anonymous, you are such a sweetheart; thank you:
Jon; on the Christian Over-Arch:
Chance; Enjoy it, babe!:
---
Just heard news of Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd's sudden attacks... both whisked to hospital. This is seismic. The most eloquent men in our Senate, the last of a breed.
I have been shocked at Kennedy's ability to keep going, because the nature of brain tumors is that your "will" doesn't really come into it. The seizures are dramatic and the disintegration swift.
I believe Caroline Kennedy's interest in the Senate seat was set into motion by the impending death of her father-figure, Uncle Ted. I don't even think it's a matter of logic or grasping; it's simply that her grief over her father, mother, brother— and now uncle— leads her to do anything to fill this seat. Psychologically it "keeps them alive," and herself sane.
Of course, she's not the perfect choice.. although when you think of who's in the Senate, she's heads and shoulders above many. She's certainly no Ted or Byrd. But she is powered by these demons from the grave; this is how she is keeping her loved ones alive when the last of her immediate family is being extinguished as we speak. I have a dread that Mr. Kennedy will not make it through today.
Kimi; my girlhood sister-friend:
Todd; A Mighty Fine Day:
Mark; "The Best Thing Was That Helicopter Flying Away":
Reading Obama's speech brought one part into focus for me; this is the crux:
"For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace."
We've looked, we've puked, we've voted! The Golden Dukes Has Triumphed Again!
I love judging this contest, produced by my favorite political blog, Talking Points Memo. Thanks to everyone at TPM for allowing me to wallow in the wickedness.
Check out the winners in the video above, and read what the other five judges had to say, in detail!
Below, are my original voting notes:
Special Achievement Award
I would like to echo the TPM reader suggestion that Sarah Palin deserves an Achievement Award all to herself.
Not since Shirley Temple burst forth in “The Good Ship Lollipop” have we seen such a prodigious ingenue. Palin’s Gothic family life, Alaska-size fibs, unshakable corruption, lunatic religiosity— all in one gorgeous package made for TV... Can’t you at least send her a t-shirt?
And don’t ask for it back!
1. Sarah Palin, Uber Alles
Sleaziest Campaign Ad
The next time I go to San Francisco— or get an abortion— I’m going to whip out my spandex glitter pants and boogie on down to the disco floor Sam Graves concocted for his commercial against Kay Barnes. What a laff riot!
However, for prize-winning impact, I will choose the Elizabeth Dole attack on "Godless Atheism" as the ultimate barn-burner.
What makes her commercial extraordinary, beyond its slander to her opponent, is that it elevates “not believing in God” to the big-time in American politicking. That hasn’t happened in existential dog years. It was only 1961 that self-proclaimed atheists were allowed to sit on juries or serve in public office in every state in the union.
Atheists really ARE angry about Bush’s “divine mission”— and this commercial, in its foaming lunacy, proves that godless heathens are making an impact. As a recovering Irish Catholic, I couldn't be more thrilled!
The word “fib” indicates that one has some knowledge that the truth is being stretched, as opposed to pure cluelessness or the messianic zeal of the True Believer.
Hillary Clinton, therefore, is the only viable candidate in this category. I respect her enough to believe she knows she wasn’t G.I. Jane in Bosnia, but she has the political penchant for hyperbole and braggadocio. It was foolish of her to think she wouldn't get caught. Like Bush, she is under the impression that she is “pre-YouTube” simply by dint of her age.
By comparison, in this category, McCain doesn’t know if the economy is strong, weak, or needs more nutmeg. Palin gets special recordings from God slipped under her pillow— and deserves her own statuette.
1. Hillary 2. Mitty 3. Johnny
Outstanding Achievement in Corruption-based Chutzpah
The entire Bush/Cheney Kleptocracy has this one, dead to rights. What requires more chutzpah than to take a country right into the crapper to enrich a handful of your cronies? Dick Cheney’s recent “office-exit” interviews are mind-boggling. No remorse for the blood on your hands is what I would call the ultimate corruption.
Out of the TPM candidates, I’ll take Ted Stevens first, since he is the most powerful and wreaked the most damage. Rod is hilarious, but such an amateur— a dandelion fluff compared to Stevens. Give him a few years. I wasn’t aware of Edward "Naughty" Nottingham before this contest, but he’s irresistible trying to muscle a paralyzed woman out of her handicapped parking space. He reminds me of people I meet on the road every day.
1. Teddy 2. Roddy 3. Naughty
Best Scandal -- Sex and Generalized Carnality
We don’t have the quality of X-rated hypocrisy in this category that we enjoyed in 2007, with the trifecta of Larry Craig, David Vitter, and Bob Allen. Where are our Kinky Kristian Warriors this past year? Vanilla heterosexual adultery seems like kinda a snooze. But given what I’ve got...
I’ll hand the big Dukey to John Edwards— though not because of the insult to his wife, which was grievous but sadly ordinary.
No, people do terrible things when cancer hits their family— there should be a warning brochure on the subject. The enormity of Edwards' hubris is that he led millions of people on a wild goose chase as their chosen “progressive” candidate; he had a chance. And he thought that what the Democratic Party needed right now was a Presidential Philanderer? Is he on Clinton Quaaludes? If he had slapped each of his supporters in the face, he couldn't have done more damage.
I’ll take Gregory Smith next, as a run-of-the-mill example of how Bush’s policies and appointments destroyed any semblance of good government. What a disgrace.
I guess the fame of Eliot Spitzer gets Door Number 3, but I always take it for granted that the Top Prosecutors are embedded with Top Service Providers. I mean, who else can relate to them?
1. Edwards 2. Smith 3. Spitzer
Best Scandal Local Venue
This is my favorite category— and the most difficult to judge. Humor plays such a large role! If “Best” means “Best Buffoon,” I don’t know which Deadhead to pick: Mayor Funky’s wife with that unbelievable prostate exam Xmas letter or The Pisser from New Jersey.
Still, I give the Duke Award with more gravitas. If malicious destruction of working people's lives got a particle of respect in this country, then Bill Sizemore would be a household name. His union busting is extraordinary... does he think workers should be shackled to the wheel and given company script for canned goods? How despicable. He’s a crook, with a theology— and there’s nothing more dangerous.
I’ll hand Kwame the second slot, because of his Titanic disrespect and indifference to the tenacious citizens of Detroit, who’ve suffered more fools and plunderers than anyone should be asked to bear.
