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Sex

October 01, 2008

If You Could Watch Anyone Have Sex for an Hour…

Angelina Jolie and brad pitt on bed Today, on my In Bed podcast, features three big topics: voyeurism, sexual myth-making, and uncircumcised men.

Inspired by my sex advice guru, Cory Silverberg, I made myself honestly answer the question, "who would I like to watch having sex, if I could have my pick?"  Frankly, Cory is my first pick, because if he fucks as with as much empathy he writes, I'd be enthralled.

But on the tabloid gossip front, where there's a lot of glamour-pusses to choose from,  I have an unusual reason why movie stars "Brad and Angelina" make my top five: 

Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show: LINK

$2 a show, for a year; why not? Listen to free shows and succumb!  LINK
 

Cory's column, which got me thinking about all this, was about the myths we make up about what "great sex" really amounts to. He predicts that no matter who we chose to "watch perform," we'd get bored within an hour— and I think he might even be overestimating it. 

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, a worried listener asks: "Do women really turn up their noses at uncircumcised men?"

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions— plus requests for free samples and blog banners!— to susie@susiebright.com.

September 01, 2008

Sometimes You Eat the Bear, Sometimes the Bear Eats You

41974563 The first thing I thought when I heard a foxy female governor from Alaska was anointed as the McCain's running mate was:

"Wow, they didn't have single man on their short list who didn't have a freakazoid, wide-stance, hooker-party sex scandal on his rap sheet— they HAD to pick a woman."

But I was so naive. Sarah Palin has enough scandals of her own, sexual and otherwise, to make a sailor blush.

I feel a bit sorry for her, as I do for all the photogenic "spokesmodels" that the GOP specializes in recruiting for jobs that they prefer to be handled by professionals behind the scenes. The neo-cons have no respect for government; it's just a business they've enjoyed deregulating. They put up the the most useful idiots on the ballot that they can launder, and smirk at every sucker they take in. After all, Karl Rove's an atheist who's made a career out of manipulating the religion vote!

For all the squawking about Sarah Barracuda's lack of experience, I am certain Palin is smarter than George W. was at any age, and she can READ better than he ever will, on or off a teleprompter. She earned a bachelor's degree at the University of Idaho that she made the grades for, all by herself— without anyone pulling a string. She can shoot a grizzly between the eyes at 100 yards, and is a lot better "close in" that Dick Cheney will ever be.  Let's face it, Palin's an L-Word fantasy writ large, and the perfect example of why butch straight women set hearts aflutter no matter where they appear.

But despite her fantastic hide-your-own-caribou upbringing, there is one way that Sarah Palin betrayed her classic Alaskan heritage and that is by being such a two-faced prig.

41975909 I only spent one youthful summer working in the 49th State— but the impression I left with is that Alaskans care about whether you pull your own weight, and mind your own beeswax. That's it. How you spend your personal time, and what you believe in, is entirely up to you.

Like everyone else in Alaska, Sarah Palin had "premarital sex." Like every other Alaskan of my generation, she smoked weed. She lived close to nature and was familiar with the unsentimental cycle of life, death, and birth. She works hard and plays hard. It's no joke that there's nothing much to do in those months of darkness besides fuck, hunt, fish, smoke, and drink. Her teenagers are apparently following in their parents' footsteps... they too, are having sex, and now one of them, Bristol, is said to be pregnant, for the first time. (Her boyfriend says on his MySpace page: "I don't want kids.)"

No one would give a whit about any of the Palin peccadilloes if Sarah hadn't made such a spectacle of herself campaigning as a pro-lifer, gay-hater, abstinence-monger, Creationist-dork. Where does she get off mandating public policy that tells anyone how to live their life?

Sarah's been under the Crony Club impression that's there's one set of rules for stupid voters, and another life of privacy and privileges for the elite. Is it so hard to imagine that Sarah also has family members who are gay, or who've had an abortion? When she was earning her B.S. at Idaho State, I bet she had the sense not to stuff Genesis fairy tales down everyone's throats in Biology class. I can guarantee her family doesn't preach abstinence around the Moose Stew.

