The Midwest Teen Sex Show is my newly-discovered favorite TV show of all time.
After I saw this episode on "The First Time," which is their fifth in a podcast series— I wrote them a fan letter and asked for an interview.
The interview turned out to be questions put forth by my 17-year-old daughter, Aretha Bright, and couple of her friends, who range in age from 16-18:
QUICKIES
How old are you?
Nikol: We are all in our twenties.
What's everyone's name? Are you using your real names?
Our real names are in the credits.
Nikol Hasler
Britney Barber
Guy Clark
I, Nikol, host the show. Britney plays a variety of characters.
Where ARE you all?
Britney and Guy are Chicago area, while I'm about an hour north of them in southern Wisconsin.
Do you like to fuck a lot, is that part of your motivation?
I think I can safely answer for all of us that we do rather enjoy boinking.
BASICS
How do you all know each other?
Guy and I met during our senior year of high school. Seven years later we reconnected and while I was lamenting about never having done anything cool he told me he needed a host for this project. Then he placed an ad for the "funny, sexy, girl" actress. Luckily, Britney responded. She really livens things up, and her humor matches ours perfectly.
How did you get the idea to start this?
Guy wanted to do a podcast and noticed a few years ago that there weren't any shows quite like this one out there. If the content was aimed at teens by adults, it tended to be as dry as Aunt Gerdie's chicken. There was a huge difference between this and the actual teen forums out there.
Really, what were you like when you were teenagers?
I was that girl who partied too much and had a new boyfriend every week. I spent a lot of that time moving around to different foster homes and I never quite found an identity. What I am saying is, I was flippin' cool.
Nikol, do your kids like being in your movies? How old are they?
Pelham is one, Ayden is seven, and Trast is nine. The older two love being in the show, even though they only know that basics of what we are talking about. The baby is the one to watch out for. Pretty soon he'll be writing up demanding contracts. He seems the sort.
Will you come out to California and be my BFF?
Only if you don't tell my other BFF. She'll make me give my half of the BFF heart necklace back.
What do you do when you're not making the Midwest Teen Sex movies?
I go to a lot of cub scout meetings, various music lessons and sport practices, and I have a full time job managing the offices of an online vegan company. I also cook a lot, write a lot of short stories and poetry, and teach creative writing workshops to teens.
You are so cool. if you had the money, how would you expand what you're doing? Where do you want to go with this?
It is really hard to be this cool. If we had the money, Guy would buy actual lights and a decent tripod. We'd get Britney off the meth, and I'd have a masseuses on set.
We'd like to continue making the podcasts, but expand our audience, and make enough to cover our production costs. While our show costs are nothing compared to traditional media, it does take a lot of time and effort to produce.
It'd be a lot of fun to do the Midwest Teen Sex Traveling Show, getting into local communities to do live shows for young people.
Is there a way I can help out what you're doing? How do I get in on your scene?
Tell everyone you know about the show.
Subscribe, for free, to our podcast so the numbers become even more impressive.
Donate money to our project.
Do you know a lot of teenagers? You must like teenagers- why?
Hellz ya. I'm down. (Do teenagers still say "down"? Or is it dizz-own?)
The teens I know vary from babysitters, to the students I teach.
There is an invincible spirit to being a teen. You're still smart enough to know that while everyone may have felt the way you have before, it is still important that you feel that way.
Adults shove that stuff away. We plod through the dramatic moments of life without the proper fanfare. We smile too tightly in our family photographs. So much of the time we are faking it. You think those plastic high school girls are flaky and cruel, until one day you are grown up and you find yourself tempering your answers to people in hopes that they will provide something that you need.
I like teenagers because they are still learning to be adults, yet they have the sense to still be children.
How old were you when you lost it? What was your first time like?
We're all saving ourselves for marriage. We'll let you know.
Have you ever been "abstinent"?
Yeah, when I'm not doing it.
ABOUT SOME OF THE EPISODES
"The Older Boyfriend"
When you're a sixteen year old and you're going to comm college, all you got is college guys to choose from anyway, so lighten up... Losers are at BOTH high school and junior college, there's no escape.
Fair enough. I don't know a whole lot of teenage girls going to community colleges, and I must stress that for every situation there is an "if".
