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Today, on my In Bed podcast, Tristan Taormino and her lover Colten, along with Pal Joey, came to Santa Cruz— lured by my promise of "the best hot fudge sundae you ever had"— to talk to me about TT's new book, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.
I was determined to stump Tristan on non-monogamy, but I give up! She has fucking heard it all!
Listen to an excerpt
Listen to the whole show: LINK
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Tristan and I tear into all the non-polite questions of open relationships!
Reconsidering the so-called "sexless marriage"
What to do with a lover who monopolizes your vagina at the play party... Cock-blockers!
“I’m not very jealous in real life, but my fantasy life revolves around competition... What gives?”
The visceral experience of jealousy
Your family-of-origin experience— doesn’t make any damn difference!
Porn star poly savvy
Reconsidering the so-called "Sexless Marriage"
So, what do people actually do at Tristan's "Open Relationship" workshops?
Monogamy— yes, monogamy!— as a radical choice
If I’m poly, do I have to say "yes" to everyone to prove a point?
When your lover’s getting all the action, and you’re sitting there fuming....
How kids feel about their “swinger” moms and dads? Or any mom and dad, for that matter...
How do you deal with the all-consuming crush part of a new, additional love, besides having faith you can ride it out?
My favorite part of TT's book are her interviews with dozens of lovers, who give you a real sense of the variety of human love. This is no single stereotype, like the "hip young triad splitting their espresso tab and licking each other in a daisy chain."
It's people with kids, it's people who did one thing for five years, and then changed it up— and then transitioned yet again. It's kinky, it's vanilla, it's long-distance, it's high school sweethearts, it's grandma, it's genderfuck. There is no one poly person or one poly question!
Tristan is also keeping a blog of her Opening Up book tour and workshops— that's how I'm keeping tab on her! Plus, all those cute doggie pictures...
Don't forget, you can send your confidential questions, feedback about the show, and requests for free show coupon cards to [email protected]. (Episode 345, June 20, 2008)