A number of people spent the weekend wondering if young Bristol is already a mother, of the mysterious "Trig" who she holds so devotedly to her chest. The idea that mom Sarah might've faked a pregnancy to cover up the family's shame is a real Alaskan Gothic. It's parallel to a doping scandal. Politicians have to "dope up" their family history to make the impossible seem believable. Of course normal flesh and blood family members are going wreak havoc, especially the teenagers. Of course any candidate's life will fail the Leave It To Beaver test. 

41999285 It's obnoxious on every side. The way the Democrats spin Obama's home life makes my eyes clench shut. I don't want to know! I don't care if they're crabby or delightful or close-knit or estranged or cute or ugly... SHUT UP already.

I only care about one thing, and that's the politics the candidate is fronting. I expect them to be held accountable to the will of the people— and that's not a profile you'll find in a tabloid magazine. We're the only country in the world that makes our presidential election candidates into a beauty contest. Did "Miss Wasilla" say that she longed for Whirled Peas when she accepted her Miss Congeniality crown? I don't think so.

Why doesn't she just take a big breath of icy Northern Air and tell the truth: Sarah Palin got picked for this job like a two-bit player at a casting call. What McKook doesn't understand is this: Barracuda is an ambitious Sourdough ballhandler who isn't going to let anybody's brats— nor the GOP— stand in her way.



August 22, 2008

The Internal Clitoris— What a Woman's Cock Really Looks Like



If you told a man that his "penis" was nothing more than the head of his cock— his "glans"— he would laugh in your face.

If he pitied you, he might tell you that there was an important aspect to the penis called the shaft, also the frenulum, and perhaps a foreskin. His scrotum and balls are part of the essential package as well.

Women's anatomy education, on the other hand, has been a giant exercise in vacancy. Until recent times, we've been schooled that the clitoris— the female analog to the penis— is nothing more than the small glans one can see on the outside of the vulva.

Start laughing.

Women have a big, big, clitoral body— but it's nearly all on the inside, instead of the outdoor plumbing that's viewed so easily on men.

The reason you hear so much about the "g-spot," and controversies over whether women are excited by internal anal or vaginal pressure, is because those areas are all means to massage, and stimulate, the internal clitoral body. The g-spot isn't some extra accessory; it's just one of many inches on the clitoral map.

Remember: the whole clit, and nothing but.

Of course, the female clitoral glans is the super-sensitive part, just like a man's. But in the same way that men like to have their entire penises taken into account when they're aroused, women are favored by attention to their entire clitorises.

When I present this information in public, I am hampered by my lack of rendering skills. Now, finally, I have the genius of Betty "Quick Draw" Dodson to show you what's it's all about.

The next time someone asks you, "Where's the clitoris? What does it look like? How do you know where to find it?" — you simply come over here, and press play.



I posted an alternate version of this video before; but I like this one better... and it's a great way to launch Betty's new site, that she's put together with Carlin Ross. They have a whole slew of new videos, so check it out!

August 12, 2008

Susie's SexPosi-FemiNisty Blog Carnival-- With Sticky Treats and Prizes!

2603791484_8c26360e7d Hey guess what? I'm hosting my very first Sex-Posi blog carnival!

Send me your nominations by August 20th, and let's knock everyone's eyes out...

This carnival, inaugurated in March, has a very long name:

The Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy
!

Some of my favorite bloggers have been hosting this year's editions so far... here's the emmient list. Take a look around for inspiration, but please note that we can stretch all boundaries!

I'm giving my edition a nickname:

It's The SexPosiFemiNisty Carnival With Sticky Treats and Prizes!

Readers are the key to any Carnival's success. I may be annotating your nominations, and throwing in my two cents, but there's no substitute for your roving eyes and critical insights.

Please email me any sexual-politics-related blog stories you've read this summer that you thought were well-written, original, funny, touching, outrageous, furious—and again, WELL WRITTEN.

It can be visual, too, come to think of it. Floor me!

You can certainly send me more than one link... I love seeing your tastes. You can also post your nominations below, in the comments. I'll tak'em by bird, plane, any mode you choose.

I'll read all your suggestions, and pick my favorites to feature and write about. I'll publish the winners the first week of September!

And one more thing: If you suggest a "winning" blog post, not only will I credit and link to you with admiration, I'll also send you the latest ebook of Best American Erotica. —I told you it was sticky! Send me your URL if you want to be praised with a link.



Thank you so much to Caroline Shepherd for inviting me to do this in the first place...

Spend Your Last 9 Months Floating— Finish Off as an Orgasm!

