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May 12, 2008

Little Lord Stuck Pants

463px16thcgermanwoodcutchastitybe_2Do you remember when Eldridge Cleaver designed those  "Penis Pants" that— shall we say— blemished his career as a sane person and ardent revolutionary?

Well, I've found his evil twin, in Jakarta.

A massage parlor operator and Project Runway Wanna-Be named Frank has designed "Chastity Pants" for his female workers, that have sewn-in padlocks across the zippers. He has the key, and uses it every shift.

The nouveau chastity belt is his response to a religious Fundie "crackdown" on immorality in the Indonesian tourist districts. I'm sure they'll vanquish prostitution in no time at all! But, in the meantime, I think Frankie may be getting some orders from abroad...

 

  Listen to an excerpt 

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

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Also on today’s show, an indignant (yet curious) girlfriend finds porn on his boyfriend's computer... and lives to tell the tale! The best part is when she discovers her own unforeseen nocturnal habits, thanks to her candid conversation with her lover.

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I get a letter from a swinging couple who have questions about sex with someone with a serious disability.

Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free-subscription girly cards to: susie@audible.com. (Episode 339, May 9, 2008).

Thanks to Johnathan, Derrick, for the news tips.

April 29, 2008

Squirting Videos Make Federal Prosecutor Mad as a Wet Hen

Barbieken Deep in the bowels of Washington, a federal US Attorney is watching porn videos. Lots of porn videos. They are looking for crime, they're looking for a cause, a way to bring back integrity to the US Attorney's Office.

Now they've found one: filing an obscenity case against porn legend John Stagliano, and his company Evil Angel— for "squirting fetish" footage.

You remember what happened to the federal prosecutors under the Bush admin, right? Everyone who was interested in white collar crime, corruption, extortion, and child-kidnapping was told to fly right and start focussing on porno:

Two of the fired U.S. attorneys, Dan Bogden of Nevada and Paul Charlton of Arizona, were pressured by a top Justice Department official last fall to commit resources to adult obscenity cases, even though both of their offices faced serious shortages of manpower. Each of them warned top officials that pursuing the obscenity cases would force them to pull prosecutors away from other significant criminal investigations.

In Nevada, ongoing cases included gang violence and racketeering, corporate healthcare fraud, and the prosecution of a Republican official on corruption charges. In Arizona, they included multiple investigations of child exploitation, including "traveler" cases in which pedophiles arrive from elsewhere to meet children they've targeted online.

Anyone who didn't toe the line, was fired and replaced with one of the Bible College grads who could follow simple instructions.

Yes, but this is old news. What's interesting is that the screening room hasn't shut down. The feds are watching more porn than ever. The ones that freak them out the most aren't the hard cocks, the interracial sex, the homosexual taboos that so often frequented past federal investigations. That's so 80s.

No, the movies they're going after this time, are a milestone in obscenity trials. No one ever used to pay attention to female orgasm in porn tapes before... it was like Queen Victoria dismissing lesbianism. It just didn't count for them. Dick was all that mattered.

In Milk Nymphos, Storm Squirters, and Fetish Fanatic 5 , the one common element is women simulating orgasm, and demonstrating such by squirting up a storm. The scenes are surreal, they're so inauthentic, but what's remarkable, in legal history, is that the ostensible pleasure on screen is depicting the thrill of female orgasm.

I think we have a breakthrough here. The feds want to make visible female excitement an obscenity.

 

  Listen to an excerpt 

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

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Also on today’s show, I over my post-Paris tips on how to take a sexy vacation. From pre-flight master-Tiki madness at Terminal C, to embracing getting lost in a foreign city, to making out in public; I can offer you a different kind of travel guide.

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, I get a letter from a listener about a no-good porn-star sister.


Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 338, April 25, 2008).

Photo: I looked at stills from all the indicted videos, and I didn't find one that appealed to me as much as this screenshot from a Spanish rock band's video: Trisfe's Pornografia. Thanks to boingboing for the introduction!

April 21, 2008

I Wish I'd Never Heard of the G-Spot... and Louisiana on My Mind

Image"Don't you just love these long rainy afternoons in New Orleans when an hour isn't just an hour - but a little piece of eternity dropped into our hands... and who knows what to do with it?"

-Blanche DuBois, "A Streetcar Named Desire"


Today, on my In Bed podcast, I talk about my enchanted trip this month to New Orleans— my first since the storm. I'm still as in love with this city as the first day, twenty years ago, that I stepped foot into the spellbound eternity that Tennessee Williams describes so well.

You know what struck me about N.O. today? It was a comparison. Look at the rest of the country— we're paralyzed with anxiety about the ensuing economic collapse and environmental chaos. We're so afraid, we smell bad.

In the Gulf, in New Orleans, everyone left standing has BEEN there and DONE that. And they've got the Army Corps of Engineers tattoo on their shingle to prove it.

