The New SusieTini

In our Let's Get Drunk and Screw Department:

Last weekend at BlogHer, I was offered copious Lemon Drops.

I said no. I said, "I have HAD IT with candy-cocktails."

I eschew the umbrella, I spit in your grenadine. The Lolly-i-lization of the Happy Hour has reached its nadir.

I know I've been part of the problem. I was once someone who perfected the Chocolatini. Ask my friend Helen if she still isn't raving about my perfectly-dusted cocoa martinis. 

To wit:

Sift equal parts cocoa and powered sugar onto a glass plate.

Wet and swirl the rims of chilled martini glasses into your soft cocoa mountain.

Fill your cocktail shaker halfway with crushed ice. Pour in one shot Stoli Vanille, and one shot clear Creme de Cacao. Shake and pour into the waiting glasses.

Do not even think of substitutions.

But I'm over my cocoa-puff phase now. I'm sick of sweet. Instead, I've been converted to a new drink inspired by a local organic-botanicals gin mill (you read that right) called Sarticious.

Before I showed up at their stlll and pool room, I didn't even know that gin is flavored with juniper berries, orange, or cilantro. This liquid is so exquisite you wouldn't dream of insulting it with tonic.

Now for some guests, I'd just offer a pigfoot and a straight Sarticious shot,  but I have devised a slightly tempered cocktail that I intend to impress upon Helen the next time she comes over.

Chill glass
One shot of Sarticious
Splash soda
Twist of Lime

Now take that sucker out of your mouth and try it!

Tallulah Bankhead in Faithless.