Pie-fight-san-francisco I found out from Paul Krassner that George Carlin's daughter, Kelly, quoted my obit during her family memorial.

I'm so touched! It's just not the same without him around.

Carlin had the most perfect last words on dying:

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus?

"I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm."


On my audio show this week, I reminisce about Carlin, and then— on another subject!—  talk about the past and current state of "inter-racial" porn, which is like The Theater of the Absurd, antebellum-style:



Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show

$2 a show, for a year; why not? LINK
 

To my amazement, John McCain has decided to make his entire TV campaign about stimulating the imaginary, yet titillating "horror" of Obama sullying the specter of white, and particularly, blond, womanhood. Any one of his ads that juxtapose Barack with Paris or Britney feel like they came right out of a peep show arcade. It's out of the Karl Rove playbook, to be sure. This is the guy whose entire "oeuvre" consists of perverse race and sex baiting. Focus on the other guy's cock, and your election is in the bag. I can't wait 'til he dies, and the "Rovian Porn Archives" are revealed. I'm sure his rivals the Vatican's.

Finally, in my Try This at Home" mailbag, I get a letter from a listener who asks, "Hospital Sex. Am I crazy, or does it really happen? Is it weird to be horny while recuperating from surgery?"

Darling, it's the most natural thing in the world...


Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions and feedback about the show to susie@audible.com. (Episode 352, Aug. 8, 2008)

Photo Credit: Laurel & Hardy in The Battle of the Century, 1927. Over 4000 real pies were employed in the climactic battle of the custards.


August 07, 2008

Sex Advice for New Parents Who Wonder If They'll Ever Do It Again

mFigure9 I just came back from summer camp: Camp It Up! to be exact. It's a family camp for gay/bi/lesbian tribes and their friends— a lot of floatin'-down-the-river, horse-riding, BBQ-chowing, fun. 

Every time someone recognized me in the bathroom line, they'd say, in hushed tones: "Are you doing a workshop, here... please say yes!"

I knew they weren't asking for knot-tying advice; they had the same question as every straight, Ozzie-&-Harriet parent does: Will my lover  and I ever have sex again?

A lot of new moms and dads feel like they're in a time warp with their kids, with no hope of romance or erotic spontanaeity returning.

Well, thanks to my new acquaintance, Nicole Chaison, who edits the super-cool parenting magazine HausFrau, the sex-for-parents workshop (or should we call it a marathon?) can begin.

HausFrau deals with visceral family challenges: head lice, (best comic book ever on the subject)  traveling with kids, and of course, sex. Nicole sent me letters from her readers, who asked— without flinching—  about loaded post-natal topics like low libido, boring sex, anal sex, privacy, children storming your bedroom door, and whether labor and orgasms are related. We're publishing my answers in HausFrau's next issue!

I was inspired by one of the mother-to-be's who asked, "Can I keep doing one of my favorite sexual activities without hurting the baby?" She means fisting. Of course, this woman hasn't given birth yet, so she has yet to find out that her new favorite activity is going to be falling to sleep for a thousand years.

Meanwhile, here's a preview of what we talked about, from my latest In Bed audio show, where I shared a few of Nicole's letters, and my responses:

Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show: LINK

$2 a show, for a year; why not? LINK
 

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions and feedback about the show to susie@audible.com. (Episode 351, August 1, 2008)

Photo Credit: The Brady Bunch Movie (not the series, the movie!) is one of the best gay stoner sex-positive movies ever. Ever.


July 30, 2008

The Questions No One Ever Asks About Open Relationships

Three Susie Bright Interviews Tristan Taormino: What's the Deal with "Open" Relationships?

Download this free sample of In Bed with Susie Bright!

Here's the iTunes link.

Tristan Taormino, Vivid Video's celebrated movie maker, author of Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women and editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series, has done it again: she's written a hands-on book, titled Opening Up, A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships— about how to deal with all the issues that come up with non-monogamy.

Susie puts Tristan to the test! What if your lover throws a jealous fit at every play party and then denies it? How do you have kids and stay the course in a poly family? What if one partner is on the prowl and the other couldn't care less? Why do monogamous folks think they're doing any better?  These two get a little carried away.....

If you like this sample and want to hear more, you can subscribe (for $2 a show) to my weekly show at Audible.com. I'm offering a 12-episode season on iTunes to give new listeners a taste.