What if a guy doesn't know how old you are? And you don't know right away how old they are? If they're between 16 and their early 20s, it's not always so obvious.
Doesn't this come up? I think it really should be one of the first things a boy and girl discuss. And if it isn't, by the time you decide you are going to date or sleep together, well before that condom is out of the wrapper there are a lot of things you should know about the person. I remember that a lot of older guys I dated when I was a teenager would tell me how mature I was or how old I looked and I ate it up. Like a lot of things that horny boys will say, it was all a line and the arrow pointed directly to my panties on their floor.
I'm not going to date a 30 year old, but there's gotta be some leeway here. If you know how to watch out for yourself, it depends on the situation....
Like I said, there is always an "if", an exception to the rule. But in general, I stick to my belief that older boyfriends or girlfriends are not the answer at a time when you are trying to figure yourself out.
"The First Time"
You said, "Don't expect the first time to be good;" I kinda disagree. Physically, yes, it might be stupid, but emotionally, it can be really incredible. It's not always about the physical part.
True. My intent was physical with that one. Often the emotional build up to the event can result in wondering what all of the hype is about, especially if you don't know your body well enough or trust the other person enough to say what you want them to do.
I like positions where the guy does most of the work. I don't like the performance pressure...
Lazy ass.
You don't have to use a swing or try froggy style, but you need to move around some. Keep in mind that the other person is feeling just as much pressure to be good at this sex thing. Use positioning less as a way to impress the person you are having sex with and more as a way to hit all the spots that feel the best for both of you. The more you are enjoying yourself, the more the other person will get into it, too.
"Female Masturbation"
I want B— (a girl not present) to watch this... I'm gonna show this to about five girls I know, who really need it... It's one thing for your girlfriend to tell you it's a must, but it's another when a whole group of women are telling you it's okay, you should go for it.
Yeah. B—, listen up! You don't have to be loud about it, but there is something so cool about knowing you can get yourself off. It is also a great time to fantasize. You can think about the craziest things while you are masturbating and you never have to share them with anyone. Or you can. And it can be really cool.
"Gym Class"
That "all-girl" shower scene was fucking hilarious... are any of you REALLY bi?
Yes…Guy is fluent in Portuguese and English.
CRITIQUE
You're great, 'cause you've got the "happy healthy, you-go-girl thing, but you're also snarky when you make fun of stereotypes...
I am the snarkiest when it comes to the sad stereotypes that I once fit snugly into. It is a form of belated self deprecation. Plus, the snarkiness works for us.
It's "informative" but it's entertaining, that's what works.
There is a lot of pressure to make it more informative, since it seems to be reaching a lot of teens right now. I think it was around episode three that we realized how quickly things were moving, and our earliest contacts have been from sex therapists and professionals. It is disarming in a way. We have to keep the entertainment going, but I can see now that I need to devote time to giving important information as well.
I'd rather watch your episodes than read a book, unless it has pictures.
I wish emails had pictures. And not the kind that take forever to load.
I need a whole bunch of new aunties; please come to California.
I am the worst auntie ever. I am a total strict bitch to my nieces and nephews, and I am always giving books as presents. We are coming to California. We'll be at the New Media Expo at the end of this month and the Sex Tech Conference in January. We heart California.
Don't be afraid to be funny, don't let the "serious" people get you down. Don't stop, more, more, more!!!
No chance of us giving in to the serious people. Each time a joke gets poked at we think of another that may offend even more.
I hate the part on your site where it says: If you're under 18, you need permission....
That blows. Really. Didn't like seeing that. The people who NEED to see this show the most, CAN'T ASK. Duh. They aren't getting the cutesy-pootsey safe stuff, either. Why did you put this shit in there?
I thought you got our humor. Guy didn't put that warning in there by accident.
Plus this shit is what stops us from getting sued. You want us to keep going? You deal with the parental permission warning. Use that time to make some popcorn. Popcorn goes well with MTSS.
IDEAS FOR YOUR NEXT EPISODES...
Why aren't there any teenagers in your movies? Are you going to? If a whole bunch of teens were doing what you're doing... it would be gutsy.
Sammi Dittloff, the other girl in the shower scene, it technically still a teen. I know that as time goes on we will have more of a chance to work with teenagers. For right now, our cast is limited to whoever is around to help when we are filming. Wait for us to get more established.
