Review by Neko Wafer
Movie Title
Swallow My Squirt 3
Director/Producer
William H.
[Not to be confused with William H Macy, apparently. There’s a thumbnail picture of Our Illustrious Director on the back
cover complete with red smoking jacket, shades, bullhorn and beret so
the viewer is sure to know Mr. William is an artiste, thankyouverymuch.]
Starring:
Several People I Had No Idea Existed!
Now, before I start, it's been awhile since I've seen hardcore live action porn. I've been drifting towards ecchi for a time, and this is my first dip back into real human action. I'm no professional, not even a pseudo-professional, and I don't analyze anything because I'm simply here to have a good time with my sweetie.
And with that said - I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I gotta admit, there’s not many things sexier than a bunch of sweaty, fluid-drenched people honestly having a fantastic day. But before you swing into action, you should watch the Behind the Scenes segment. The director is speaking with a few of the women featured in the film and I like them, surprisingly enough. I guess I wasn’t expecting much in the way of – well, gee, I don’t know. In my ignorance of porn actresses, I suppose I was expecting to meet ladies with not much going on upstairs. I was wrong – cool!
My favorite grrl by far is Annie Cruz – she’s cute and clear-spoken, and has a hell of a good time in the film. Which brings me to the main reason why I love this flick – everyone is having a great time. There’s lots of hootin’ and hollerin’, and I think the ladies are having more fun with each other than with the men.
The natural boobs are so nice to see – everything from cute little skeeter bites to the more rounded and generous handfuls, and the thighs and butts are wonderfully natural and curvy and squeezeably soft. There’s even the occasional sweet lil’ belly. Yay! If there are fake boobs in there, I couldn’t spot them.
And holy moley can these women squirt! Fluid goes everywhere – sofa, curtains, the camera lens…WOAH. It’s amazing. There’s a great deal of sharing, too – female ejaculate, male ejaculate, saliva. And don’t think I ignored the "costuming".
There’s the usual plethora of vinyl bikinis, net tops and bitch boots, but some nifty belly, tongue, nipple and labial piercings show up along with the (now requisite? It's been too long...) tattoos. Nails are typically shorter and either finished with a French manicure or dark colors (purple, black).
Long red Dragon Lady nails always made me wince. Ouch! Who wants those diving in to your vaginal/anal canal? One scene even has a cute red gingham crop top and red square-framed glasses. Alright! Guys *do* make passes at grrls who wear glasses.
Scene 1: Angela Stone, Tiana Lynn, and Marcus Leon. Mr Leon needs to work on his “acting”. He seemed glad to be there but a little too aware of the camera. You know which gal is which ‘cause Tiana’s mound is shaved in a T.
Scene 2: Annie Cruz (who’d make a sailor blush) and Georgia Peach and Jake Malone. I’d rather just call him Keith Richards’ Delightfully Pervy Twin. He’s having a great time.
Scene 3: Gianna Lynn and Flower Tucci and Mark Ashley. You barely see his face, but who cares? The women are much more fun to watch. This scene also has a touch of B&D, but just a touch, and a lot of blow-job action. The turn-off for this scene and the following one is that Ashley is so big that the grrls make gagging sounds. Bleah.
Scene 4: Kat and Jenna Presley and Ashley again. The blonde has braces, which should appeal to you folx with a Lolita luv. :lol: All I can hope for is that she doesn’t scrape his personal parts. Yikes.
Scene 5: Annie Cruz, Chelsea Rae, and Randy Spears. This is the scene with the Daisy Mae look. And once again, gagging sounds are not sexy. But it’s got Annie Cruz! Interesting – in this scene she didn't take her wedding band off. My only whine is that nearly everyone is shaved. This includes the guys. Not to my taste, as I prefer to see pubic hair so I know it’s humans having fun and not some sort of love ‘bot fest, but I know why the women are trimmed: All the better to squirt you with, my dear.
As always Yr Obdt Servant,
Neko Wafer
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