Painting by: John Weiss. I got a wild hair to illustrate this story with photo stills of the old TV show, "Three's Company," but this portrait by popped up in my search. They're so much deeper.

July 18, 2008

The Spitting Truth with Chelsea Girl

QRhLmXiQ9jIlcZ3zy4ujhYyFbTBQb39D0280   Interview with Sex Blogger, Chelsea Girl

Download this free sample of In Bed with Susie Bright!

Here's the iTunes link.

Susie talks with legendary sex blogger, "Chelsea Girl." They discuss "viscous porn-starry spit," stripteasing your way to a scholarly interest in Victorian erotica, and Chelsea's always-revealing web diary, Pretty Dumb Things.

If you like this sample and want to hear more, you can subscribe (for $2 a show) to my weekly show at Audible.com. I'm offering a 12-episode season on iTunes to give new listeners a taste!

July 15, 2008

My Daughter, My Sister, My Mom— The Porn Star

LeatherSML Today, on my In Bed podcast, I've made a special hour and a half compilation of my most personal interviews and oral histories of women in the porn business.


The Bizarre Destiny of Linda Lovelace,

Peep Show Secrets with Carol Queen,

Masturbation Guru Betty Dodson on her insights into younger lovers,

How Candida Royalle went from "shut up, you're just a porn star," to the pioneer of women's erotica,

The Truth About Traci Lords,

How Tristan Taormino made the first Anal Sex movies with a Woman's Point of View,

Greta Christina on fisting, the nature of "extreme" porn, and why the porn industry gets nervous about just how far women's fantasies go.



Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show: LINK

$2 a show, for a year, why not? LINK
 


It starts with my memories of Linda Lovelace, whom I encountered in some of those "Only in LA" moments that define the 1970s for me. I witnessed her crowning stage moment at Cal Jam 1 on my first acid trip, in 10th grade...just for starters!  The phenomenon of her career and my own early impressions of porn are inseparable. I recorded this before her untimely death.

Another personal history here is my memories of Traci Lords. I covered Traci as a Penthouse film critic, (and, bizarrely, appeared with her in the same movie, The Grafenberg Spot), before her revelations that she was working as an underage performer.

The other audio segments are frank interviews with my friends about their personal and professional lives in the sex business.

I've been sisters and colleagues with these women for many years... we don't put on an act, or dress up the facts. There's no politically-correct, cheerleading for porn—trying to make it cute for the mike. You may have never heard women talk about sex this way, and if you have, you're going to feel in very good company!


Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions and feedback about the show to susie@audible.com.

Photo Credit: Honey Lee Cottrell, 1984, Kathy Andrew's first leatherwork studio, for On Our Backs

July 12, 2008

No Sex, No Pity

Merchandising_1 Today, on my In Bed podcast, I take a look into the darker side of the Sex and the City phenomenon.

You know, I wouldn't care so much if those four neanderthal-ettes showed you how to shop for sexual insight— if that's their forté— but they even fail at that.

An unintentional erotic moment in the movie makes the point quite bitterly: three of the girlfriends realize that their fourth, Miranda, has neglected to shave her bikini line.

The camera shows a close-up of a couple of errant bright-red pubic hairs curling out from Miranda's upper thigh.

Her BFFs excoriate her: How can she destroy any hope of a sex life by refusing to shave! She must be turning her back on men altogether!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is what red cunt hair, the most prized of all genital details, has been reduced to.

When the film debuted, I spoke to Susannah Breslin at Salon, about the nausea of SATC:

"Did you see the recent New Yorker essay, "The Fall of Conservatism," by George Packer?  It paraphrases social theorist Eric Hoffer: 'Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.'

"Sex and the City is the 'racket' part of what once was recognizable as the sexual self-emancipation of the feminist movement... I can't watch these women, you know, make asses of themselves and be so petty and small-minded about sexual possibility. I take it too personally."


Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Get the show free for a month: LINK

$2 a show, for a year, why not? LINK
 

In the second half of my show, a news story in France catches my eye- can a traditional marriage can be annulled because the wife isn't a virgin?

And finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I answer a letter from a worried mom: "My son is way too sexually precocious, and it's causing me alarm..."



Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, and feedback about the show, to susie@audible.com. (Episode 347, July 4, 2008).

