When Ted Haggard got busted two years ago— for his travails as a gay john and meth party boy— our blog "Bet on Ted" that the fundamentalist pastor would not be able to keep his cock out of the cookie jar.
Sure, Teddie took the six-week cure... meanwhile, we watched and waited.
And so the worm turns: today we learn that Ted wasn't just a occasional trick or treater, but rather had a long-standing relationship with one of his young male parishoners, who was paid off by the Church to shut up... but is talking now anyway.
Sweet Jesus, I'm sick of this dude.
Haggard is not a uniquely flawed man. It's just that boners don't lie, and unless Ted fell into a coma, he was likely to be follow his desires in short order.
My readers and I decided in 2007 to place bets on what date Ted might have a "relapse" or an arrest. All pool proceeds were to be split 50/50 between the winner(s), and LYRIC, the young, loud, and proud San Francisco youth group dedicated to rootin'-tootin' social change. They are so wonderful; a tonic to all the closetted capers we've endured.
Unfortunately, none of our gamblers hit the lucky number... most of us bet on Xmas, Gay Day, or our birthdays!
I have no problem declaring that the only reason none of the occasions we picked didn't pay off was because Ted... didn't get caught that day.
However, now that Ted is busted so spectacularly, on such a huge omission from his pious record, let's reach into our wallets for that fiver we promised LYRIC— the only good to come out of this man's mendacity and greed.
If you are part of the "Bet on Ted" pool, send your $5 check, made out to LYRIC, to:
Susie Bright/Lyric Benefit
POB 8377
Santa Cruz, CA 95061
Or, you can Paypal $5 to [email protected], with the note: LYRIC
I'll pay them in one big check. We will have a few hundred dollars for them, in total— HOORAY!
If you'd like to add a little more of your money to the pot, I know they'd be so grateful. It is harder than ever, as I'm sure you know, for young people on the street, none of whom are having exploitable media moments like Mr. Ted.
I find myself sick of Haggard at this point; his brand of lying and grasping has done so much harm to our country and our hearts. I have zero interest in his "HBO documentary" and whatever cash registers that rings. Buh-bye, Mr. Used God Salesman. I won't be watching for your next fall from grace.