They've seen the worst; every day is a little bit better. They were abandoned by the federal zookeepers, left for dead, no joke. But you know what? This city won't quit. You can't kill a a bloom that's been seeded for centuries. You can't deny a flood of endurance, nor the hearts that stitched themselves together when no one thought they could keep ticking. This is the Eternal Krewe. They stomp on.

I once said that while the rest of the United States lives and dies on its work ethic, New Orleans survives and thrives on a pleasure ethic. Friends, neighbors, family— and the wee and languid hours you spend with them— that's what makes something last when you're in the middle of a disaster area. You can't buy it, and you can't strive for it. You have to live this way, you have to care about beauty, and ritual, sensuality, and communality.

The fact that Southern Louisiana and Mississippi are still standing, partying, fucking, cooking, and making music together, is testimony to a human spirit that survives out of sheer spite— and true love. This is a community of survivors. They're the early adopters of Armageddon. I found it relaxing.

I got my first decent night's sleep in months, listening to the streetcar roll by. I dreamed such wonderful pleasures. I woke up and the air smelled good.

Sure, everyone has PTSD.  There's an unspoken understanding of giving one another some room to be a little crazy, a little extra time to unfold.  "Be Nice or Leave" said the sign in many bars and eateries I walked into, and I found that advice to be just the right temperature. Everyone's been through so much here, they don't need an impatient fool's conceit or drama.

The formal reason for my appearance in this fair city, was to give a lecture at Tulane University, which I called "Beyond the Vagina," in honor of the 10th anniversary V-Day celebrations that Eve Ensler organized for New Orleans the week I was there.

Img_0255_2 What's beyond the Vag? Everything, frankly. The anatomy lesson doesn't take that long.

I met hundreds of Tulane students and faculty during my visit, and among many conversations, I asked them to indulge me in  one of my anonymous sex surveys. I ask them, among other things,  to jot down a question that might not be the easiest thing to ask on the mike, in front of everyone.

I've written the complete list here, separated by gender and age.

There's plenty to discuss, and I'll blog more in the coming days. Every campus should have a sex center/hotline/dropin where every single one of these questions gets addressed. None of them are inexplicable!

One thing I've observed lately is that women and men of every age, are obsessed with that erotic unicorn, the Grafenberg-Spot. It's hardly Louisiana; it's an American obsession.

I wish I'd never brought up the darn G-Thingy twenty years ago when I was one of the first to start writing about it. Talk about a backlash....

  Listen to an excerpt 

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

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I'll be crunching the rest of my survey numbers in the coming week, and look forward to more sex ed discussions!

Finally, thank you, especially, to the magi-eloquent Crystal Kile, the inspired Charlotte D'Ooge, the revelatory Mimi Schippers, and the silver-tongued Jonno, for their more-than-hospitable care of me during my stay. You know I'm coming back...


In Bed Goodies...Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 337, April 18, 2008)

Photos: Vivien Leigh, from the 1951's Streetcar... and the "Katrina Warriors" from the Newcomb Institute who put Susie on the table.

April 03, 2008

My Pre-Feminist Paris Porn Collection

Brigittebardot Before I left for a week in Paris, I was given the names and numbers of some "fellow travelers" in the French sexual liberation milieu. Of course, I was delighted, and eager to look them up.

I'm always interested in the Franco-American popcult attraction, because we seem endlessly inspired by each other, in ways that neither would recognize in the original. It's this glorious misunderstanding that intrigues me so.

Take The Story of O, for example. From the American standpoint, L'Histoire d'O, is perhaps the most famous "erotic novel" ever written, the epitome of the S/M fantasy. It was written by a middle-aged woman, Anne Declos, to woo her lover back to her, when he appeared to be straying.

It worked.

If you're American, and haven't read the book, thumbed the (French) graphic novel version, or watched the movie, you've missed a milestone. Not only was the title the subject of famous censorship, but decades later, it became an inspiration for the devoutly political lesbian feminist S/M movement. It's safe to say that a radical manifesto like Coming to Power owes a lot of juice to Little Ms. O.

I couldn't tell you what "O" signifies in French culture, but it certainly isn't part of a grassroots feminist radical-sex movement! That's hilarious. Americans imbue erotic liberation with gay and feminist fundamentals, but that's just not the case across the globe.

I've nearly given up telling acquaintances in France I'm a "feminist," because the word is understood so loftily there, I might as well say I'm a devotee of derivative string theory. Feminism in France doesn't signify all the "practical" things I think it means, even though they have a notorious history of feminist rebels from the French Revolution to today.

The disconnect between charismatic figures like Simone Beauvoir, versus the ordinary Frenchwoman going to work, minding her home— I don't get it. The country is as macho a society as any other classic Latin culture you might name. Even though women privately cluck over men's follies, men are so routinely deferred to, and groomed for superiority at every occasion, that it would make a typical working class American woman blow milk through her nose.

I'll give you another interesting example of recent note, that my expatriate friend Maxine explained to me.