1. Sizemore 2. Kilpatrick 3. Funk by a hair
Best Scandal -- General Interest
1. Bush/Cheney 2. Bush/Cheney 3. Bush/Cheney
Everyone else is just playing “follow the leader.”
Who the fuck— many of you are asking today — is Rick Warren? And why is he threatening to stink up Obama's inauguration?
Well, Obama invited him. He invited this Billy Graham-pretender pastor to give the invocation at the big ball.
This is a guy who believes that every abortion is a holocaust, who thinks the Iranian PM should be assassinated by early this afternoon, who campaigned like Atilla the HUN for Proposition 8, and yet whines that he "has eaten dinner with gay people, so don't call me phobic."
My beloved Steve Benen at the Washington Monthlywrites:
After having had a chance to sleep on it, does Barack Obama's decision to invite Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his presidential inauguration look any better? Actually, no. I'm probably even more annoyed about it now than I was yesterday.
That said, I've been curious to see what others have come up with as a defense. I suppose, to borrow Rachel Maddow's phrase, I want someone to "talk me down."
I can't talk you down, Steve, and here's why:
1. The only reason this "invitation" flies at all is because anti-gay and sexually divisive bigotry is still considered palatable, while racial and ethnic bigotry is not.
No one can imagine a pastor being invited to speak at any Presidential event who'd made a career of racist invective— and then compounded it by whining, "I'm not phobic; I love all the little colored people!"
2. Warren has ALL the earmarks in his behavior that we saw with Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Bob Allen, David Vitter, Jimmy Swaggart, et al. Look at his history... where have you heard ALL this before?
If this dude isn't found in a bathroom with a wide stance and a hooker in the next year, someone's not doing their job. Paging Jeff Gannon!
I have a different nomination, if Obama would like to take a second look.
Of course, my first choice would be an The Giant Spaghetti Monster. But if you have to go X-tian for the inauguration, how about Reverend Angela Denise Davis, a black Southern pastor, graduate of Vanderbilt divinity school, who belongs to CLOUT: Christian Lesbians OUT: "proudly progressive, actively anti-racist, creatively spiritual, milagro-bound."
President-elect Obama's not making the big policy appointments yet...
But what if he did?
Bush put an affirmative action opponent— the former dean of the Pat Robertson School of Government (I wish that was a joke- SB) in charge of The White House Office of Personnel Management.
At the Administration For Children and Families, (that's the "faithbased" con racket you've heard so much about- SB) Bush named a man who spent a decade fighting domestic violence and child custody laws.
To come close to any of that, Obama would have to name sex radical Susie Bright for Health and Human Services, tree-sitter Julia Butterfly Hill for EPA. Dennis Kucinich for Secretary of State. Treasury? Jamie Galbraith.
Defense? Trumping the criminal warmongering of Donald Rumsfeld would take a pacifist lawbreaker way to the extreme of Cindy Sheehan.
...The playing field of government not only needs evening up, it needs total replanting by people with at least as much vision and oomph as those they're replacing— vision of a very different kind.
Thanks Laura— this made my day! I'm giving my "Sexual State of the Union Address" today in Portland, so it's the perfect day to devise my national agenda.
I realize that Laura's list is satiric, "as if" a Democratic administration would pick bold feminists, pacifists, or even Groucho Marxists to direct public policy.
But the reality check is this: we voted these suckers in. We didn't vote for Obama so that Joe Lieberman and John McCain would get a lollipop and more money to spend. There better be progressive changes in this next administration— or Mr. YouTube President is going to hear about it!
I'm popping open the Dom. And yes, I still want to take your phone calls and post your thoughts. Feel free to call me, if you don't mind me being slightly smashed.
UPDATE: I went downtown to celebrate... pretty rowdy for lil' Santa Cruz! And I wanted to kiss strangers, but some guy tried to high five me and smashed my little finger so hard it is... sprained. Gigantic. I am sitting here in ice typing with one hand. I guess I'll call it a night... more tomorrow from my bandaged headquarters. It's been such a great day hearing from everybody... MWAH!
8:00 PM: The TV dudes just called it. As promised, I tore off my clothes and ran out on the front porch and screamed my head off.
Melvin in Pittsburgh says it's like the World Series, your birthday, and New Years all at once:
Goin' crazy in Portland ME:
Peter Throckmorton heartily approves of my nudity even though he can hardly see through his tears:
Kat Sunlove has her mind blown:
Downtown Donna reminds me what a long strange trip it's been:
CS Lewiston is fanning himself:
Jackson is still holding his breath for Prop 8:
Sandy Stone wants to hear how how I sound slightly smashed:
John D'Addario is tearing the roof off the mothersucker in NOLA:
Elvira, New York is ecstatic:
Camille and John don't realize I'm opening up THEIR bottle of Dom they left here:
Douglas has a ONE NIGHT ONLY special on Sarah Palin's brassieres:
Greg pointed me to the essentialTalking Points Memo, for a voting day story that sums it all up:
"My
polling place is at the fairgrounds in Southern Maryland, about 40
minutes from Washington, D.C. This used to be tobacco country, but is
slowly being developed, or other crops are grown. We waited until 10:00
to vote, to avoid the lines.
"When we got there a 97-year-old
black man was being wheeled out of the polls in his wheelchair. It was
the first time he had ever voted in his life. When he came outside he
asked if anyone could give him an Obama button. There were none left at
the Democrat's booth so I gave him mine.
"He was so proud and I started crying. He looked at me and said, 'Why are you crying? This is a day for glory.'"
Beautiful slide show of Americans voting today at the Chronicle.. a real treat for those of us who like the story in pictures..
From Side Lake: Shelly says she voted for Obama, but is extremely proud of her Palin shirt, nonetheless.
We noted that her ill-fitting bra demonstrates a lack of support for Palin.
Oh this is rich:
Senator Orrin Hatch says that if Obama wins: "We're going to lose a lot of stature throughout the world because we have somebody who, though eloquent and a very nice person, who I like, who doesn't know what he's talking about."
Danny has a video you need for your Canadian travel bags!
Steve writes:
Okay, Ben and Jerry's is giving away ice cream, and Starbucks is
handing out coffee— but ONLY Babeland is offering free sex toys if you
vote!