Where do you stand on porn vs. erotica? What is your definition? Don't wuss out!
Porn! Okay, I got over porn a while ago. An "older boyfriend" of mine used to stare at it while we had sex. It put me off. To be honest, porn is boring to me. The only kind I really like to look at is the extreme stuff, and that is just for the shock factor. As for porn vs erotica, I was not aware they were battling. Is this on PayPerView? Ahem. Porn and erotica help us form an idea of fantasy. As long as a person can draw the line between a fantastical situation and reality, it is totally healthy. Did I wuss out?
You need to DO MORE about locations for fucking, where can you get it on. What about your own bed? How could you leave that out? Where do you get some privacy?
No. You need to do more. Comment, dammit. Comment on the site about your best places to get privacy. Help us help you.
I hate to say this, really, but okay: Parents. Dealing with them. Cool Parents. Not-cool parents. Parents who have no boundaries, are always in your business.
Cool parents can be just as bad as the not cool kind. I am a cool parent and my kids already resent me for it.
Eventually we will find a way to do an episode on parents, but for now I am going to say something parentish. You have no idea how f%$*ing hard it is to raise your ass and still stay human.
Something about... LOVE. Seriously. Love and sex. Hooking up vs. relationships!
One of our recent emailers touched on this very thing. They expounded on the idea that kids are learning about sex long before they are learning about relationships.
While this is a beautiful profound statement, I think the real problem is that kids are getting misinformation about sex and being taught a cold way to distance themselves from all of the relationships in their lives. These two things hand in hand could be catastrophic.
Forget the "older boyfriend," what about the deal with the YOUNGER boyfriend? The boyfriend where you feel like you're his second mommy?
Every boyfriend, you mean. And every girlfriend. Are any of us perfectly suited for another? You learn to stick with what you can handle and try to be honest about what you can't.
Well, it's kinda boring, 'cause it's been done to death, but something about... body image, cause it's fun. Do something everyone hasn't said too much.
Body image. We touched upon it in our Gym Class episode. We will definitely have an episode focused just no beauty and self-image, just give us some time to hit the gym.
Kink? Kinky sex?
Define kinky. We'll get into fantasy and role playing and toys and such, but one person's kink is another's Sunday morning.
Oral sex... this is a must. Techniques, and participation, Theory, Guys vs. Girls. 69. The whole thing about guys getting more blow jobs more than girls get licked. That needs to be busted wide open... Yeah, we need the "We Are Entitled To Be Eaten" show.
We're on it. Doing research and stuff. Lots of research.
Okay, Susie, former teenager, has bonus questions:
SB: I was always asked, from the time I was pregnant, "What if someone tries to take your kids away for what you do?" -Meaning sex education, being outspoken about sexual politics.
And how did you respond? Did you let the askers know that the real crime is in withholding?
I just hate that there is a criminal element which is applied to speech about sex. I maintain a level of honesty with my kids. They ask me questions about sex from time to time. I think about it and will answer them honestly, unless I feel that a topic is way over their heads.
Because I am so honest with them, when the time comes that I tell them they are not ready to know about something they trust me.
Also, the Debbie Downers say, "What if your kid grows up to a conservative and hates everything you do?"
I have three kids. I expect at least one of them to become the Alex P. Keaton of my nightmares. I welcome it. I want my children to decide who they will become. At the same time I am teaching them to respect who the other people in their lives will become, too.
Do you work tight off a script, or improv— or how do you write your show?
We start with a show concept. Usually Guy, Britney and I email ideas back and forth.
Guy and I will make up little cards about what I am going to say, then we spend hours recording that four minutes you will see.
Britney doesn't use the cards, but she and Guy talk about the characters she will play.
After filming, Guy spends a lot of time sorting and editing, usually to determine that he wants something more, at which time we try to soothe him until he shoots additional scenes. Once the final cut is ready we get an email and wait to see how it is reviewed.
Were you raised religiously? How did you get over the prude factor?
Having been raised in 17 different placements, I have had the honor of being able to decide what is right for me.
This week on my audio show, I premiere an excerpt from my new audiobook, The Best American Erotica 2007. 
Can a potent pill, the "perfect drug," solve your sex problems? 