Juno is a popular movie here right now, advertised in subways, and of great controversy. But the steam isn't about the abortion dilemma. No, the taboo in Juno is that the lead, played by Ellen Page, is a pretty young woman in her basic assets, yet she doesn't dress up as a "jolie jeune fille" ought to. She does not "adorn" herself, a key to French femininity. Juno's ragamuffin clothes and indifference to her external appearance, is a real shockeroo to  their society. French audiences find Page endearing, and they are blown away that her beauty is "internal."

Willendorf3And I didn't even notice what she was wearing.

In Paris, I also stopped introducing myself as an "erotic" critic, or editor, because I think people imagined I was using a euphemism to express the fact that I was dealing in naughty postcards to fetishistic gentlemen, or... who knows what. I got odd looks.

In France, so much erotic inspiration is mainstream, it must seem extreme to make a point out of it. A new book, a movie, a painting, may examine a sexual relationship, but that's not "erotic," that's just life. It's more realistic to introduce myself by saying, "I'm a writer."

With this background, I was pleased to be given an introduction to the well-known artist, 1960s "Happenings" auteur, and self-described sexual liberation defender, Jean-Jacques Lebel.

Lebel had a new video he showed at the Pompidieu Center last week, called The Avatars of Venus. My partner and I were excited to go, and accepted his suggestion to attend.

Venus uses the technique of morphing— that classic Star Trekkie, music-video sensation, to view a vast erotica collection, all female nudes or pinups, melting from one to another, from every century, every style. It morphs from Willendorf to Jayne Mansfield to an unnamed 70s porn model. The screen is split in two; you watch dueling morph-Venuses in tandem.

Of course it was entertaining. My response was even more acute, since I'm sure I was the only person in the room besides Mr. Lebel to be deeply familiar with all of his images. I've gazed upon each one of these female portraits so many times, with so many questions.

Mr. Lebel's collection displayed women as fetching, fecund, curvy babes who pose to display and invite. They will fuck you and they will cherish you; they will adore you and open their legs. Gotta love'em!

Not present onscreen were prepubescents, androgynes, nor the slightly, or terribly, older. It wasn't diverse in that respect— and no one stipulated he needed it to be— but what "wasn't there" was as interesting to me as what was. 

Z72676852His video had no women's point of view about her  sexual self interest. Every woman was posed as one would pose an eager pet. Now, this is nothing new; this IS the mainstream of female portraiture— I'm not daft. A lot of people outside the art or political world would look at this collection, and think, "Yeah, that's the sum-total of girlie pictures." It's the canon of celebrity and blockbuster entertainment.

But I can't imagine a contemporary American artist discussing or displaying the female body where the question of female POV wouldn't be addressed. It'd be as if you'd been locked in a bubble for the past thirty years.

It reminded me of the spectacle last year when the Republicans unveiled all their nominees for the next Presidential election, and each one of them was an aged white man. It went beyond quaint, and into the realm of "fuck-you."

Women artists transformed "cunt consciousness" in the late 60s, blew up the Madonna/whore pedestals— and fine art has never looked at female nudes the same way again. You don't have to be a cult fan of Nothing But the Girl to know this.

I puzzled over the girlie spectacle in silence. There was no soundtrack to Lebel's film. At one point, there was a pause, and an image of a veiled Muslim woman appeared, staring out at us with big eyes. I took that to mean, "Women are oppressed when they have to cover up and hide like this!" But I found myself contrarily endeared to this model, because she was the only one not broadcasting, "Hey there, sailor, new in town?"

The last film Lebel showed was a lengthy discourse between him and a critic about his documentation on the "Happenings" scene of the 1960s. The tone elevated each archival photograph of Lebel's events to a totemic level of modern artistic and political action.

True, it was a fond historical document, but it seemed Laugh-In-like chauvinistic to be so grave and unreflective about the nature of these performances... Cuban missile crisis? Show a nude chick. Vietnam tragedy? Parade a nude chick. Stop the bomb? Two nude chicks! Male nudity?— Mais non! The nude hippie girl models were swarmed with men with cameras, reminiscent of Paris Hilton and her paparazzi camp.

Since Lebel didn't take questions at the conclusion of his show, and departed with his companions, we didn't get to ask him, "Are we missing something? Are we blind with ethnocentrism? Has anyone mentioned to you...?"

But by chance, a week later, when we traveled to the South, we visited an old friend who knew Jean-Jacques back in the day. She said, "Oh god, what a hoot. Of course, he's been screamed at by everyone. He doesn't care. It's his 'e-rot-ic-a,'" she said, her lips arching each syllable.

Her laughter, as if to say, "Well, what do you expect?" made me to decide to never again use the word "erotic," in France, with a straight face.

Yokoono_4bottoms760388 After Lebel's film, there were two other shorts presented at the screening, both with a sexual bent.

The one I could follow was Yoko Ono's film, Bottoms, from 1966. Five and a half minutes. It's a continuous footage of oscillating derrieres, the crucifix of flesh between the buttocks, crossed by the fold where our thighs begin. I loved it.

Yoko and her friends are the anonymous models: men, women, young people, elderly. In many cases, you couldn't figure out, "Is it a boy or a girl?" The audience burst into nervous giggles as the fat bottoms, the saggy ones, made their appearance. No one had made A SOUND in the theater until these images appeared, so that caught my attention.