Photo Credit: This image is the top hit when you search Google for "Merchandising."

July 03, 2008

Fuck, Marry, Kill: What Sex Game Are YOU Playing?

0,,5726110,00 Susie Talks to the Strip Poker and Sex Game Experts

Download the free interview!

Here's the iTunes link.

Susie investigates why people love Sex Games— the card-playing, "Truth or Dare" kind— and why usually-monogamous couples will push the envelope if "rules of the game" are employed. 

One avid player named Amy told me: "Two reasons I like to play sex games: a), the joy of winning!— and,  b), the threat of losing!"

Uh... don't let Amy get me in a headlock!

I discovered  the iTunes sex side of podcasting when I met the people behind of one of the most popular new sex games ever, Great Sex Games. They certainly have improved "Spin the Bottle," but remember— I'm still too scared to play with Amy.

One of my author friends, Shanna Germain, just wrote a story for me* that involves a sex game called "Fuck Marry Kill." She was surprised when I told her I didn't know what FMK means— but I love that title.

Has everyone played this except me? The rules are, you get put on the hot seat, and asked to choose among a group of people— either your companions, or a hypothetical list they give you— who you would fuck, who you would marry, who you would... assassinate. What if all three amount to the same person?

If you like this sample and want to hear more, you can subscribe (for $2 a show) to my weekly show at Audible.com. I'm offering a 12-episode season on iTunes to give new listeners a taste!


Photo Credit: Yes, I have played Naked Twister.
* More on this soon! I'm doing a new erotic collection....

June 21, 2008

Susie and Tristan Taormino Crack the Poly Nut

nerTristan on Stairs Today, on my In Bed podcast, Tristan Taormino and her lover Colten, along with Pal Joey, came to Santa Cruz— lured by my promise of "the best hot fudge sundae you ever had"— to talk to me about TT's new book, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.

I was determined to stump Tristan on non-monogamy, but I give up! She has fucking heard it all!


Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show: LINK

Get the show free for a month: LINK

$2 a show, for a year; why not? LINK
 


Tristan and I tear into all the non-polite questions of open relationships! 


Reconsidering the so-called "sexless marriage"

What to do with a lover who monopolizes your vagina at the play party... Cock-blockers!

“I’m not very jealous in real life, but my fantasy life revolves around competition... What gives?”

The visceral experience of jealousy

Your family-of-origin experience— doesn’t make any damn difference!

Porn star poly savvy

Reconsidering the so-called "Sexless Marriage"

So, what do people actually do at Tristan's "Open Relationship" workshops?

Monogamy— yes, monogamy!—  as a radical choice

If I’m poly, do I have to say "yes" to everyone to prove a point?

When your lover’s getting all the action, and you’re sitting there fuming....

How kids feel about their “swinger” moms and dads? Or any mom and dad, for that matter...

How do you deal with the all-consuming crush part of a new, additional love, besides having faith you can ride it out?



My favorite part of TT's book are her interviews with dozens of lovers, who give you a real sense of the variety of human love. This is no single stereotype, like the "hip young triad splitting their espresso tab and licking each other in a daisy chain."

It's people with kids, it's people who did one thing for five years, and then changed it up— and then transitioned yet again. It's kinky, it's vanilla, it's long-distance, it's high school sweethearts, it's grandma, it's genderfuck. There is no one poly person or one poly question!

Tristan is also keeping a blog of her Opening Up book tour and workshops— that's how I'm keeping tab on her! Plus, all those cute doggie pictures...


Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 345, June 20, 2008)

Susie Bright & Betty Dodson Take Over iTunes!

IMG_5235 In Bed with Susie Bright Podcast Sampler - Interview with Betty Dodson, The Jill-Off Godmother


Susie and Betty, on iTunes at last!

Click link above to listen to the whole interview...

If Betty Dodson didn't invent female masturbation, she was the first woman to wave the pink flag. This 78-year-old is not afraid to tell it like it is.

Dodson first made headlines back in 1974 with her book Liberating Masturbation, and went on to inspire the whole idea behind The Vagina Monologues.

Susie and Betty discuss the G-Spot, inter-generational sex— and what it was like when Betty's mom first asked her daughter about her clitoris.

This special INWSB show for iTunes is part of a twelve-episode free sampler we've produced for iTunes Podcast fans, in their Health:Sexuality category. Thanks to Lorax and Kidder for all their help!