Also a bunch of great progressive bloggers (like Glenn Greenwald and David Sirota) live posting on Salon here:
And I'm so watching the Daily Show/Colbert special at 10p EST tonight. At least, if I'm somewhere with a TV and Comedy Central—'Cause I don't think they livestream.
Susie says:
I am VERY impressed with the analysis and EXCELLENT map provided by the Times, which shows you exactly what counties, in what states, are the ones to watch for this election.
They take complex information and boil it down to the critical essentials. Plus they tell you what's going to go down, what will become clear, at 6 PM, 7 PM, and 8 PM tonight.
The Times has got their technology down tight, and oughta be a great place to watch the returns all day and night.
Although they don't say one word about "Race," it is impossible to review their map/audio data and not see that McCain's come-from-behind strategy is dependent on stoking "fears of a black planet" in areas of the country where the KKK still has bake sales. The Indiana example alone sent chills down my spine.
I was a labor organizer in Indiana, in the 1970s, with black and white steel workers in Gary and the same kind of diverse group of CWA phone workers in Indianapolis. I attended incredible feminist gatherings at the University of Indiana in Bloomington, where of course I also spent life-changing time at the Kinsey Institute.
But those areas, geographically, are the tiny, tiny blue corners of a state which boasts the national headquarters of the Klan. I remember my friends Bobbie and Fred, a black/white couple, packing a gun to go on drive to a picnic in Southern Indiana, without even thinking twice about it. The first time I heard the expression, "Free White & 21" was in Indiana, and I've never forgotten that. SO! When I look at the color coded maps, all the memories come flooding back.
I'd love to hear from you in any of the contested states today. Don't forget you can call me at 831 480 5110!
My Friend David's St. Louis Election Photo Album:
This is a city that has been so utterly abandoned by the nation in recent years, it just touches my heart to see the excitement of David's photos...
Do you need a small person to help you vote today?
Patrizia writes:
If you're a betting man and wanna lay your money where your vote is, the incredibly interesting gambling site, betfair.com, thinks Obama will win by a landslide, carring FL, OH, NC, and MO (by a smidge)— and losing Indiana.
Naturally I'm much too stupid to understand the bet ratios without the aid of big glossy colored graphix. None are provided for PA and VA, but if I'm reading the numbers correctly, it looks like they're predicting Obama will carry those states too.
Top Photo: Anna Schlabach and Cole Wengerd voted at Beck's Mill General Store in Millersburg, Ohio. Taken by Kiichiro Sato/Associated Press
If Debbie Can Do It in Heels and Chiffon, You Can Too!
I just ran for an hour until I was sweating out of every pore.
I'm going to need every last bit of endurance and endorphins today. It's a GORGEOUS sunny morning in Santa Cruz and I'm putting on my tiara and going to the polling place, with Jon and our 18 year old daughter— what an election to cast her first vote in!
When I get back, the live blog party starts here. I know we'll have the finest— and worst— of the media reporting today, but here at the "SBJ Hope Hut" you know you'll always find a welcome ear and plenty of hot chocolate!
If you want to CALL me and leave a message I can post on my blog, GO FOR IT! My number is 831 480 5110.
You know how it is with best friends. You're like family. My dear friend from high school, Tracy, comes from a big family that has always made me feel like one of their daughters. Let's call them the Carlyles.
The Carlyles are a gorgeous, gifted clan that settled in Oklahoma and California, the result of three generations of what used to be called "inter-racial marriage." —Polish, Polynesian, Japanese, Full-blood Native American, Scottish. Some of the kids are blond— and some got called "nigger" and "spic" growing up because of how bigots perceived their skin color. At the time their parents and grandparents got married, it was dicey for such couples to appear in public.
All the women in the family are married now, including my BFF, Tracy, who got married this year in California after living with her girlfriend and their son for the past ten years.
All the Carlyles are devoted to their churches. They each belong to different ones, some far to the left... and others Pentecostal. But they share a kind of Southern Christian enthusiasm about all their faith communities, whether they're praying in synagogues, temples, out in the redwoods, or at a clapboard pulpit.
Tracy's sister, Mary, is a Born-Again who is a round-the-clock activist to disenfranchise gay couples from their marriage rights by campaigning for California's Proposition No. 8.
I've known Mary since she was in the 6th grade, when she was just Tracy's "cute little sister." She was a first-class athlete, a model— exceptionally photogenic— and a hardcore surfer when most girls were just working on their bikini line. She loved rock 'n' roll, she had a super-hot boyfriend, and she wore flowers in her hair— just like all the other beautiful hippie girls in Southern California in the 70s!
Mary was perceived as "white"... a chick with a great tan. I don't remember her going to church. She wasn't political like her sister and I, but she smoked pot and thought killing women and children in Vietnam was wrong, like everyone else we knew. I remember we thought she was spoiled and superficial at the time, that she merely surfed while we were out protesting. But some of that snippiness could be chalked up to envy, and our perception that from a conforming feminine viewpoint, Mary had it all.
But something happened, after we grew up and left home. I don't know what she experienced in the pro-surfing or modeling worlds, but Mary... flipped out.
She is now a homeschooling mom with four kids and is a devout Yes On 8 activist, springing from her fundamentalist's church's directives. She will tell you with a grim look on her face that although she "loves" the homosexual, she does not approve of his actions, and God made marriage for a husband a wife, not for sinners. And yes, she includes her gay sister in this God-given rule.
I have no idea how to talk to Mary about this— and judging from what's going on in the family, neither does anyone else.
This is how weird it is: We buried her mother together a couple years ago. I held her in my arms, which is the first time I've done that since she was a little girl.
When Mary graduated from college this summer, we hosted a big party of her and her family, that her big sister Tracy organized. Mary said she needed financial help, so everyone ponied up cash into a little stuffed puppy dog basket. Tracy made a huge spread of food and organized the whole family to come out.
Mary allowed me, and the other bisexual and gay people at the party, to take care of her children all day, feed her, shower her with money and good wishes, pamper her husband, and attend to her every need. I didn't think anything of it at the time... I had no idea what she was doing back home. I just love the part about how God wants homosexuals to wait on you!— that's in the Bible, too, right?
When I came home, Mary sent me a Facebook invitation, and seemed to get a big charge out of having me on her "friend" list. She thinks of me as a celebrity, but apparently she would not sanction me getting married to a woman. She'd feel sorry for me, but she'd have to warn me I was going straight to hell. That's what Pentacostal love looks like, sweetheart!