It wasn't embarrassing that they were nude, but it was embarrassing that they weren't  firm, or lovely? Rather than puritanical nerves jangling, it was the upset of the un-cute.

Lebel introduced Yoko as being a dear friend of his. They both blossomed during the avant garde of the 1960s. He is a "fellow traveler" in the derring-do, the unfettered celebration of the body, but they sure have different exposures to gender politics!

I couldn't get enough of this stimulation. I had to return to the upstairs galleries at the Pompidieu. It is all Modern art, with piles of thrilling masterpieces crammed onto one white wall after another. Your stomach flip-flops because any one  of them could transform your life— and yet the presentation of hundreds of them, in box-shaped rooms, like a demented force-feeding, makes you numb. You have to put on blinders.

Obviously, it's not just a problem at the Pompidieu... this is a sickness of many tourist-packed public spaces. As a museum-whore, fascinated with collections and obsessions, I suffer greatly.

Img_0087 I put on my blinders. I tried to enforce the privacy of my own little ecstatic world, and disappear into a single work for a private meditation. I looked for particular artists who bowl me over.

One of them is Balthus. All of his paintings portray a psycho-sexual story that puts you on the cliff of your own id.

Balthus was controversial in his day, but perhaps even more so today, for his depiction of female sexual urges and frightening childhood bitterness.

Distressed critics said of him, "What a perverted voyeur!" But when you look at the years he painted, you have to wonder what it meant back then, and the way he projected his own life into his characters. If you understand, say, that homoerotic Slash fiction is the invention of mature heterosexual women, it makes all the sense to me that Balthus was, in his imagination, as much one of his girls as he was their observer, or longing admirer.

One of his more straightforward portraits at the Pompidieu is of a woman combing her hair, with her slip falling off, one leg on a chair. It's called "Alice," 1934, after Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland.

Like all Balthus' work, it places Alice's sexual confrontation, as well as her body, in full view. She's arresting, a little spooky, the kind of work new observers might question, "Why does it feel 'pornographic,' when it's simply a female nude like a thousand others in here?" 

She's not demure. Her sex is not hidden. Balthus was unusual among modern artists to provoke these reactions from the very beginning.

Because I was in France, I thought that the descriptive index card next to the painting would offer a dull blurb on the artist. Most of these "cards" are unfailingly boring.

But instead, this description, and this description ALONE— among the entire third and fourth floor of artwork— was in a state of hysteria. To wit:

This nude is all the more disturbing for its having been painted from a clearly identifiable model, a friend of the painters called Betty Holland. Entirely recognizable then, Betty/Alice's charming face and blond hair are  contradictorily strange and disturbing. As are the outsize breast, the too-narrow waist, the thick legs, the small childish feet, and above all, the distinctly adult vulva on view in the middle of the painting to which ones gaze always returns with the same disquiet.


Img_0787 What horseshit!!

What on earth is a "distinctly adult vulva?" The model was a 23-year-old woman! Are vulvas supposed to be discreet slits that never dare take the center of a portrait? Narrow waists, thick legs, unmatched pendulous breasts— guess what? That's normal variety in female physique!

After all, it's apparently Bettie, and everyone knew it was Bettie, because of those darn thick legs! What on earth is shocking about recognizing a master painter's model? Many were notorious in their own right.

I was so taken aback by this guilty little apology of a rat-card, that I stupidly asked one of the museum "minders" if they had anyone in charge, to whom I could protest! In my worst French, I said, "Why do you show the painting if you're ashamed of it, and sickened by women's sexuality?" (Pourquoi montrez cette peinture si vous ont horrifiés d'elle?)

So, I put it to you... since I have a scattershot knowledge of art history. The one thing I know well is sexual representation. I expected the French museum world to be old-school, but not the least puritanical about a Polish/French legend of modern (or actually anti-modernist) art. What am I missing?

Susiepompidieu I'll tell you what activity I enjoyed the very most at the Pompidieu. They allow you to take non-flash pictures. Lots of people take out their cell phones/cameras to click away.    

Obviously, you aren't going to get any kind of decent reproduction, but what one discovers instead, is that YOU get to interact with the work by capturing it with various people relating to the artwork, or focusing on some detail, that makes it personal to you. I had a ball posing with paintings and sculptures, or finding perfect expressions of other visitors in action.

I would've given anything to be quick enough to capture the gaggle of twelve-year-old girls who walked up to "Alice," as part of their school field trip. They screamed with laughter and surprise, some half-covering their eyes. The little queen bee among them, braces flashing,  pointed her finger right at the center of the painting, at that "large" vulva, and yelled, "There! Look! At! That!"



"The Avatar of Venus" is available from Re:Voir Video Editions, or email Pip Chodorov.

Photos: Brigitte Bardot, Venus of Willendorf, Bettie Page, Yoko Ono at screening of her "Bottoms," Balthus' "Alice" at the Pompidieu, a man viewing the same, and me with Cy Twombly.

