Mother-Daughter Sex Advice

A Little Taste of "Mother/Daughter Sex Advice"— From the Mother

"Afterword from the Mother" from Mother/Daughter Sex Advice

The first time I tried to publish responsible sex advice, I was sixteen. The principal at my high schoolbrought me into his office and said, “If you ever pull a stunt like this again, you’ll be thrown out of school for good.”

Guess which way I went?

It’s funny to think about my first attempt at sisterly bedroom advice. The dilemma I picked is one of the most common female sexual complaints: “What do you do when sex hurts?” — when putting anything in your vagina feels dry, painful, and horrid?

I may have been a tenth-grader with almost-zero personal sex experience, but I did know the answer: lack of lubrication. I was a feminist bookworm — if just newly sexually active — and I knew all about it.

The main way a woman gets lubricated is by being aroused, and without it, penetration is torture. I decided to write a little essay on this pressing subject for the high school paper.

I did all the science parts first — how the vagina needs lubrication, and that if you’re not generating it on your own, you need a little help — from vegetable oil or water-soluble lube. Back in the 1970s, that was K-Y jelly.

But! — the real sin, according to my Principal, was that I had added some homespun wisdom to my story. I wrote that if you couldn’t get the money for lube, or were too shy to grab olive oil out of the kitchen — you could, at the very least, take some saliva from your mouth with your fingertips, and reach down there and make things moist.

“Saliva!” I remember him shouting, like I had just screamed SLOPPY CUNT from the rooftops. “You can’t say that word!”

Oh yes I can—

Continued in  Mother/Daughter Sex Advice, "Afterword from the Mother" 

 

Photo: Joel Levine, 1974

What did Jezebel Readers Say about Our Sex Advice?

 

When our column first debuted on women's magazine Jezebel, we got a ton of reactions and feedback! Here are some of the first comments we received, that inspired us to write Mother Daughter Sex Advice... the whole book.

 

"I love this so much!!! It made me extremely teary-eyed in a good way :)"

-Bethie44

 

"Susie Bright deserves big kudos. She truly has helped pave the way for the shame-free, yes-it-is-natural-and-you-should-enjoy-it sexuality many of us women enjoy today. I was in college when she was coming into the (feminist) zeitgeist, and I am incredibly grateful for that. Her openness and utterly healthy attitude towards sex and sexuality are a beautiful thing, and I'm glad even more people will be exposed to her writing."

-ubetterwork 

 

"That was astonishing, and makes me want to go upstairs and promise my two sleeping little girls that I will be as good a mother as Ms. Bright clearly is. And I will totally be buying her book." 

-Queenjulie

 

"Love this. I hope my son grows up to find me safe and trustworthy enough that he could come to me for any kind of help. Susie and Aretha have a good thing going."

-ritualtheory

 

"Right ON Susie and Aretha! Sex-education starts at home. :)"

-can’tstopwon’tstop

 

"I'm not gonna lie. I'm jealous of you, Aretha." 

-BeSarcastic

"That is so awesome. If I were Susie I'd be really proud of my daughter, and if I were Aretha I'd be really proud of my mom. Nicely done." 

-misspell

 

 A big thank you to all our Jezebel readers and fan base that have supported us and cheered us on! 

Heather Corinna, of Scarleteen, loves our book!

Heather Corinna is the founder of the feminist sex-ed website Scarleteen and author of many books, including S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College. 

She loves our book! 

Her glowing praise for "Mother/Daughter Sex Advice": 

"This is probably not a kind of sex advice you've really seen before. These are also probably not the kind of mother-daughter conversations about sex you've seen or heard or even imagined were possible before. 

And if any of that is true for you, that's a real pity, but Susie and Aretha can fix it for you.  Aren't you lucky!

Maybe you should see this because you've sadly gone without answers to sex questions this personal and person-full, this candid, un-cautious and relaxed. Maybe you should see this because you, very unfortunately, didn't realize that parents and their growing-up kids could have conversations about sex that go this well... while still leaving room for both of them.  

