Below are my favorite erotic haikus that readers sent me yesterday. Bravo! You OUTDID yourselves!
I am going to print these "finalists" out, cut them into separate pieces and then make my Siamese kitty choose which is the prize winner for the Valentine's Dare Cards— because I love them all too much.
Stay tuned to the "spoiler" at the bottom, where you can see which haiku made "Xiao" purr the most. I'll be posting the grand prize winner within the hour.
What makes a great haiku?
The form itself is lyrical, three lines in a 5-7-5 pattern of syllables. It captures a little concept that turns on its ear. It feels beautiful to read it out loud!
There's something about haiku's brevity that lends itself to erotic yearning. What can I say... these are the ones that made me squirm and smile—
From Mark S:
Warm breath, rising tide
Little man in the rowboat
Gently flows downstream
From Isla E:
tonight cicadas
and the smell of coming rain
heat builds to pressure
From Bruce H:
Bent over her bed
Fingering her rosary
Pushing sacred beads
From Jane S:
She cries out my name
as her fingers stroke the wet
place I kissed her last
From John M:
our first secret tryst
story makes me blush, wide eyed
oatmeal in my ear
From Maria S:
licking chocolate
off your shiny wet penis
is always a treat
From Robin G:
cheek strokes on soft thigh
flat palms force knees wide open
love cry, neighbors blush
From David in New Zealand:
Sable sur plages
plaisirs tous sous le soleil
le mer entre d’or.
From Bil L:
Oh! You Uterus!
Summer of my life's yearning!
Vagina, you too.
From John Kelly:
Watching you disrobe,
My body says, "Hurry up!"
My eyes say, "Slow down!"
From Paul Krassner:
I come on your face
Because I saw it on porn
Life imitates art
From Jennifer W:
Don't bend me over
Thrust first ask questions later
Seduce me with words
UPDATE: We have a winner! Jane Sooby, come on down! Send me your snail mail so I can send you a set of Dare Cards!
Illustration: The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife is an erotic woodcut made around 1820 by the Japanese artist Hokusai.