March 13, 2008

Why WASPs Stand By Their (Cheatin') Man

Pascalscreenshot I had an interesting correspondence yesterday with a reporter from Barcelona, who was covering the Spitzer scandal and wanted to know why American wives "stand by their man" after such a betrayal.

Let me share some of our conversation with you:

   Dear Ms. Bright,

My name is Juan Cañete. I am the correspondent in Washington DC for the Spanish daily El Periodico, published in Barcelona.

The Eliot Spitzer scandal has provided us with a familiar picture in American politics: a politician who appears in front of the press confessing an extramarital affair, as the wife stands next to him, stoically. 

I am preparing an story about this public ritual. Coming from a Mediterranean country like Spain, it is quite shocking to see the wife "standing by her man."

   Juan Cañeto

 

Dear Juan,

Thanks for writing me. I'm  interested in this subject too, having written before about the "cuckolded wife."

Let me address your questions:

1.Why do you think these spouses accept this kind of public humiliation?

The wives have a huge investment in their marriage... it's their career too. Their "family" is a unit that  used in their electoral campaigns to win. It's practically a requirement of office here.

2. Why is it so important for the husbands to appear with their wives?

It's contrition for sexual misconduct. The wife is understood to be the first victim, and must be the first to forgive him, if he is to have any chance with the public.

3. Why would be wrong for him to appear alone?

It would show that he had utterly failed to keep his marriage together— which again, is used as a symbol of his commitment to everyone else, his constituents.

4. What about her image? What do you think that the public thinks about the wife when she is standing by her man?

Horrified sympathy. Nausea. It's the fascination of a auto accident— someone else's tragedy is riveting. Many have fantasies about how she should cut his dick off, but at the same time think she's noble to stick by him, with a shred of dignity. We wonder if she's been paid off. People think Bill Clinton is "making up" to Hillary even now. Everyone feels a little lucky to not be a politician's wife.

5. Do you think this is a sexist situation? Do you think that if a female politician was in the same situation, her husband would stand by her?

That situation is so rare as to be irrelevant. I can't think of a single parallel example in US history. The sexism is at the root. Very few women even have the chance to test the waters on this subject. Among "ordinary" families, the husband would probably go to great lengths to cover his wife's infidelity up, because it would reflect badly on his virility. Everyone would be worried about "emasculating" him.

Let me ask you...  What would such a political wife do in Barcelona— if her husband was caught cheating on her?

I'm dying to know!

Susie

   
Periodicopic Dear Susie,

It's hard for me to imagine a political wife in Spain standing by her man in a press conference.

First of all, our politicians' private lives are  not as important as in the US. For instance, the presence of the wife in the election campaign is not as common as here.

Recently, the prime minister's wife didn't attend to a royal reception commemorating the king's birthday because she was singing with her choir. She was criticized, but not too much.

Some years ago, an important member of the conservative government left, and eventually divorced, his wife. He married a twenty-something he met in a party convention. He cheated on his wife before leaving her. Later, he left this second wife and married a third woman. It was a gossip story for the gossip press, not a political story for the serious press. He did not resign at all, and nobody asked him to. Both cheated wives gave interviews, to be sure, but to the gossip media.

I think the Spanish would not see it as a good thing for a politician to show up with his wife in a press conference. They would think, "this jerk not only cheats her, but humiliates her in public for his own selfish interest!" Probably she would be criticized for agreeing to play this PR game.

It is not that Spain is not sexist. It is indeed (at the end of the day, we invented the words 'macho' and 'machismo').

But, as you said, in our ancestral Catholic culture, the woman may "belong" to the man, but the man must fulfill his duties with her; she has "some rights." One of his duties is to protect her. It is already enough of a burden for her to have been cheated on. She does not need to appear in front the whole country as the humiliated wife.

And, quite frankly, I cannot imagine a wife doing this (not mine, for sure!). Call it the "passionate Mediterranean woman," if you want.

   Juan

   
VaquerosDear Juan,

I remembered a historical reason for why American and Spanish attitudes towards a wife's reaction to her husband's betrayal might be different.

This one is the most intriguing of all...

Lands in the US that were originally colonized by the Spanish have profoundly different property laws, regarding gender, than the areas colonized by the English.

According to traditional Spanish law, a woman comes into a marriage with her own property, and if something should happen to that marriage, her property stays with her. She could have land in her own name—  this was not thought of as "feminist," but merely matrilineal. Women's families counted for something, their historical line.

What this meant in modern American life, is that when the US became independent, the divorce laws followed the tradition set by the original settlers. In California— where I live— because the Spanish tradition is so profound, the divorce laws ALWAYS gave women half of everything earned in the marriage, plus their own property they brought with them into the marriage.  Hence, Spanish-tradition states like California were clearly favored by wives, in breakups.

Nowadays, the 50/50 breakup in divorces is much more common, but California and other Spanish-tradition states are still the minority in their property-respect for women's matrilineal lines.