Maybe you should see this because there is a profound lack in your life of the kind of in-your-cozy-sweatpants, laughing-but-not-uncomfortable-giggling sexual conversation some of us have not in sex ed classes or doctor's offices, but at dinner tables or while hanging out on the sofa on a lazy Sunday morning.

Whatever the reason, you really should see this." 

-H 

A Little Taste of "Mother/Daughter Sex Advice"— From the Daughter

 

"Introduction from the Daughter" from  Mother/Daughter Sex Advice 

My mom likes to work in bed. It’s not uncommon to see her laying on her bed, backed by millions of pillows, typing away on her computer. I usually barge right in and flop down. (Sometimes she likes the company, other times she lets me know I’m not welcome).

On one such occasion, she asked me if I wanted to help her with a work project — she said it would be really fun.

As soon as I found out that it was “answering people’s sex problems,” I jumped on board. I love giving advice! Usually I don’t have enough people to give advice to, but this time I got to sift through a bunch of "Dear Susie… " emails with my mom, and decide which ones we would feature in the column. My instinct was to answer all of them.

My mom and I have read aloud advice columns together for a long time, everything from Dear Abby, Dear Prudence, to eventually, Dear Dan Savage. I loved disagreeing with the more conservative advice columnists, and ate up the intimate details and wilder material in Dan’s column or other “adult” magazines. The people who wrote us at Jezebel tended to disclose more, which was helpful — the more details, the better.

The reaction that we got from Jezebel readers was super-mixed. Some applauded us for our wonderful mother-daughter relationship, and commented on how funny and witty we were. (Ego stroke!) Others found the idea of mother/daughter sex conversation disgusting or uncomfortable...

Continued in Mother/Daughter Sex Advice, "Introduction from the Daughter" 

Write a Review of Mother/Daughter Sex Advice— Win an Iron Chastity Belt!

 

Welcome to the  "girl-talk" you thought you'd never hear in public!

It's our first book: Mother/Daughter Sex Advice.

Susie and Aretha Bright are a Mother/Daughter team of veteran columnists from Jezebel.com, whose readers flooded them with explicit dilemmas about sexual pleasures and disasters, body issues, dating, relationships, and young marriage.  

Chapters include: 

“Dumped After 4 Years... and Still a Virgin”

“Will I Ever Get Used To Anal Sex?”

 “I Have A Tendency To Throw Up Every Time My Boyfriend Comes In My Mouth”

The Boy Who Didn’t Like Doggie

“How Can I Get My Girlfriend to Shave Her Pubic Hair?”

“I’m A Girl Who Comes Too Fast”

 Susie and Aretha? —52 and 19 when the column started. Was their advice column going to be an unending nightmare of TMI? They had to open the envelope to find out. Each took turns with the same questions, and that’s when the eye-opening arguments began! 

If you want  cutting-edge sex advice that goes beyond pregnancy-and-disease-control, if you’re ready to hear family conversations about sex that are real and refreshing (if not always agreeable!)— if you’re primed to move beyond Our Bodies Ourselves— this is the book for you.

On sale now for $8.99.  

Wanna Write a Review? 

WIN an Iron Chastity Belt— or Hitachi Magic Wand!  (Your Choice)   

1. Post a quick customer review on Amazon by May 25!

Email us a link to any Amazon review you post about our book, and we’ll put your name in a May 28 drawing for a deluxe iron chastity belt! — Or a Hitachi Magic Wand. (Your Choice).  

Yes, the chastity belt is real.  

 

2. Take your shot on GoodReads-- deadline May 25!  

Do you write about your reading list on Goodreads, Library Thing, Reddit, The Well?

Send us a link to your review and we’ll put your name in a May 28 drawing for a complete set of Susie and Aretha’s 7 all-time favorite sex-advice books .

 

3. Attn: Blog Sluts Who Can’t Shut Up & Journalists Under Fire 

Yes, we want your critique, your dissection, your interview.

Let’s make a date to run a story and we’ll give you all the goodies you need: photos, excerpts, uncensored interviews!

We’re available to  you all this month, until May 28.  Email us: [email protected]