The latest humdinger is that one of the liberal Oklahoma Carlyle cousins just wrote a Fuck-You letter to Mary, shaming her for being a bigot and a traitor to her family. Cousin Pearl said she'd put Mary "on a prayer list," which is like issuing a fatwah from her side of the pew. It tickled me, to see a liberal Christian chastising a conservative one, but it's unfortunately, a War of the Roses.
I agree with all Pearl's criticisms per se, but the way she said it: OUCH! Writing that letter has made things...worse.
You cannot shame Mary; she won't stand for it. She'll tear YOU a new asshole right back. Pearl's letter has fortified her belief that she is fighting the Lord's good fight against the heathens.
Mary has told us that she is closer to her church than her blood family. That's the ultimate rebellion in this brood, far more extreme than her gay opinions.
Tracy wanted "to agree to disagree," and hope that Mary would wake up one day and realize that the Preachy People are not watching her back. Tracy would not have written that letter. She misses her mother every day, and being close to her sister is the closest thing to that female intimacy in the family. Mary must have the same yearnings... so why does she push away?
I can watch those Fundie-tastic people on TV ranting about the evils of sex and sin, and think of all the rude things I'd like to say to them. It's easy to eviscerate them with logic. But when it comes to a family member, to the psychological grips of religion and the grief of abandonment, I am speechless.
I can't help but think someone like Mary is... crazy. The cognitive dissonance is petrifying.
I get the feeling that Mary was injured somewhere along the line, and we're still looking at the open wound, perverted as it is. *I* feel guilty that it might've been happening right in front of me, and I never noticed. Whatever it was, some preacher offered Mary a lifeline at the perfect moment when no one else was present. Now her transference is complete.
I don't believe her spiritual leaders, like James Dobson, give one cynical crap about her, but there is no way to get that message across in her current frame of mind. The one thing they have in common is that Dobson also believes homosexuals should "service" him, by playing the butt to all his political ambitions.
One day, someone Mary loves deeply, who's "gay," (I'm so weary of these labels) is going to die. Or one of her children is going to be gay. She is going to cry a river because it will became clear that her beliefs have been an unbearable cruel facade. Why do we have to wait for these kind of tragic events before the puritans have their "Come to Jesus" moment?
You see in the YouTube movie above, the life story in four minutes of a conservative city mayor (San Diego) who realized, after much heartbreak, that love really does make the world go 'round. Segregation and discrimination are not what you want to pin your legacy on.
It's so poignant to see the mayor's tears, but I wish he could've come to his senses before he was brought to his knees. What did he go through with his daughter, or his best friends, before he realized that human justice and the Golden Rule— in all its manifestations— are truly what it's all about?
I'd like to know if any of you are having these kind of estrangements in your family over Prop 8— or other initiatives like it. How do you handle them?
Okay, bitches— put down the puck and pick up the Cherries in the Snow lipstick... it's time to prepare your entry to my Sarah Palin Halloween Costume Contest.
I've already received photos from eager beavers who started parading around town in drag as early as two weeks ago.
Sarah-cudas, I salute you!
I certainly intend to wear my costume right into the polling booth on November 4th. I am still looking for a plush polar bear fur-suit that I could stick my better half in, so as to shoot him repeatedly with my SuperSoaker.
To refresh your Six-Pack memory, the Contest Deadline is Nov. 1st, midnight, to send me a photo of your creation. You don't have to be the model, but you do have to be "an integral member of the creative process."
Anything goes, content-wise. I am not looking for strict interpretations or coloring inside the lines. High concept, low-brow, bad porn star, wonky mojo, canned fruit, manga... YOU GO, GIRL-MONSTER!
There will be lots of prizes. I like to lavish praise on those who make an effort. Remember to send me your name, phone number, and email, too. I will call the winners on election day!
Meanwhile, I have a little last minute editorializing.
1.
I will be "live-blogging" the whole day of the election. I will not unstrap my laptop until the last chad falls.
2.
The tidal wave of criticism directed at Gov. Palin's ignorance, provincialism, mendacity, religious fanaticism, and entitlement— this criticism is TOTALLY UNFAIR in one respect:
George W. Bush was just as bad, and even worse, when he ran for President.
W. didn't know anything— and he'd never been anywhere. He thought he was God's Chosen Prick. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a wardrobe that far exceeds anything the Palin family will ever comprehend.
Yet at the time of his candidacy, the only people who criticized Bush for these qualities were thought of as snooty radicals, hopeless partisans. No one seriously questioned W.'s ability to be President, even though he as stupid and dangerous than Palin. The fact that he was a man, and the scion of one of America's ruling class families, spared him from the ass-kicking Palin's received since Day One.
The upper class conservatives of the GOP who've deserted the ticket in recent weeks, claiming Palin is beyond the pale, are only horrified by her lack of upper-crust credentials. W. was a Born-Again fool, and yet they found the stomach for him... because he was a pedigreed male heir. Palin is a bourgeois from the sticks. She wouldn't be invited to one of their dog shows, let alone their White House.
3.
There are no such things as "undecideds" in America... there are only citizens grappling with the legacy of racism at the midnight hour.
We wonder why other countries are at each other's throats over events that happened centuries ago, but we are just as bad. This country is still fighting over whether a man's skin color determines his value. If we can lick this one, we can do anything. If Obama wins, I am not only going to walk naked out my front door, I am also going to join all of America in a sobbing, wet catharsis.
I was interested in the Times interviews of late with race-sensitive white Democrats. The story is called: Democrats in Steel Country See Color, and Beyond It. One man told the reporter, straight out, that he doesn't like blacks... but:
"I’ve got to vote for him,” he said finally.
Him? “The Democrat, Obama,” Mr. Piroli replied. “I can’t be stupid.”
He was referring, of course, to his economic self interest.
Another group of women petulantly swore they'd be writing in Hillary's name—not caring that Hillary would beg them to stop. They are simply undone by the idea of being considered a Negro-Lover. It's the last pin in their diaper.
Let it go, ladies. Let it go...
4.
It will always be my great sorrow that I never got to see Barack debate a progressive opponent— a wilder "wealth-spreader," a more outraged feminist, someone who got in his face about playing games with gay marriage. Labor leaders. Migrant activists. Consumer rights warriors. Schoolteachers in hell. Young people there with them. Prisoners. Soldiers. Medical marijuana patients. Gray Panthers. Karl Marx.