In the British Protestant tradition, when a woman leaves her father's household, she leaves it all behind, and everything that she brings into the marriage becomes her husband's property. Her lot is cast with him, her identity is subsumed by his. Her maiden name, her family, is no more.

I am describing a very old tradition. I'm sure modern American spouses do not view each other this way, consciously. But there is a sense American WASP culture, unlike the Hispanic Catholic tradition, that once a woman commits herself to a man, his survival is her survival; her family is not a refuge. Silda Wall Spitzer was raised Baptist. Hillary Clinton, Methodist. That surely must affect how they cope with trauma to their relationship!

   Susie


51725sm7svl_ou01_aa240_sh20_ Dear Susie,

On the issue of property laws and how land rights have a matrilineal path in the Spanish law— this is still the case in Spain. 

In fact, women do not give up their last names when they marry and they keep their family's last names (i.e. in order to be able to trace the family tree).

But like you say, this has nothing to do with giving women their rights but, on the contrary, making sure that family property (i.e. property over which the men have decision-making power) can be traced through the generations.

At any rate, I agree with you that these two approaches, which come from long way back, do affect how women will react.

One last point: as an ancestral machista society, Spain thinks that whatever happens at home stays at home, even if we are talking about a politician.

This means that politicians are seen only in their political roles, and not necessarily as role models for good husbands/lovers/etc.

On the other hand, the fact that whatever "happens at home stays at home" means  that issues like abuse and domestic violence are hidden. It's  taken a lot of time to have laws that consider domestic abuse as a crime. Above all, it was hard (and sometimes it is still) to consider this abuse as something that must be rejected, and dealt with in the public sphere, not only at home.

Thanks again for your info and comments.

Best regards,
Juan


Illustration: Of Susie, by Pascal Steig at Powell's Bookstore event in Portland, Oregon, February 2008.

Photo from El Periodico coverage. The popular image of Silda standing by Eliot as he apologized was NOT used in the Spanish paper at all— it's considered so grotesque! This photo was their "dignified" way of illustrating the story.

Painting: "Vaqueros," by Charles Christian Nahl, 1866. Anchustz Collection.

Book Cover: Codes of Silence— Women and the Spanish Conquest of California

March 11, 2008

Pride Goeth Before Client #9

Mostovoy_1 Governor Eliot Spitzer of New York, who became famous prosecuting Wall Street crooks, has been caught on a federal wiretap, making arrangements with a high-priced prostitute.

The pro, named Kristen, called her booker after her session with Eliot to confirm that all had gone well. She said she didn't find Spitzer "difficult,"€ as some of the other girls had complained.

The booker replied to her that "Client 9," as Eliot was called, was known to ask the women "€œto do things that, like, you might not think were safe."

Aside from the kinky slap to his Mr. Clean reputation, Spitzer is also facing legal jeopardy, since, among other things, the feds are hitting him with the Mann Act, a 1910 prostitution law designed to crack down on interstate "white slavery."

Everyone would like to know how Spitzer got the money to pay an escort $4K an hour, and what government resources he might have used to meet with her, in secret. Bizarrely, Eliot used the name of one of his big donors, "George Fox," to book his rendezvous.

Yesterday, Spitzer and his wife appeared for one shaky minute before the press,€” where Spitzer said he was sorry, and that he had let down his family and his moral beliefs.

How unfortunate that this bust doesn't serve as a wakeup call to Eliot to realize his moral "beliefs" are full of it.

Only a few years ago, in 2004, Spitzer spoke "with revulsion" after announcing his arrest of eighteen people who ran an escort business out of Staten Island.

"This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multi-tiered management structure," Mr. Spitzer sputtered at the time. "€œIt was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring."

And now, his critics and many of his supporters are asking for nothing less than his resignation.

Okay.

If we could give a truth serum to all the parties involved—€” or wiretap their personal diaries— here's what we might listen in on:

The $4,300 an Hour Prostitute:

Well, first of all, I got less than half of that, and my manicurist charges almost as much.

The Wife:

There's not a political wife alive who's been schtupped by her own husband in years. If you want a career as a high profile spouse, you can kiss your sex life goodbye.

The John/Governor:

Those sons of bitches. I know who did this, and I'll destroy them if it's the last thing I do.

The Escort Service Booker:

There's a couple dozen high end joints like us operating at any time to service the Pol crowd, and we just can't charge enough. Once they start ratting out each other, they'll mess us over so bad there'll be forty people filing bankruptcy as a result of their bullshit.

The John/Governor:

What? I'm a man. I'm a human being. You thought we could do this job sober and celibate? Bullshit. There's not one man in higher office today who's NOT a john, unless he's on Prozac or radiation therapy.

The Wife:

My policy influence, my privileges,€” it's all paid with this: public humiliation, the mockery of my sexual pride, the calculation of the material price of my abandonment. Don't ask me if it was worth it. I'm not ready to resign.

The John/Governor:

Why didn't I keep a nice vanilla girlfriend on the side? I would never do this kind of heavy play with my wife or any decent woman. Nobody gets this kind of scene for free, unless they're some kind of pervert sex freak activist. Yeah, I know those people voted for me, but I'm not one of them.

