Little Susie Homebreaker

Eggnog to Die For

Homemade Eggnog. The very words incite delirium.

I only make eggnog once a year, for a big party at Yuletide. The word orgy comes to mind. I've never seen so many people's eyes roll back in their heads, simultaneously.

You want the recipe? You shall have it. It's not hard, just a bit time-consuming. You have to break a lot of eggs. And you will be spoiled. That supermarket eggnog is going to taste like Elmer's Glue after this.

My recipe is adapted from the first cookbook I ever bought with my own money when I was 16: The Vegetarian Epicure, by Anna Thomas. I have  learned more from this book about food and cooking than any other; it was my kitchen teacher... still is, actually. Before I die, I want to make every recipe in it.  More about Anna Thomas after the recipe!

Eggnog

Ingredients:

12 eggs, separated
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar
1 qt. milk     (regular, not lowfat or nonfat! preferably organic!)
1 c. cognac (optional)
1 c. dark rum (optional)
1 large orange
1 lemon
1 quart whipping cream
grated nutmeg

Special Things Needed:

a very sharp butcher knife
electric mixer
grater
potato peeler
extra eggs in case you screw up the separations (easy to do)
two big bowls to make it with
one nice bowl to serve it in, and a ladle

Method:

Beat the egg yolks and sugar until thick, then stir in the milk, cognac, and rum.

Beat the egg whites in another bowl, until they just hold a peak, and then fold them into the first ingredients.

Put this mixture away to chill for at least 3 hours. (Overnight is fine, just put plastic wrap over bowl).

Use a potato peeler to peel the very outside of the orange skin, so you have barely any white pulp on the back of the skin. You just want the pure orange rind. Cut this skin into matchsticks, as thin as possible and about 1 1/2 inches long. Yes, you need a sharp knife for this.

Grate the fresh lemon rind.

Whip the cream until it only just begins to thicken, not so much that it actually holds peaks. Stir his half-whipped cream into your chilled milk and egg mixture, and beat a few more strokes with the whisk. Stir in the lemon rind and half the orange matchsticks.

Pour the eggnog into a serving bowl. Over the top of it, sprinkle the remaining orange rind and plenty of grated nutmeg.

Serves 25 reasonable people, but only a dozen or so fanatics.

If you make it "virgin," it's easy to offer your guests liquor to add separately; just let them pour and stir.

Anna Thomas, who wrote the original of this recipe, was the author who brought "health food" into the gourmet realm. Her book came out before "Chez Panisse," before nouvelle cuisine was part of our vocabulary. And yet her recipes and philosophy were at the beginning of the whole movement.

The book was published in 1970, and in her author's bio— that touches me so— it says: "Anna Thomas... is strongly committed to the women's liberation movement..."

The book combines the techniques of French cooking with the organics of American heritage. This book taught me, as a teenager, how to make a "roux," how to bake bread, make  a crépe, a curry, and the best soups I've ever tasted. If it had been difficult to understand, I never would have attempted it at the time! She makes very nuanced techniques seem graceful to accomplish.

It only occurred to me rather late that it was all indeed "vegetarian." You don't notice it, if you're not thinking about it. This is an excellent book to move into a carnivore's home— they'll never know what hit them.

Thomas also published two sequels, The Vegetarian Epicure Book Two, and The New Vegetarian Epicure— which are excellent as well. I have them all. But I am stubbornly hung up on her first one. I bought a second one after I scorched the first!

Photo of "Kiss Eggs" by Raka, whole blog and Flickr photo collection are not to missed!

 

White House Turkey Stuffed with Leaks and Donuts

This is rich.

Remember Walter Scheib, the brilliant chef who was fired by Laura Bush’s East Wing for using traitorous French cooking techniques? — You know, like sauteing. W. hates “green food” and “wet fish,” and Scheib must have suffered under such constraints. Now he's serving his revenge— blazing hot.

Walter has just written a tell-all recipe book, White House Chef, which he's dedicated to Hillary Clinton— Quelle Surprise d'Octobre!

The Times has the whole story. For extra crumbly-Oreo satire on the same, read The Swift Report. It's more damning than not finding WMD in Iraq... it's finding out the Leaders of the Free World have No Fucking Taste Whatsoever. And critics like these fourth-estate slow-food bitches are never going to let them forget it!

