Essays on Lust, Aggression, Porn, & The Female Gaze
That I Might Not Have Written If Not for Her
Table of Contents:
The Baffling Case of Andrea Dworkin
Spankful
Story of O Birthday Party
Are Women Making Porn Movies?
As Porn As We Wanna Be
Lesbian Lowdown
The Prime of Miss Kitty MacKinnon
The Blatant Lesbian Image
Dyke
Cunt
Soaking Feminism
Vargas Girls: Susie’s Vargas in Drag, & Andrea’s Blonde Sambos
Andrea Dworkin Has Died
These are essays and stories I've written from the mid-80s to today. Some are scholarly; others were written as consumer advice; some were
popular features in counterculture and mainstream media.
I think you will find it to be everything you ever wanted to know on the topic from the sex-positive-feminist-pornographer side of the tracks, and a very good introduction to the "other side" as well.
After you've read it, I would welcome your thoughtful feedback. Thank you so much for all your interest... I've been very moved to re-read these stories and think about all that has happened in the past thirty years since this conversation began.
Thanks to all 11,000 of you-- yes!-- who weighed in on the cover contest. It was a 50/50 split vote, the red domme vs. the mantis. I decided to use both! They were each designed by the amazing Stewart A. Williams.
As you know, I am a diehard fan of the rigorous movie quizzes devised by Dennis Cozzalio at his swoon-worthy filmblog, Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule.
I am posting my answers on his blog, along with everyone else who's playing... but here's an extended version, with film clips and photos. Come over and post your answers, it's sooooo fun; more like an interview than an exam.
Let me stretch my cold blue hands from their keyboard coffin and begin:
1) Favorite Vincent Price/American International Pictures release.
My earnest favorite is the “The House of Usher.” I like to think Price truly drank the Poe Kool-Aid and gave himself to that role.
I also gasp at “Raven” for the debut of that handsome, full-head-of-hair jackanape, Jack Nicholson.
2) What horror classic (or non-classic) that has not yet been remade would you like to see upgraded for modern audiences?
I have a longtime answer to this question.
I edited a lesbian magazine in the 1980s called On Our Backs. I discovered an erotic short story in our slush pile that was terrific, a sci-fi suspense-thriller featuring two amazing lovers/adversaries: Ripley and Vasquez.
I called the author on the phone, exclaiming over her inspiring characters. Wow, what originals! She was quiet on the other end of the line.
That’s how I came to rent the whole series. Nevertheless, I wrote back to my author, “I still wish your story was the movie; I love it the best.”
That was my introduction to slash fiction— I’ve read a lot of it now, much of it script-worthy!
3) Jonathan Frid or Thayer David?
Barney Barney Barney! I wasn't supposed to watch “Dark Shadows,” and it was the only soap I was interested in as a child. Frid's character and those pretty ladies’ décolletage are what stayed with me.
4) Name the one horror movie you need to see that has so far eluded you.
My glaring omission isThe Exorcist. I read the book in broad daylight at fourteen and scared myself so badly I couldn’t sleep. I remember seeing the lines of people waiting for its debut at the movie theater in Westwood, and I thought, “No, I can’t take it, I can’t.”
5) Favorite film director most closely associated with the horror genre.
David Cronenberg.
But my favorite "horror" director not especially connected with horror is Roman Polanski.
6) Ingrid Pitt or Barbara Steele?
Barbara’s face is so memorable, that British porcelain in Italian camp. She worked with Fellini, right? You have to love a Felliniesque horror vamp.
I lean toward attractive monsters, sexy monsters, French monsters.
The one who touches my heart the most is the Beast in Cocteau’s La Belle et le Bête. I would never leave him!
However, in the course of preparing my answer to this question, I stumbled upon something I simply MUST watch tonight: Nazi zombies, in Dead Snow. Norwegian!
13) Favorite Mario Bava movie.
Need you ask? Diabolik! He robs from the rich to give to the girls. No horror, just pure pre-Bond awesomeness.
14) Favorite horror actor and actress.
My boyfriend right now is "Eric" in True Blood, played by Alexander Skarsgard. He and the Nazi Zombies can HAVE me.
Boris Karloff is my classic favorite, and my mother’s as well.
Their Dark Shadows moments were just one little twinkle on great careers from start to finish.
17) When did you realize that you were a fan of the horror genre? And if you’re not, when did you realize you weren’t?
I was raised quite obediently as girly-girl— I thought horror was for boys, along with mathematics and sports. I said horror movies were dumb— or frightful— and as I was “protected” from them as a child, I had no idea what I was missing. Occasionally I’d hear some chick screaming from a monster-rape reel, and I’d grimace. Stupid, stupid victim.