The Kids:

Dad didn't do this! They're lying. Dad's so uptight about sex, there is no way he would even take his clothes off in front of anyone.

The Corporate Criminals on Spitzer's Hit List:

Oh thank god, just in the nick of time. We told the RNC they had to do something about this maniac before he brought us all down. How much did it cost to run the sting?

John and Jane Q. Screwed Public:

We needed someone— and we voted for someone— to fight for us, and now he's gone and blown it all to hell.



Should prostitution be decriminalized?

The John/Governor:

No. I need the shame to get off, and the ammo to destroy my enemies.

The Wife:

I don't want his cock anywhere near me. This is my political career, too. Give me plausible deniability and I'll give you decriminalization.

The Escort Service:

Hard to say. Prices would fall, but so would expenses. It's inevitable, so thankfully we know how to run the game no matter what the law is.

The Pro:

Decriminalizing? yes. Legalization, no. The last thing I need is a government bureaucrat topping me.

John and Jane Q. Screwed Public:

The sex fatigue has set in. Do these pols have five minutes they could spare to work for us, their constituents? We'll give Spitzer something to scream about.

The Sex Fairy:

Decriminalization, yes. Stigma-busting, yes. Realizing that we are complicated creatures and creatures have sex, yes. Contemplating why people go through so much shit to feel physical intimacy and orgasmic surrender... a lot more of that!


Photo: by Tracy Mostovoy, from Nothing But the Girl. Tracy, an accomplished photographerQuinceneara, took this portrait of her late lover in the 1980s, who was working as a dom for clients who had much in common with men like Elliot Spitzer. 

February 22, 2008

New England Erotic Legends, the Gay Marriage Exit Strategy, & the Hypnotic Lover

Susie_jessica Today, on my In Bed podcast, I tell the story of my East Coast book tour, where puritanical stoicism stokes the finest erotic minds.

Look at this list of authors with uncommon sexual insight, just from BAE's archives:

Tom Perrotta, the late John Preston, Michael Lowenthal, Amanda Nash, (the founder of Paramour), Corwin Ericson, Hanne Blank, Eric Albert, Rick Connerney, Steve Almond, Michael Bronski, Karl Iagnemma, Alicia Erian, Sue Katz, Peggy Munson, Marge Piercy, Lisa Santoro, Cecilia Tan, Sharon Wachsler — I'm sure many of these author's works are classics on your bookshelf.

I have more Bostonian literary contributors to Best American Erotica than any other region. It's such deep readers' culture there, the home of America's English language publishing. Funny how that history keeps making its stamp, whether it's the legacy of the witch trials or that of the free-thinkers and abolitionists.

I  was invited to speak in Boston, courtesy of GLAD, at Ben Franklin's old haunt, the historical Old South Meeting House, on the subject of "Whither sexual liberation?" which  fired up my best Tea Party instincts. 

I asked the audience to consider what might be our "Gay Marriage Exit Strategy." We're going to prevail on this one— and then what? I remember well after the Vietnam War, many activists asked: what holds us together now; where do we go now? It was a pretty hard bump.

After eating and drinking my way from one end of Southie to the next.. .and yes, my dining guide is forthcoming... I took the DownEaster train (fantastic!) up to Portland, Maine, for the state's first-ever erotic book reading. The tension was exquisite. I got lost in the trees, afterward, too.


  Listen to an excerpt 

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

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Also on today’s show, I have another update on yet another hypocrite from Texas: prosecutor Chuck Rosenthal, (a.k.a. "Idiot. Dumbass. Fool.") who castigated gays but now finds himself in the middle of his own sex scandal. His family-values stand against sodomy didn't take into consideration that he might himself get caught doing it.

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag,  a listener describes his pleasure doing erotic hypnosis on his lovers— and leaves me asking a few questions on his technique!


Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for girly cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 329, February 15, 2008).

Photo credit: Jessica Lockhart, my Audible show editor, and I, get a little lost on the public grounds at the Baxter School for the Deaf, at Mackworth Island.

February 16, 2008

Abortion, Robots, and The Labia Majora

Robot_goddess A few stories to lubricate the mind, if not the machine:

Debbie Nathan on the the ambivalence of how abortion is discussed in the New York Times:


"What is the New York Times' problem with abortion? The editorial page consistently supports sex education, birth control, and the right to legally end unwanted pregnancy.

"The rest of the Times, however, often seems uncomfortable with concrete applications of these principles. Not a season goes by that a news item or magazine feature doesn't imply that women who get abortions are acting with egotism, unhealthiness, and cruelty.

"The most recent instance of this is Annie Murphy Paul's "The First Ache," in last Sunday's Magazine. "When does the experience of pain begin?" the subtitle asks. "Anti-abortion activists aren't the only ones to argue that it may be in the womb."

More...


Debbie's essay is best followed up by a visit, (and perhaps your own entry), to the I'm Not Sorry web site, where women tell, simply and plainly, the story of their abortions— legal and illegal— all ages, all kinds. It's without frills, sunny rhetoric, or apologies.