90% of our nation's inhabitants were ignored for this election campaign. The plumbers I know are all lesbians, Mexicans, and hippies. I do enjoy Obama's oratory, and we never got to see how he competes with a philosophical peer. This whole election has been about reassuring bigots, McCarthyites, and the very, very, rich. I am so fucking sick of them!
5.
Here in California, we have two hateful propositions on the ballot... Prop. 8, which tries to un-do "gay marriage," (this is the third time we've been through this crap!) and another, Proposition 4, which swears to destroy abortion and privacy rights for young women.
The bills are peas in a pod, and are both sponsored by religious zealots who've spent institutional fortunes to control the personal lives of millions of people they don't even know.
The backers don't live in California and could care less about our state or constitution. They despise the citizens they consider deviants, and have little but contempt for the "followers" they recruit to their little game.
Their elitism rivals the Vatican's. They'd rather be boiled in oil than accept government intervention in any aspect of their affairs, but they want a special class of police to put people in stocks for their sex lives.
The Moral Segregationist should be treated with as much respect as any other fringe character who might want to repeal votes for "coloreds" or who imagines children are chattel bred to suit their father's breeding purposes. Their "moral" foundation is as sound as the Ku Klux Klan's.
Yet the momentum of these scoundrels is gathered at each election as if it was an entirely respectable, democratically-grounded movement.
They are encouraged by the legislature, the courts, and the media to discuss "gay marriage" as if it were an alien landing that normal human beings are not familiar with. Doesn't matter that every single one of these hypocrites has gay people in their own family— or are closeted gays themselves.
When it comes to birth control, their family trees are the products of live births, miscarriages, abortions, and unplanned conceptions— just like everyone else's. Their mothers and daughters don't deserve this, but the patriarchs behind these movements are a singular group of misogynists.
Why are they treated as if they have even a modicum of mental health? Why is the sickness of a Larry Craig, a David Vitter, or one of Joseph Smith's "direct descendants"— running our ballot process?
ENOUGH!
No wonder I need to throw a costume contest to soothe my tortured soul. Go get your warpaint on before I crack another tooth!
“There’s a real problem in what’s called the ‘white movement.’
"One, there’s a lot of people who are just mentally ill, and we deal with those a lot.
"Number two, there are people who have serious sexual problems.”
-- Bill White, current leader of the American National Socialist Workers Party, one of the nation’s more established neo-Nazi groups.
Mr. White is quoted from a New York Times interview about the predicament his movement faces in the upcoming election.
His followers revile Obama for being "half-black," of course, but they also despise McCain. —Jewish money, don't you know!
Three weeks after the Times interview, Mr. White was jailed on suspicion of making death threats against a juror who was on a panel in 2004 that convicted a white supremacist of plotting to kill a federal judge.
Wait'll you read about the serious sex problems.
Illustration: Pulp magazine cover featured on Tom McMahon's art design blog.
The first thing I thought when I heard a foxy female governor from Alaska was anointed as the McCain's running mate was:
"Wow, they didn't have single man on their short list who didn't have a freakazoid, wide-stance, hooker-party sex scandal on his rap sheet— they HAD to pick a woman."
But I was so naive. Sarah Palin has enough scandals of her own, sexual and otherwise, to make a sailor blush.
I feel a bit sorry for her, as I do for all the photogenic "spokesmodels" that the GOP specializes in recruiting for jobs that they prefer to be handled by professionals behind the scenes. The neo-cons have no respect for government; it's just a business they've enjoyed deregulating. They put up the the most useful idiots on the ballot that they can launder, and smirk at every sucker they take in. After all, Karl Rove's an atheist who's made a career out of manipulating the religion vote!
For all the squawking about Sarah Barracuda's lack of experience, I am certain Palin is smarter than George W. was at any age, and she can READ better than he ever will, on or off a teleprompter. She earned a bachelor's degree at the University of Idaho that she made the grades for, all by herself— without anyone pulling a string. She can shoot a grizzly between the eyes at 100 yards, and is a lot better "close in" that Dick Cheney will ever be. Let's face it, Palin's an L-Word fantasy writ large, and the perfect example of why butch straight women set hearts aflutter no matter where they appear.
But despite her fantastic hide-your-own-caribou upbringing, there is one way that Sarah Palin betrayed her classic Alaskan heritage and that is by being such a two-faced prig.
I only spent one youthful summer working in the 49th State— but the impression I left with is that Alaskans care about whether you pull your own weight, and mind your own beeswax. That's it. How you spend your personal time, and what you believe in, is entirely up to you.
Like everyone else in Alaska, Sarah Palin had "premarital sex." Like every other Alaskan of my generation, she smoked weed. She lived close to nature and was familiar with the unsentimental cycle of life, death, and birth. She works hard and plays hard. It's no joke that there's nothing much to do in those months of darkness besides fuck, hunt, fish, smoke, and drink. Her teenagers are apparently following in their parents' footsteps... they too, are having sex, and now one of them, Bristol, is said to be pregnant, for the first time. (Her boyfriend says on his MySpace page: "I don't want kids.)"
No one would give a whit about any of the Palin peccadilloes if Sarah hadn't made such a spectacle of herself campaigning as a pro-lifer, gay-hater, abstinence-monger, Creationist-dork. Where does she get off mandating public policy that tells anyone how to live their life?
Sarah's been under the Crony Club impression that's there's one set of rules for stupid voters, and another life of privacy and privileges for the elite. Is it so hard to imagine that Sarah also has family members who are gay, or who've had an abortion? When she was earning her B.S. at Idaho State, I bet she had the sense not to stuff Genesis fairy tales down everyone's throats in Biology class. I can guarantee her family doesn't preach abstinence around the Moose Stew.
A number of people spent the weekend wondering if young Bristol is already a mother, of the mysterious "Trig" who she holds so devotedly to her chest. The idea that mom Sarah might've faked a pregnancy to cover up the family's shame is a real Alaskan Gothic. It's parallel to a doping scandal. Politicians have to "dope up" their family history to make the impossible seem believable. Of course normal flesh and blood family members are going wreak havoc, especially the teenagers. Of course any candidate's life will fail the Leave It To Beaver test.