In the 80s, around the time I got the Ripley/Vasquez manuscript, I confided my horror-contempt to one of my colleagues, book critic Laura Miller.
She surprised me; she told me I was a fool to be missing out on some truly great movies. Laura seemed to know what would turn the key for me… and suggested an early Cronenberg: Brood. It’s psychiatric! It’s sexual! It’s Canadian! I was enraptured.
I always liked fantasy and fairy tales for their romance and cruelty, I just hadn’t figured out where to find those themes in horror. I also hadn’t yet discovered my horror heroines, women who make things happen.
I suppose it's old hat now, but Clover’s writing about "The Final Girl" gave me a way into horror, to see beyond the shrieking raped-wretch. Women get to “do more stuff” in horror than just about any genre. In horror, once you start listening between the lines, gender is a tossed salad.
18) Favorite Bert I. Gordon (B.I.G.) movie.
I fail once again. I guess I know what I'm doing this Halloween.
19) Name an obscure horror favorite that you wish more people knew about.
The People Under The Stairs… it’s so bad it’s delicious.
Rabid… oh, Marilyn.
20) The Human Centipede-- yes or no?
Oh yes! YES! YES! This is exactly where the toilet flukeworm in X-Files was heading.
21) And while we’re in the neighborhood, is there a horror film you can think of that you felt “went too far”?
“Going too far,” for me, is a desired mental destination. If something affects me, it’s done its magic, and my reaction says more about “me” than it does about the supposed line it crossed.
A favorite movie that pushed my buttons this way was I Spit on Your Grave.The ultimate in Old Testament Medieval Revenge. Camille Keaton is beyond The Final Girl— she is: The Rapture.
The first half of the film, her character is humiliated, raped, broken— left for dead. I could barely sit through it. No wonder this film was targeted by feminist picket lines and boycotts.
But had any of the protestors watched the SECOND half? What Keaton does to her rapists is TWICE as sick— and cold as ice. All one can do is applaud. Or laugh, evilly.
22) Name a film that is technically outside the horror genre that you might still feel comfortable describing as a horror film.
Recently, The Debt. Anything on a gynecologist’s table with a Nazi: Horror movie.
23) Lara Parker or Kathryn Leigh Scott?
Lara Parker, by a hair— but I'm not really into either of these girls.
24) If you’re a horror fan, at some point in your past your dad, grandmother, teacher or some other disgusted figure of authority probably wagged their finger at you and said, “Why do you insist on watching all this morbid horror junk?” How did you reply?
“Can I watch just two more minutes?”
And if that reply fell short somehow, how would you have liked to have replied?
“When I grow up, I’m going to do whatever I want and you won’t be able to stop me.” —
That’s what I was thinking all the time.
But I never would have said that, because the “violence” that would have ensued would make any horror movie look like a walk in the park!
25) Name the critic or Web site you most enjoy reading on the subject of the horror genre.
I'm a neophyte. Tell me and I'll follow.
26) Most frightening image you’ve ever taken away from a horror movie.
How about the most frightening image I DIDN’T take away? There’s nothing like anticipating a shock, which you’ve been told your whole life is “beyond the pale”... only to find out it’s a con.
Snuff fooled so many people. What an advertising campaign! What a rout! It managed to get banned in several cities, become a centerpiece of feminist outrage for a good decade… and it was all a big NOTHING.
The movie’s tag line was, “Made in South America, Where Life is Cheap!”
In fact, the “snuff” ending was shot in Hell’s Kitchen, where the film distributor was so cheap that he heated up a little Chef-Boy-R-Dee for the FX shot of the "victim’s" intestines. The dead actress couldn’t lay still.
The things they got away with, before the Internet...
But to answer your original question, the image that's never left me more haunted is Catherine Deneuve going nuts in Repulsion, which critic Kim Morgan outlines beautifully here:
27) Your favorite memory associated with watching a horror movie.
Staying up by myself, watching vampire movies after mom went to bed.
28) What would you say is the most important/significant horror movie of the past twenty years (1992-2012)? Why?
30) You are programming an all-night Halloween horror-thon for your favorite old movie palace. What five movies make up your schedule?
Just for a kick, how about a horror fest based on The Bechdel Test?
The Bechdel Test requires a movie to pass three questions: 1) It has to have at least two women in it, 2) Who talk to each other, 3) About something besides a man.
Recently, you wrote to ask me if I'd like to write for you— for free— or license one of my works to you, gratis. Or, were you the one who asked me to donate my royalties? I forget.
Of course it's not really "free"— there's always the publicity, which I can't get enough of.