Let me whet your appetite:

Scheib was a cooking diva, the fair-haired boy at the top of his class at the Culinary Institute of America. He worked his way up through the finest hotels and resorts in the country, a wunderkind, before Hillary Clinton summoned him to the White House.

Scheib was thrilled to discover his new mission. Unlike the dull reputation of many First Family kitchens, Hillary encouraged him to go wild with “what’s best about American food, wine, and entertaining.”

Of course he cooked comfort food for the Clintons, and I’m sure Bill got his share of grilled peanut butter & banana sandwiches. But for public affairs, Scheib indulged his every nouvelle inspiration. He remained in the kitchen when the Bush family moved in, and made his quiet, pained adjustments.

But at last came the Cheney merengue.

Lynne Cheney, it seems, had a social secretary named Lea Berman who had no qualification for anything other than that her husband was a sugar lobbyist who gave beau-coup dough to the Bushies.

Berman was promoted in Bush's second term to run the First Lady's social affairs, and she was a real piece of trans-fat. She insisted Scheib create an inaugural dinner menu that paid honor to the corporate brand names of a dozen top GOP donors— like Dunkin' Donuts and Coca Cola. She'd tear out pages from Martha Stewart Living for Walter and tell him to make lunch look "just like the picture.” Whenever she saw anything on Scheib’s menus that offended her, like hummus spread, she would write “yuk!” in the margins.

Wouldn't you just love to see her trussed up in one of the pots in Muki’s Kitchen?

I can't wait to read Walter's entire recipe file. Damning with faint praise is nothing compared to being cursed with Kraft Singles!

After Scheib left the White House, an East Wing leak told The Wall Street Journal that the chef had been fired because he showed “a level of arrogance” in preparing scallops for the First Family even though the president detested them. Scheib protested: “If we had been told not to serve scallops, we wouldn’t serve them.”

But what did Walter do next? He offered one of his top secret recipes to listeners on NPR radio: "Seared Scallops in the Manner of An Old Friend." Gee, I wonder who that is?

The shellfish sound delicious, but I pine for the Inaugural Stuffed Turkey With Donuts recipe— a wonderful satire— that Deanna Swift provides on her blog! I'm sure you can make this recipe, but can you TAKE it?

Coca-Cola Brined Pilgrim's Pride Turkey with Dunkin’ Donuts Old-Fashioned Cake Doughnut Sweet and Savory Stuffing

Coca-Cola Brine

1 1/4 cups salt
1 quart Coca-Cola
2 bay leaves
1 medium onion, peeled and halved
2 cloves
1 10- to 12-pound Pilgrim's Pride Whole Butter Basted Turkey

1. Place salt and Coca-Cola in a large deep pot and whisk until salt crystals dissolve. Whisk in 4 quarts cold water. Pin bay leaves to onion halves with cloves and add them to brine. Let mixture cool to room temperature.

2. Add Pilgrim's Pride turkey, placing a large heavy pot or sealed zip-top bag filled with cold water on top to keep bird submerged in Coca-Cola. Place pot in refrigerator and marinate overnight.

Dunkin Donuts Old-fashioned Cake Doughnut Sweet and Savory Stuffing

6 cups Dunkin Donuts old-fashioned cake doughnuts, chopped
2 cups diced onion
1/2 cup butter
2 cups cranberries
2 teaspoons dried rosemary
1/2 tablespoon dried sage
1 cup chicken broth

Cook onion in butter or margarine over low heat until soft. Add
doughnuts, cranberries, rosemary and sage, chicken broth,
salt and pepper to taste. Mix gently but thoroughly.

Roast Turkey

Remove Pilgrim's Pride turkey from Coca-Cola brine.

Thoroughly rinse turkey under a slow stream of cool water, rubbing gently to release salt and soda residue, both inside and out. Pat skin and both interior cavities dry. Remove neck and giblets. Begin lightly spooning doughnut stuffing into the neck cavity, then into the body cavity. After the bird has been stuffed, secure the legs to the tail. If the band of skin is not present, tie the legs securely to the tail with string. Twist the wing tips under the back of the turkey so they won't overcook.

Roast turkey, breast side down, in a preheated 325 degree oven for 2 hours. During this time, baste legs and back twice with Coca-Cola.

Dig in, everyone!