It's obnoxious on every side. The way the Democrats spin Obama's home life makes my eyes clench shut. I don't want to know! I don't care if they're crabby or delightful or close-knit or estranged or cute or ugly... SHUT UP already.
I only care about one thing, and that's the politics the candidate is fronting. I expect them to be held accountable to the will of the people— and that's not a profile you'll find in a tabloid magazine. We're the only country in the world that makes our presidential election candidates into a beauty contest. Did "Miss Wasilla" say that she longed for Whirled Peas when she accepted her Miss Congeniality crown? I don't think so.
Why doesn't she just take a big breath of icy Northern Air and tell the truth: Sarah Palin got picked for this job like a two-bit player at a casting call. What McKook doesn't understand is this: Barracuda is an ambitious Sourdough ballhandler who isn't going to let anybody's brats— nor the GOP— stand in her way.
Biden coined the mega-authoritarian phrase "drug czar" to describe the head of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.
He is the man most responsible for pushing the "Rave Act" through Congress— possibly the most absurd and potentially repressive piece of legislation the Congress has passed in recent years— and that's saying something!
Biden's act was originally titled "Reducing Americans' Vulnerability to Ecstasy."
(LOL -susie)
The bill was introduced in 2002 during the great Ecstasy (aka MDMA) panic of the early 2000s. More people die from bad reactions to normal doses of aspirin than from MDMA every year.
It was reintroduced in 2003. That year, another version of the law, titled "The Illicit Drug Anti-Proliferation Act" was added to the "Amber Act," an emotionally-fraught piece of legislation that created a national system for responding to child abduction, and which very few congresspeople dared vote against.
The "rave act" part of this legislation, signed into law by President George W. Bush, makes the sponsor of any public event legally responsible for any illegal drug exchanges or use that occurs at their event.
The initial bill actually singled out raves as the likely enforcement target, but that language was changed as clearly prejudicial. In the words of a missive from the Drug Policy Alliance, which organized the opposition to this law, "Because of its broad language, the proposed law would... subject people to twenty years in federal prison if guests smoked marijuana at their barbecue."
The recent sponsor of the recent South Dakota 68th annual Jackpine Gypsies MC Rally— where John McCain was third-billed behind Kellie Pickler and Kid Rock— and where the smell of marijuana smoke wafted through the air, would be up for 20 years in an iron cage under the Rave Act.
It is unclear whether this law has been used since that time, but every time the hosts of a private party, musical event— or Republican Party rally— doesn't do everything within their power to make sure that absolutely nobody in attendance uses or exchanges any plants or chemicals that are currently illegal, they are liable for a punishment far more severe than the sentence meted out to the user, or even the dealer, of an illicit substance.
Biden also wrote the law against shipping drug "paraphernalia" through the mail— that's the one that put Tommy Chong in jail.
Regarding medical marijuana for pain management, in 2007 Biden said, "There's got to be a better answer than marijuana."
Of course, as every educated, informed person knows, the opiate drugs currently used for the management of intense pain are addictive, substantially harmful to health, and often fatal. The off-prescription use of these narcotics is the biggest drug problem today, particularly among young people. Marijuana has few health counter-indications and there has never been a fatality from smoking or eating it.
There may be some recent signs of moderation in Biden's lifelong drug war fanaticism. In 2007, Biden introduced a bill to end the discrepancies between the punishment for possession of powdered and crack cocaine, effectively reducing the draconian sentences for possession and/or sale of small amounts of crack.
And while campaigning in the recent Presidential primaries, Biden said he would end federal raids on medical marijuana patients (Of course, G.W. Bush said the same thing during the 2000 election campaign... and Bill Clinton told Rolling Stone we should decriminalize marijuana as he was leaving office).
It's interesting to note that earlier in the campaign, Senator Jim Webb of Virginia, a stalwart advocate of drug reform, was much discussed as the leading contender to become Obama's VP pick. Webb withdrew his name from consideration for that spot and has since commented on valuing his freedom to speak his mind.
Obama's positions on drug reform have been a moving target. Most famously, in 2004, Senator Obama said, "I think the war on drugs has been a failure, and I think we need to rethink and decriminalize our marijuana laws." He went on to say that he opposed "legalizing" marijuana.
For the most part, Candidate Obama has been silent on the drug war, although he recently suggested that an extra DEA office would be just what the doctor ordered for New Orleans.
Looking on the bright side, it's possible that a stalwart drug warrior like Biden would have the credibility necessary to start winding down the excesses of the drug war (the "Nixon Goes to China" theory that only conservatives can get away with introducing certain types of reforms).
But the most disheartening thing about Obama's selection of Biden for Vice President isn't the selection itself, but the fact that Biden's history as a drug war fanatic doesn't even warrant mention... on CNN, MSNBC (including Keith Olbermann), or even on the first day's coverage at Huffington Post.
The reality is that 11 million pot smokers— and the many other mostly responsible users of recreational drugs that don't happen to be on the approved list— just don't count at all as far as the American political mainstream is concerned.
Photo:by the remarkable Etchsketchist, who will do an EtchASketch portrait for YOU, of anything you like, for a mere $10 clams! I feel like sending him my whole scrapbook!
Over the course of this election season, I'm going to be looking for stories you don't "see every day."
Obviously, I'm desperate for a regime change, happy to pull the lever for the Big O.
But I'm also completely left flat by the mainstream media coverage, and am rather estranged from all the God Bless America rigamarole. Please send me any tips you may have for off-the-radar election coverage... Susie
Here's the real story: During an auction to support my hometown public radio station, KUSP, I went into a bidding frenzy to win a date to spend the day with the Assemblyman for our district, John Laird— who is, with much wailing and gnashing among his constituents— being termed out this year.
John and I have been involved in California State politics as gay rights activists since the Brigg's Initiative 1978, a watershed moment in our state, when people finally took a stand against the most draconian of the haters.
(Briggs was a State Senator from Orange County who sponsored Proposition 6 to "Save Our Children from Homosexuals!" by posting photos of himself dandying a little blond girl in his lap—ha!— and screaming about how queers had to rooted out of the public school system. This was avant-garde at the time in rightwing circles).
Jon and I got personally acquainted years later, when I went out to vote at my polling place in Santa Cruz, which is a local evangelical church. I couldn't' concentrate on punching my card because I was surrounded by giant posters on the walls of The 10 Commandments and Promises of Eternal Damnation. This couldn't be kosher.