I eat publicity pancakes every day for breakfast, and pay my mortgage with publicity, and even my family's education. Whenever the phone bill comes due, I always send them some "publicity," because they say it's even better than cold hard cash!
Plus, no one's ever heard of me, which makes it even more precious. I have no idea how you managed to dig me up; I've only been in this business for 35 years, and I bet your track record dwarfs mine.
Obviously, you're only working for publicity, as well. I talked to your boss the other day— we were in line at the Cayman Islands Bank branch— and he told me he doesn't even bother depositing greenbacks anymore; just publicity!
While we're negotiating our contract, may I recommend a book to you? It's a priceless crash course, a grad school education in publishing, for under $20.
The title is The Writer's Legal Companion. Although it's written for authors, any publisher, editor, or publicist— who's unaccustomed to professional and legal obligations in our industry— would be well-served by it. To your self-interest, I might add.
Sincerely yours,
Susie Bright
Dear Author, Writer, Journalist, Blogger,
Recently, you wrote to me seeking advice about how to get a break in the publishing business.
I asked you what you'd been reading lately, but you told me you'd been awfully busy; hard to catch up with all those pages.
I paraphrased Twain: "Those who don't read have little advantage over those who can't."
But you shushed me— time is of the essence! You apparently have a great idea you'd like to see picked up by a major outlet and publisher. You just need a quick tip, the right connection!
I usually consult with authors professionally, from Pulitzer Prize winners to Hollywood scribes, but I know you're special. You were so thoughtful to call on me, and suggest I could come on over, put my affairs aside, and help you with this effort. Giving is important! I never hear from people like you, maybe once every ten years. It's so remarkable you found me at all.
Maybe someday, when you make it big, you could put in a kind word for me at your church.
I know you can read all you want after you're dead, but out of sheer panic, I recommend these sources to you:
How To Write a Dirty Story, my book on the publishing business, particularly the chapters I wrote in Part V:
"If You Want to Make Some Money At Writing— But Not a Full-Time Livlihood
"If You Want to Make a Living at Writing— Year In and Year Out
"If You Want to Write a #1 Bestseller— & Never Write Again If You Don't Want To"
My second urgent tip is the The Writer's Legal Companion. I can't imagine anyone making it in this business who hasn't memorized its principles backward and forward. I have negotiated over 500 contracts since I first read this book, and I use its tenets every day.
Hells' Bells! A new app for the iPhone allows sinners to make an instant confession. The *official* Catholic Church asks the hard questions; you spill the beans.
Using their examination criteria, here's my confession, the first one I've made in 43 years:
1st Commandment: I am the LORD your God. Thou shalt not have strange Gods before me.
Do I not give God time every day in prayer? I do not.
Do I not seek to love Him with my whole heart?
I do not. I am an atheist, a lapsed Irish Roman Catholic brought up in the American church of the 1960s when we protested the war and the nuns took their habits off and the priests ran away to become gay liberationists. I named my life story Big Sex Little Death, which is definitely for Catholic tastes.
Have I been involved in superstitious practices? No.
Do I not seek to surrender myself to God's Word? No.
Have I ever received Communion in a state of Mortal sin?
The last time I went to confession I was nine years old and the most tearful sin I had on my conscience was my silent anger at my mother and her rules. I also loved the Beatles and I knew our parish didn't approve.
Have I ever deliberately told a lie in confession or withheld a mortal sin?
No. I won't start here, either.
2nd Commandment: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord your God in Vain
Have I used God's name in vain? Yes.
Have I been angry with God?
Is that like being angry with your imaginary friend?
Have I wished evil upon another person?
Towards unholy dictators and figureheads, I guess so. I would call this wish, "hostility on public figures who are bad actors."
Have I wished evil upon another person? Evil is imaginary, like God.
Have I insulted a sacred person or abused a sacred object?
Does a giant rosary hanging amusingly from my bedroom wall count?
3rd Commandment: Remember to keep holy the Lord's Day
Have I deliberatly missed Mass on Sunday? Yes!
Have I tried to observe Sunday as a family day and day of rest?
I sure try.
Do I do needless work on Sunday? Lamentably, I do.
4th Commandment: Honor thy father and mother
Have I neglected my duteis to my husband and children? No.
Have I not given my family good religious example?
I think my religious education efforts have been exemplary.
Do I try not to bring peace to my family life?
On the contrary, I try a lot. I like peace.
Do I not care for my aged and infirm relatives?
I care, and am there, and it is heartbreaking.
5th Commandment: Thou shalt not kill
Have I had an abortion or encouraged anyone to have an abortion?
Yes, Yes.