(If you're already an In Bed listener, this is your chance to turn on your skeptical friends, with a free taste! Then let them be seduced into the depravity...)

If you are intrigued with this sample and want to hear more, you can subscribe to my weekly show at Audible for less than 2 crackers a week...



June 17, 2008

Credible Porn, "Female-Led" Relationships, Ejaculation Jump Rope, & The Ultimate Massage!

LovelettersMy favorite part of my audio show is my mailbox: the letters, secrets, and sex questions I get make me feel like a priestess in a liberated confession booth.

This week, on my show, I catch up with a stack of correspondence that I couldn't  delay another minute:


A female erotic film fan asks, "What are the best "Netflix"-style places to find porn rentals... with no bullshit, no spam?"

Listener James B. asks, "How do porn stars 'stay healthy'?"— and I ask, "Why do people NOT in the sex trade keep asking this question?"

The mainstream assumptions health issues in the sex and entertainment trade are astray from the reality— they say more about the spectators' fears, than the actor's bill of health...

Next, a husband and wife are looking into commiting themselves to a "female-led relationship," and from hubby's description of where they're at now, I wonder, how much is sexual deprivation part of this plan? It's no fun eroticizing domination and submission  if you rarely, if ever, get off. When do kinky contracts become drudgery?

One of my favorite fans asks, "Will female ejaculation help a woman keep tight as a drum?" vanquishing all incontinence? One happy camper testifies, and I put in my two cents...

Finally, how can a interested client read between the lines of "masseuse ads," to find the the truly transcendent practicioners? Mere pedicures or shiatsu will never live up to this! This one listener's story made me drool:


Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

Get the show free for a month: LINK

Or, listen every week— join the cult!  LINK



Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, to Susie, anytime. (Episode 344, June 13, 2008)

June 09, 2008

Wife Promises Husband: Sex Every Single Night for a Year

Weegeeslide4Devoted wife, Charla Muller, wanted to give her husband an unforgettable present for his 40th Birthday. This is what she came up with: sex, every single night, for 365 days.

This is a Southern, Christian couple with three kids and a life that, as Charla describes, had become increasingly "blah" in the sex dept.: "My cheese was every so slowly slipping off my cracker..."

She is funny. She is also clever, and hass written a book about this unusual year, called  365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy, which chronicles her husband's reaction, how they really made out for the next year, and what she gave him for his forty-first birthday: golf clubs.

I'd still like to pry a few more of the X-rated details out of her:


Listen to an excerpt

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

Get the show free for a month: LINK

12 month sub (the best deal): LINK


On the second half of my audio show, I have a science question: What are the erotic possibilities of hell freezing over, as opposed to the sexual consequences of hell boiling over?

A radical professor in Oklahoma asked his engineering students to define Hell, and only one of his students got an "A" for his answer— read here to see if you could do any better!

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, a listener asks: "how can a menstrual cup bring my experienced vagina to a complete standstill?!"



Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 342, May 30, 2008).

Photo: The new WeeGee exhibit in Indiana...wow.

May 30, 2008

CGI vs. Porn Stars: Which Is Which? Only the FBI Knows

 

Thumb_16337341 Today, on my In Bed audio show, I look at an exposé from reporter Debbie Nathan, who just got back from a research convention of The Academy of Forensic Sciences  to discover what the geeks at the FBI have learned about the relationship, and potential, between "real" and "computer-generated" (CG) pornographic images.

The police's particular interest, in this case, is child abuse. Sexualized images of real children are illegal, but computer-generated images are not prosecuted in the U.S., as yet, because they don't show actual kids.

This debate has gotten hotter, because it's now difficult to tell what's real— computer-editing programs are facile enough to turn anyone, theoretically, into an amateur touch-up artist.

Many questions arise from the Feds' investigations. Do virtual pictures attract people with ill intent or actions toward children? Or is this a bizarre, if preferable, method of harm reduction?

Nathan writes:

Back in the 1990s, the government outlawed CG images of sexualized children.

But a few years later, ruling in a case called Ashcroft v. Free Speech Coalition, the Supreme Court said CG child porn is legal... the general consensus was that the technological state-of-the-art for CG human images wasn’t so good anyway.