I am a fan of Circlet Press, the kinky sci-fi and fantasy publisher, who have published Kal Cobalt's essential: 10 Things You Always Wanted to Know About Robot Sex on their blog:


“I write robot erotica” is a great conversation starter. Often, the questions people ask me are things I never considered at the keyboard. Other times, something I consider a basic tenet of robotica startles even the most shrewd of discussion partners. So here they are: the top ten things people either want to know about robotica or are most surprised to discover.

"1. Robots Need Lubricant.
When bringing one’s first piece of robotica to a prestigious workshop, the last thing you want to hear is the chairman saying, “Maybe you know more about this than I do, but if the metal robot is giving a human a handjob…wouldn’t that hurt without lube?”

More...


I don't know why I didn't think of this pairing before, but it's a perfect match: Heidegger Meets Vulva Portraiture:

"The German philosopher Martin Heidegger tells us that when an object or desire passes from concealment to revelation, truth appears..."

These are beautiful and vivid photographs, that remind me a lot of Joani Blank's book, but  Femalia, but with a totally different style of photography. I wish I could go to Norway and see the originals!


I'm on a 10-book tour, with Best American Erotica authors meeting me in a few different cities. It's quite, uh, challenging, to figure out how to blog regularly. I've had a few "where's the wi-fi?" meltdowns already, and it's only Day 3! Or sometimes I have the connection, but I'm so  bleary I have nothing to say. Do you know any great bloggers who write regularly on the road? Send me their links for inspiration!

Photo Credit: Robot Goddess movie still, by Michael Sullivan.

February 12, 2008

Let's Tie One On for Valentine's Day

Vaeskimo After years of giving prudent, kind, and wholesome advice for Valentine's Day, I'm throwing caution— and my marbles— to the wind, and suggesting that you might want to get smashed for your romantic holiday this year, with an erotic twist.

It works if you're alone! It works for couples! It works... thanks to books like Stoned Free: How To Get High Without Drugs... even when you're technically clean and sober!

I got inspired in my own Trip for the Day, because of some amazing Hemp Oil, both high and holy, that a friend left in a small dropper bottle at my house over the LAST holidays. Wow. It reminded me of an erotic opium intake experience I had some years ago...

 

  Listen to an excerpt 

Listen to the whole show at Audible.com: LINK

Get the show free for a month: LINK


Next, on my audio show this week,  I have an update on the infamous Pastor Ted. Remember Reverend Ted Haggard and all his woes? Well, he's back in the limelight of a failed rehab— I mean, "spiritual restoration"— and we'll look at how long it took him to fall off the wagon again. If I thought my hemp oil would help, I'd send some right over to his Phoenix lair...

Finally, in my Try This at Home mailbag, a listener asks: What is up with the "Viagra-people"? 

P.S. I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that I have a stash of the cutest, most adorable valentines you've ever seen, to share with you, on my Flickr account. They're from the 20s and 30s... my mom's childhood scrapbooks. Just print them out and start cutting, folding, and inscribing with endearments!


Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to susie@audible.com. (Episode 328, February 8, 2008).

February 01, 2008

The Family-Friendly Porn Studio

Mrclean Back in the good ole' days of the 1990s, "family-friendly" movie fans reached the breaking point.

They were tired of almost-wholesome movies like Titantic being marred by coarse language and shots of Kate Winslet's breasts. They wished they could enjoy pirate films that weren't decked with profanities. They wanted their kids to have a decent breath of fresh cinematic air— and what exasperated parent couldn't sympathize?

So the White Knights took out their scissors. A group of "clean-it-up" video pioneers based in Utah, led by the "Clean Flix" company— decided to cut the naughty bits from classic Hollywood movies, and then sell their bastardized G-rated versions.

But film directors didn't like it. Big meanies like Steven Spielberg and Robert Redford sued the pants off of Clean Flix, demanding that their raw, vulgar integrity— and final edit— be left alone. Clean Flix founder Daniel Thompson was forced to his knees by the Hollywood moguls who didn't care about his honest crusade for family entertainment that one could watch without blushing.

What DOES it take to break a man? We'll never understand, will we?

But this week, CleanFlixer Daniel Thompson has been arrested for buying blow jobs from two 14-year-old girls and trying to lure them into his private "porn studio."

According to the SLC Tribune:


The booking documents state Thompson told the 14-year-olds that his film sanitizing business was a cover for a pornography studio. He asked the girls if they would participate in making a porn movie, but they refused, the documents state.

Police found a "large quantity" of pornographic movies inside the business, along with a keg of beer, painkillers, and two cameras hooked up to a television. Thompson told police he didn't know the teenagers were under 18 or that they were paid for sex. He said pornography found at the business was for "personal use."


I have to say, my tender sensibilities are completely fuckin' floored. Greta Christina wrote me, as she forwarded the news:

Is there a sex-phobic right winger who ISN'T fucking guys, hookers, or teenagers?

Any at all?

Anywhere?


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