I can't believe this is the FIRST question on a 5th Commandment list!
Have I physically harmed anyone? No.
Have I abused alcohol or drugs?
As in "killing" someone? Jesus, what is this doing in the 5th? A hangover question? However, my Polly Purebred answer is still no. Drugs aren't my weakness.
Did I give scandal to anyone, leading them into sin?
By your insinuation, I hope so.
Have I been angry or resentful?
Yes. You got me. I'm taking years off my life with it, too.
Have I harbored hatred in my heart?
I hate to admit this. Yes. Finally, the one question in this entire examination that causes me guilt and pain.
Have I mutilated myself through sterilzation?
What's with the language here? I have made it impossible for my uterus to get pregnant, yes. I don't regard that as mutilation.
Have I encouraged sterilization or condoned it? Of course.
6th Commandment: Thou shalt not commit adultery
Have I been fiathful to my marriage in thought and action?
I'm loyal, but monogamy is not our litmus test.
Have I been guilty of any homosexual activity? Yes.
Have I used any method of contraception? All of them!
Have the sexual acts in my mariage always been open to the transmission of new life?
'Fraid not!
Have I been guilty of masturbation? As charged.
Have I not sought to control my thoughts? Not the sexual ones, no.
Have I not respected all members of the opposite sex— or have I thought of other people as objects?
I have respected everyone's dignity and humanity, regardless of gender. I don't think we're so "opposite."
What's with the Dworkinite postcript on this? The notion of "people as objects" is inane; it isn't biblical. I would be a lunatic to confuse you with a chair, for example.
I guess this phrase means, "Have I ever gazed upon an image of someone and had a sexual fantasy about them?" Yes, and it is the most human thing in the world.
Do I seek to be chaste? Certainly not.
Am I not careful to dress modestly?
I take care to dress with great impact.
7th Commandment: Thou shalt not steal
Have I stolen what is not mine?
No. Okay, so I still have your cute earrings. But you know that.
Have I not returned or avoided making restitituion for what I have stolen? N/A
Do I waste time at work, school, or home? Yes. Time Bandit!
Do I gamble excessively?
Not at all. I didn't realize it was okay to gamble "a little"! But it's not my thing.
Do I avoid paying my debts promptly?
I wish I could avoid them entirely, but I am intimidated.
Do I not seek to share what I have with the poor?
I'm a big sharer. It's the most "Roman Catholic" part of me. I'm impressed that the app-priests remembered to put this at the very END of their list. It should be at the top.
8th Commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor
Have I lied? It's unavoidable. But I'm telling the truth here.
Have I gossiped? Playfully.
Have I spoken behind someone's back? To my confidants, yes.
Am I insincere in my dealings with others? No. Terrible at faking that.
Am I critical, negative, or uncharitable in my thoughts of others?
In a bratty way, yes. But in serious terms, I more the empathetic type.
Do I keep secret what should be kept confidential? Yes.
9th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's wife
Have I consented to impure thoughts? The very best kind!
Have I caused them by impure reading, movies, conversations, or curiousity?
What is this, my job description?
Do I allow myself to lose control of my imagination?
WOW. I *live* to lose control of my imagination.
Do I avoid prayer to banish impure thoughts and tempataions?
I relish poetry to improve them.
(But what about "my neighbor's wife"? The priests forgot to ask! I do covet her. Her name is Lindsay. She is awesome).
10th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's goods
Am I jealous of what other people have?
Well, darn it, yes. But it passes quickly.
Do I envy the families or possessions of others?
When I am feeling sorry for myself, yes.
Am I greedy or selfish? Greedy, no. Selfish, yes.
Are material possessions the purpose of my life?
No. But that was never a source of esteem in my family.
Do I not trust in God will care for all my material and spiritual needs?
I didn't know this was an option! Please forward His address so I can mail the bills and my grocery list!
"Spiritually," I'm ready for my fork.
Photo: This is the actual day of my First Confession, in 1965. My mother took the snap.
I was very excited, in queue for my First Communion here. I was so psyched to have Jesus placed in my mouth and have a big private talk with him. I was let down and worried when "nothing" happened except the wafer stuck to the roof of my mouth.
I was frighened by the priest in the confession booth, who gave me five Hail Mary's, one Apostles' Creed, ten Our Fathers... this was for the sin of "thinking bad thoughts about my mother's discipline and not truly wanting to do all the dishes."
You see that nun in the background with the aviator shades? She used to hit us across the face. Time for confession, maybe?
When I think about what the Church does to young children, it makes me sick.
I discovered my first bit of Hamlet because my father took me, at age 14, to see the theatrical production of "Hair" at the Los Angeles's Aquarius Theater, in 1972.