I called the Registrar's office after my vote to insist the church take down the "God Crap" during polling hours... and it was John who was manning the phones! "I'm so thrilled you called about this, because when I say it, no one takes me seriously."
Ironic— all these years later, John is the most effective legislator in the Assembly, which, if you know how hard it is to get ANYTHING done in this state, is mouth-dropping. Whether it's walking your dog in the park, or sparing us from b.s. offshore oil drilling, or a water policy to save us from extinction, or anti-discrimination laws with teeth... you name it, John's been on it.
And yes, he has a collector's pair of Ronnie and Nancy Bunny Slippers, which I put on and stomped all over his office.
My partner Jon (and yes, John's partner is also named John) took the train with me to the Capitol where we spent the day watching the whole place come apart over the tension at the state budget impasse:
We got to meet the incredibly cool and calm John Chiang, State Controller:
Schwarzenegger sues state controller over pay-cut order— John Chiang has refused to implement the governor's pay cut for state workers, ordered because of the budget impasse.
Our whole day was orchestrated and guided by Elaine Knight, Laird's scheduler, who is on the plane today to kick ass working the Democratic Party convention in Denver. Elaine is the one who knows where the secret medfly is painted on the Governor's office ceiling, and how Jerry Brown revolutionized the staid tradition of the governor's portraits that hang throughout the capitol building.
More gossip on my Flickr page with big sizes of all the photos!
Susie talks with feminist author Katha Pollitt, one of the mothers of American women's liberation, and notorious for her Nation magazine column "Subject to Debate".
Susie and Katha talk about how sexual liberation got separated from women's liberation, "Virginity or Death!" the sexual licks of the male ego, and global feminism at its most provocative.
If you like this sample and want to hear more, you can subscribe (for $2 a show) to my weekly show at Audible.com. I'm offering a 12-episode season on iTunes to give new listeners a taste!
The first time I ever heard the expression, "he's not ready"— as in, "he, a black man, is not ready"— I was sitting in a tree with my best friend Laura Martin, in 1969. A black councilman in Los Angeles, Tom Bradley, was running against incumbent mayor Sam Yorty, a good ole' boy if there ever was one.
Our legs dangled from a big avocado tree in the back yard. Laura and I loved being out of our Catholic schoolgirl uniforms and hanging out in our cutoffs. I'd been at St. Rita's for a year, and thought it odd that every single student there was white. But we were all for civil rights, weren't we?
I found out different that day. It was just before the election, and true to my mom's liberal beliefs, I was ecstatic about getting out the vote for Tom Bradley. I asked Laura if she wanted to go down to the Superette, and pass out leaflets.
She looked at me like I was crazy. "The colored people have got it all wrong," she said, no doubt echoing her own mommy. "Tom Bradley is not ready to be mayor of Los Angeles; he and the other colored have got to know their place and stop pushing."
I wasn't very good at argument at age eleven and I was little bit impulsive. Okay, maybe more than a little.
"That's not true, Sam Yorty is a pig, that's RAY-CIST!" I cried. And when she smirked at my red face, the tears welling up— oh Laura, how could you ridicule me!— I pushed her out of the tree.
I felt a little pushy again this morning, reading the exit polls and editorials following the Democratic 2008 primary. I've often been in this place, where I am not "in love" with either candidate— by a long shot— and yet I'm outraged when either of them are damned with euphemistic racist or sexist evaluations.
It seems like the down-low way to diss Obama, from the Clinton campaign, is to say that he's "not ready" to be President. Many people embrace this expression quite innocently, since they count the years that Hillary has been in office, or even been alive, and point out that she is the elder. True enough.
But this expression of "not being ready" has a legacy in the American Civil War and African apartheid. It's the other face of the "uppity Negro" complaint, a phrase no one can say with a straight face anymore.
Ian Smith, the Rhodesian prime minister and apartheid defender, became notorious for saying, "the black man is not ready to run Africa before a thousand years.” His church supporters, people like Cardinal McCann, proclaimed: "the black man is not ready to assume control of his destiny."
And that's just recent history. It started with the abolitionist movement in the US, when slavery-protesters like Frederick Douglas were deemed "uppity"' because they had the nerve to call for emancipation.
If there's a doubt about precedent, I'd suggest you look at ANY electoral contest where a black candidate is facing a white incumbent, and you'll find some version of this race-coding.
The uniqueness of the 2008 Presidential race is that we get to celebrate our maturity in moving past the poison of prejudice. But we also witness seeping resentments against black and female candidates that show how far we've got to go. It's dug up a lot of unexpressed grudges and trash.
The Clintons have already been spanked in recent weeks for Bill's intemperate Jesse Jackson remarks, for downplaying MLK and the achievement of the black power movement (I never thought I'd see the day LBJ got coronated for that!) and damning Barak with faint praise by admiting that
he is "articulate"— for a black man, of course!
Meanwhile, Obama's campaign has not joined in with the "conniving, teary-eyed bitch needs to get back in the laundry room" misogyny that the Republican camp has no trouble slinging. Is he just being a sensible campaigner, or does it repulse him, as one would love to assume? I'd like to think he's a feminist, an equal rights campaigner, and mindful of the strong women in his life.
Now's the time for Hillary
to speak up from her side and condemn this "not ready" garbage. No one gets to this
level of a presidential campaign who's not ready— even if all that means is to be ready to serve at the corporate leisure, as George Bush has demonstrated. Like Mike Huckabee, Obama's ready to take the job, whether he's going be a "greatest-ever" president or not!
I'm not holding my breath for the Clintons to step up to the plate, and speak out against slight-of-word racial undercutting. So far, they've been content to play this trope against Obama's surging popularity. Unlike some of her followers, Hillary knows exactly what dynamite she's playing with. The only question
is, will it blow up in her campaign's face?
Last night I heard from an old friend in New York, who was on the ropes:
"It's only hours away from the polls opening, and I still don't know who I'm gonna vote for!"
Her agony is not unique. A lot of people who want to see George Bush frog-marched out of office with a bucket of tar on his head, are, today, puzzled as to who they'd like to see take his place.
For Democrat-voters, the Obama vs. Clinton contest has been a Giant Dipper of Indecisiveness.
For independents, it's tempting, for once, to get involved in the game.
For GOP voters... sorry, what a freak show. I know a couple sensible Goldwater pornographers you might want to write in as an alternative.