If you concocted a CG image of a child having sex, the thinking went, it wouldn’t fool anyone, because it was too low-tech to seem real.

Within a couple of years, though, people caught with child porn images were going to court and claiming they didn’t have anything real, only CG — and that if the government thought otherwise, it would have to prove it.

The government developed several responses. One: find the actual child depicted in the pornography, and bring that real child into court, or bring in the cop who handled her case. This would show beyond a doubt that the defendant’s material was not CG.

Another strategy is to match the images in evidence to others previously collected by the feds, then show that the whole set dates to pre-Photoshop times, back when anything that looked like a photograph of a real kid really was real.

But what if child victims and old photo sets aren’t available? A third government technique is to tell courts that the average person (an FBI agent, a jury member) can still distinguish what’s real and what’s CG, just by looking with the naked eye.

Is this true? The government would like us to think so. But in point of fact, the boundary between real and CG is getting fuzzier by the year – and the feds are nervous.


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Virtuallips1 Check out Debbie's site to see more incredibly realistic (G-rated! of course) CG images,  and to read the rest of her story...  it's a science fiction novel come to life:

"After [the experts'] presentations, it seemed clear that the technology exists to make real child porn look fake. And — much more significantly — to make CG porn which looks genuine enough to fool ordinary people.

An obvious question that comes to mind, then, is: how much of this sophisticated child CG is already on the Internet?
 
My sense from attending the workshops is: Probably hardly any.

But the scarcity has little to do with technology. The digital world is now rife with graphics professionals and hobbyists who spend lots of time creating reasonably real-looking virtual people as still images – adults and kids. CG adults (especially women) often look “sexy.” Sometimes they’re even having sex. But virtual kids are not portrayed sexually (though teen girls often look “come hither”). CG kids remain chaste, probably, because there’s no commercial market for child porn and thus no significant money to be made by doing virtual renditions of the stuff.

Hobbyists, of course, don’t need money to pursue their passions. But even they are probably reluctant to do CG child porn. It’s not like they can post it on graphic arts websites and get props from fellow artists.

Plus, virtual child porn is legal in the US, but it’s outlawed in many other countries. If an American’s CG smut got emailed overseas, he could get in big trouble.

Given the above, I bet most defendants and their attorneys who raise the CG defense are bullshitting. They’ve probably been caught with the real thing..."


Sappho_cm Also on my show, today, I get the dirt on a couple of cranky citizens from the Greek Island of Lesbos who aren't happy sharing their name with lesbians.

A court date has been set to stop a Greek gay rights organization from calling themselves lesbians... it seems Jerry Falwell's spirit lives on, in every nook and corner.

Let us quote Sappho, the most famous Lesbian citizen of all, in both senses of the word:

I have not had one word from her

Frankly I wish I were dead
When she left, she wept

a great deal; she said to me, "This parting must be
endured, Sappho. I go unwillingly."

I said, "Go, and be happy
but remember (you know
well) whom you leave shackled by love

"If you forget me, think
of our gifts to Aphrodite
and all the loveliness that we shared

"all the violet tiaras,
braided rosebuds, dill and
crocus twined around your young neck

"myrrh poured on your head
and on soft mats girls with
all that they most wished for beside them

"while no voices chanted
choruses without ours,
no woodlot bloomed in spring without song..."

Frankly, I'd be honored to live in a place inspired by her work, and I'm sure many Lesbians and lesbians, are!

Last, in my audio show mailbag, a listener writes in who's having a hard time meeting girls in the cadre ranks of the anti-porn, anti-violence campaign he belongs to.... I've been this lad's shoes, myself!

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 341, May 23, 2008)

Photos: Computer-Generated examples from Debbie Nathan's story.  Sappho bust from Musei Capitolini.

Sappho Translation: Mary Barnard

May 19, 2008

Can Masturbation Save Men From Prostate Cancer?

Mag060050tomorrowsman0458fThe next guilty teenage boy you see on the street... buttonhole him, and whisper, "You're not doing it ENOUGH! You better beat off like your life depended on it!"

A new study shows that regular masturbation can reduce the risk of developing prostate cancer. Seriously.

The Australian researchers who carried out the tests found men who ejaculate more then five times a week were better off then men with more modest numbers. And the younger you start, the better the results.

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Also on today’s show, I take a look at one literary author's secret success in writing erotic novels. Writer Rupert Smith takes on the "nom de porn" as James Lear as he writes steamy gay porn fiction.