Hair was not as much about luxurious locks or getting naked on stage— as it was a protest against the sadism and insanity of the Vietnam War.
This beautiful verse was originally sung on stage by Melba Moore and Ronald Dyson. I learned to wail the lyrics with great gusto and was shocked when my dad told me it was Shakespeare! I had to explore further.
Her television presence is what really tilts the DSM manual. Every time Taitz opens her mouth, she sounds like Zza Zza Gabor bitching out a Beverly Hills cop. Is there an Orly Taitz bobble-head available, with subtitles?
Forget her contempt of court citations— Orly epitomizes the racial contempt that underlines the birthers’ demand for a birth certificate from a man they don’t even think of as a human equal, let alone the President. This mob does nothing but come up with new ciphers for White Insecurity, and Orly is their Platinum Homecoming Queen.
Best Public Policy-Based Fib
Sarah Palin’s Death Panels
Most lies get one big chance. Their mendacity blooms, everyone takes a big sniff, and then it gets cut off or withers away.
Not Death Panels.
This notion, most passionately co-opted by Sarah Palin, was the Hydra-Headed Hysteria the VRWC always dreamed of. As soon as one head got cut off, another opened its yap.
Palin’s Death Panel posturing did more to screw “healthcare reform” (a phrase now forever captured in quotation marks) than any other effort the insurance industry poured into their venal lobbying.
Of course, Sarah didn’t originate the idea— she steals everything. But because she invoked the vision of her INFANT CHILD being sent off to Death Camp by Obama’s Public Option gas chamber, she wins the Crown of Skulls.
Outstanding Achievement in Corruption-based Chutzpah
Joe doesn’t just steal, cheat, lie, ruin innocent lives, and boast about it— he also arrests you if you cross him and then he throws away the key.
In fact, the real threat to the Golden Dukes this year is that if Joe wins the Duke, every judge on the TPM panel may be wearing pink underwear and toting pick axes out on a chain gang in the Arizona desert by next week. Consider my choice: courageous.
Best Scandal, Sex and Generalized Carnality
Gov. Mark Sanford, South Carolina
Few scandals rise to the level of elevating the English vernacular. “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” is one of the best euphemisms of the decade, not just the year.
Sanford is a peculiar tragic figure because he wore his deluded heart on his sleeve, a trait his mistress in Argentina did not share. I’ve been waiting for the other hiking boot to drop on his story— not Jenny Sanford’s divorce proceedings, but Mark’s inevitable realization that Miss Argentina may not feel the same way about him that he feels about her.
Markie doesn’t see politics, sex work, and marriage for what they are. Instead, he lives in a boyish dream world cosseted with Divine Blessings from the C-Street Commune. Their entire fraternity should be getting this Dukey, but for now, Sanford can carry the Lubed Scepter.
Best Scandal, Local Venue
Ciavarella & Conahan, Pennsylvania: The Judges who Sent Kids to Jail for Kickbacks
Does the phrase “beneath contempt” have any meaning to predators like these two?
I don't care how much sex or cash the other nominees stuffed in their pie-holes— no one else thought it would be a great idea to poach thousands and thousands of kids— many of whom had done nothing whatsoever criminal— and throw them away in a prison with no release date, all so they could get a tidy little taxpayer check for each victim. $2.6 million, to be exact.
The Duke Statuette is too good for them— could crowns of fanged serpents be arranged?
Best Scandal, General Interest
Jack Bonner (& Associates!)
If someone ever finds the smoking speculum in the Palin Baby-Go-Round, which explains the implausible circuitry of Palin family pregnancies, illicit affairs, and gothic revenge schemes,THAT would indeed be the scandal of the year, given the Second Coming platform upon which Palin has nailed herself.
But Andrew Sullivan is not quite Sam Spade and we don’t have the Black Bird in our hands. Perhaps another year!
Instead, I’d like to nominate a dark horse who epitomizes the kind of people who think the voting booth is for suckers: Jack Bonner.
If you want to know how traction is gained by any of the “crazies on the right,” you need look no further than “Bonner and Associates.”
Through the use of “white collar sweatshops”— Jack’s own term for his underpaid temps— Bonner engineered “astroturf campaigns,” a concept he virtually invented. His mouth-dropping machinations produced cover for Congressmen, be they GOP-kook or Moderate (Cough-Cough) Democrat, to vote foursquare against the interests of their constituents.
Health care, bank reform, labor law, consumer protection— what area of public good and welfare hasn’t been hatcheted by this man and his ilk? This is the kind of "lobbying" that puts democracy in a wood chipper.