I told my girlfriend last night, and I'll say the same to all of you here, "I'll be your kind confidante to confess your vote to— and I'll love you no matter what."
Yes, I love everyone's who's voting today, because I can't remember the last time I saw so much excitement about enfranchisement!
My New York pal has been afraid to speak up at her Obama-crazed office, to reveal that she's been a Hillary-supporter all these months. However, she just watched Will.i.Am's music video set to Barak's New Hampshire primary speech, and was so in awe of his entertainment and speech-writing staff she just might cross over.
But it's hard. She contemplated the sexism she's seen in this race, and rallied to Gloria Steinem's argument why women are denied the front-runner throne.
Then, she thinks of Bill, and wants to puke.
Still, she wonders what Obama can get done after all the Hollywood pretty people have left the building.
And then she dreams about the awestruck impression a "President Obama" would make to the rest of the world, especially the parts of the world the U.S. has gutted over and over again. That's inspiring.
I said, "Gee, you've been through the wringer. Here I was, just fondling my old Shirley Chisholm button, thinking of all I've seen since I got my 18-year-old vote in 1976!"
Like many left-wing voters, I wish there was a feminist, antiwar, sexually-liberated, free-speech-loving, class-conscious, civil rights-marching, slow food activist who would invite me to take my shoes off in the Lincoln Bedroom. Damn!
I started out with Kucinich— Elizabeth, I mean. I wish we could run away together on a unicorn.
Next, I stood wide-eyed and puzzled by the Edwards phenom, wishing again, that his wife was running, because she sounds so real, and she doesn't have a problem with gay marriage, either. It was amazing that this candidate was the one— the white guy with the fancy hair— who brought poverty and working class issues, and corporate-abuse outrage, to the table. THAT'S what's tearing this country apart, and that's what any White House will be facing, the true David vs. Goliath.
Today, though, I had to choose between Obama and Clinton.
I wish Obama was a Trojan horse of liberal goodies as the Republicans would like to portray him— but there's no evidence that he is.
Talk about embarrassing moments— Obama, in 2004, demanded that he not have his picture taken with S.F. Mayor Gavin Newsom during a fundraiser, because Barak didn't want to be pictured next to the guy who made gay marriage legal on Valentines Day. Ugh! Politics as usual.
But the Clintons... and yes, I think it's fair to refer to the plural... have ridden their centrist, sellout, fundie-crooked-accomodationist pony right into the ground. They've controlled the Democratic agenda and enabled the most egregious GOP crap. They are emblematic of a Congress that's done little to repudiate George Bush.
Witness the latest Feinstein-led rally to appoint Michael Mukasey as Attorney General, a guy who champions moral relativism on waterboarding, and is just another in a long line of stomach-turning, REPULSIVE events. That reminds me of the former Clinton administration.
The Clintons are admitted hawks, they're prudes, and they're absolutely quaint on issues like continuing the embargo on Cuba. Someone needs to surgically remove the Cold War out of their ass. They take advantage of liberals hoping that they are more "cool" in their private lives than they are in their public ones. Who cares? I don't want to "have a beer" with them; I'd rather they show their social justice colors in their public policy.
I voted for Obama today as an anti-DLC vote, as a repudiation to the party machine. It's sort of like voting against the old Daley machine in Chicago.
I can see that Obama is a beautiful and charismatic speaker, and that he has the emblematic, generous, Aloha spirit. His wife Michelle is awesome, and I'd vote for her in a hot second.
But I would love to appear before him like a Dickensian Bart Simpson at the foot of his bed, whispering, "Don't fuck this up, man."
"Don't sell out the people who are voting for you today, because the reason they are attracted to you is revolutionary.
"We want a COMPLETE change: an end to this war, to torture, to racist imperial politics. We want an embrace of the public good, democracy, a commitment to education and the future. A repudiation of corruption! And don't forget a defiant kick in the corporate ass, which is going to be the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life. Might wanna get Edwards as your new AG..."
Plus, baby wants new shoes, too. It's a tall order.
Now get out there, and vote!
And... if you'd like to reveal your thoughts, or voting choices in the
comments below, feel free to post anonymously. I won't publish anything
that's a loose cannon, either.
P.S. To my local girls: Yes on Prop 93! Let's make sure the best US State Representative ever, John Laird, stays in office. If only he was our president!— Wouldn't life be fine?
I usually shy away from contests of any kind, as a judge or a contestant, since I'm the kind of softie who thinks every boy and girl should win a big kiss and a pie.
But this year I gleefully agreed to be a judge in a contest, The Golden Dukes, to decide which political figures in the US, this year, were the most atrocious liars, cheats and scoundrels— the kind of people who've bled this country dry.
The categories are Best Testimonial Trainwreck, Best Corruption Based Chutzpah, Most Improbable Forgetfulness, Best Sex Scandal, Local Scandal, and Overall Big Kahuna Scandal.
The winners got announced today by editor Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo.
The best part of being a judge for this contest was conferring with the other judges, particularly John Dean, "a gentleman and a scholar." He wrote me during our deliberations, "Bush and Cheney have done what no one believed possible— made Nixon look good."
Aside from our votes, we judges were asked for our "reasoning." It was hard to reason!— because after you've rolled the videotape on these bloated hypocrites' dossiers, you're ready for a bucket— not thoughtful discrimination.
Today, on my In Bed podcast, I begin the show with an evaluation of all the
presidential candidates based ONLY on what we know about their sexual preferences and sexual politics— which true to our puritanical heritage, often have nothing to do with each other.
What are the contradictions between Obama posing Kennedyesque in swim trunks, and then applauding the endorsement of a "reformed homosexual" preacher?
Exactly how does Giuliani tell his new best friend Pat Robertson about his kinky
side as a cross dresser? Why is Mitt Romney inextricably caught up in in our fantasies of Chloe Sevigny in Big Love?
Another aspect up for frivolous yet exhaustive scrutiny is
the candidate's spouse. Who has more sex appeal: Bill Clinton, Jeri
Thompson, or Elizabeth Kucinich? I find it hard to resist Elizabeth's tongue piercing, but for phone sex, I don't know if you can beat Bill.
Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, a listener asks: my boyfriend is really difficult to arouse, but he tells me I'm the best relationship he's ever had. What gives?
Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 319, November 23, 2007)
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