I think that erotic literature serves the same purpose as other genre fiction, but with a more literal outcome. A good crime novel, be it by Agatha Christie or Alexander McCall Smith, provides a failsafe formula of crime, investigation and solution. The porn parallel is encounter, seduction and sex. While a whodunnit plots this pattern across an entire book, a porn writer must repeat it several times within one novel, allowing the reader time to recover before revving up the engines again. The reason why dirty books remain in the shadows is very simple: the book trade is not comfortable with masturbation. Books in which children are abused, women murdered and men brutalised crowd the shelves of WH Smith. Books in which consenting adults enjoy each other for the healthy entertainment of literate wankers do not.

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, a listener reminisces about her debauched youth in New Orleans, in our continuing conversation about why we love this city so much!


Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 340, May 16, 2008)

Photo: Tomorrow's Man! From Homobilia

May 12, 2008

Little Lord Stuck Pants

463px16thcgermanwoodcutchastitybe_2Do you remember when Eldridge Cleaver designed those  "Penis Pants" that— shall we say— blemished his career as a sane person and ardent revolutionary?

Well, I've found his evil twin, in Jakarta.

A massage parlor operator and Project Runway Wanna-Be named Frank has designed "Chastity Pants" for his female workers, that have sewn-in padlocks across the zippers. He has the key, and uses it every shift.

The nouveau chastity belt is his response to a religious Fundie "crackdown" on immorality in the Indonesian tourist districts. I'm sure they'll vanquish prostitution in no time at all! But, in the meantime, I think Frankie may be getting some orders from abroad...

 

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Also on today’s show, an indignant (yet curious) girlfriend finds porn on his boyfriend's computer... and lives to tell the tale! The best part is when she discovers her own unforeseen nocturnal habits, thanks to her candid conversation with her lover.

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I get a letter from a swinging couple who have questions about sex with someone with a serious disability.

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free-subscription girly cards to: susie@audible.com. (Episode 339, May 9, 2008).

Thanks to Johnathan, Derrick, for the news tips.

April 29, 2008

Squirting Videos Make Federal Prosecutor Mad as a Wet Hen

Barbieken Deep in the bowels of Washington, a federal US Attorney is watching porn videos. Lots of porn videos. They are looking for crime, they're looking for a cause, a way to bring back integrity to the US Attorney's Office.

Now they've found one: filing an obscenity case against porn legend John Stagliano, and his company Evil Angel— for "squirting fetish" footage.

You remember what happened to the federal prosecutors under the Bush admin, right? Everyone who was interested in white collar crime, corruption, extortion, and child-kidnapping was told to fly right and start focussing on porno:

Two of the fired U.S. attorneys, Dan Bogden of Nevada and Paul Charlton of Arizona, were pressured by a top Justice Department official last fall to commit resources to adult obscenity cases, even though both of their offices faced serious shortages of manpower. Each of them warned top officials that pursuing the obscenity cases would force them to pull prosecutors away from other significant criminal investigations.

In Nevada, ongoing cases included gang violence and racketeering, corporate healthcare fraud, and the prosecution of a Republican official on corruption charges. In Arizona, they included multiple investigations of child exploitation, including "traveler" cases in which pedophiles arrive from elsewhere to meet children they've targeted online.

Anyone who didn't toe the line, was fired and replaced with one of the Bible College grads who could follow simple instructions.

Yes, but this is old news. What's interesting is that the screening room hasn't shut down. The feds are watching more porn than ever. The ones that freak them out the most aren't the hard cocks, the interracial sex, the homosexual taboos that so often frequented past federal investigations. That's so 80s.

No, the movies they're going after this time, are a milestone in obscenity trials. No one ever used to pay attention to female orgasm in porn tapes before... it was like Queen Victoria dismissing lesbianism. It just didn't count for them. Dick was all that mattered.

In Milk Nymphos, Storm Squirters, and Fetish Fanatic 5 , the one common element is women simulating orgasm, and demonstrating such by squirting up a storm. The scenes are surreal, they're so inauthentic, but what's remarkable, in legal history, is that the ostensible pleasure on screen is depicting the thrill of female orgasm.

I think we have a breakthrough here. The feds want to make visible female excitement an obscenity.

 

&nbs