Susie Bright's Journal

The Most Painful Display of Ass-Dialing in Cheated Wife History

Every year, my favorite political news site, Talking Points Memo, sponsors a contest to pick the most awful political acts of the year. It's a close race, every time!

I am one of five judges this year— plus TPM polled the readers too, for a popular vote. 

For example, let's consider the category:

"Meritorious Achievement in The Crazy."

My Favorite?

Ginny Thomas.

Christine O'Donnell would run for Chief Dog-Catcher in Hades if you paid her in cash. But where's the heart in her witchiness; where's the true-blue bat-shit crazy that goes beyond greed and ignorance?

I want to honor Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas' wife, Ginny Thomas this year, who did not gain one penny or vote of confidence by going off the rails one lonely autumn night in the most painful display of ass-dialing in cheated wife history.

 

Read more here,  and here, for all our choices in:

Unrefudiated Champion of Tea Party Wackiness

Most Outrageous Election Fib Issued By A Politician

Most Over-The-Top Campaign Ad

Best Tracker-Captured Freak-Out

Best Sex Scandal

Best Local Hot Mess

Best Rotten Scandal, Overall

 

Big Sex Little Death - Susie Bright's New Memoir

"I have a very scary feeling Susie Bright is not making any of this up.

"Guns, drugs, threesomes, socialist factionalism, a stabbing . . . all before she got her G.E.D.?"

— Alison Bechdel

My new memoir is called BIG SEX LITTLE DEATH, and you can pre-order it now. (Pre-ordering makes authors take heart!)

It's coming out in mid-March from Seal Press— but I'd love to share a "sneak peek" of it with you now. It's so hard to wait 'til next spring!

If you email me, I'll send you one of my favorite chapters, about my high school pinko night at the Playboy Club— and a photo from my personal scrapbook.

I can't wait to hear what you think of it! — it's been three years in the making.

 

"Susie Bright is a one-woman counterculture, a teenaged socialist revolutionary turned Reagan-era sexual freedom fighter.

"In this bittersweet memoir, she recounts a life full of political and erotic adventures and betrayals, a life at once deeply subversive and totally American, defined as it is by the idea that people should be free to express and pursue their own visions of happiness, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the prigs and scolds among us."

— Tom Perotta, author of Little Children and Election

 

Another tidbit: my first guided sex journal from Chronicle Books is coming out for Valentine's Day— designed for all the writers out there who've dreamed of creating a scandalous diary. (Send me a page when yours fills up!) 

The Black Swan Sex Spoiler - No, Not the Lesbian One

 

 

 

Okay, below is a gleeful Black Swan SPOILER...

Don't say I didn't warn you!

And yes, I enjoyed the whole thing tremendously— this isn't a Grinchy reveal.

 

 ************

 

The gossip rags have made a big fuss over the "lesbian sex scene" between the two female leads in Black Swan, who play ballet rivals and comrades.

Ahem.

There are no "lesbians" in this movie. None whatsoever. 

Even if you stretch the definition past lesbian "character" and merely focus on serious action, I'd say it requires more than 10 seconds to have a "lesbian sex scene" no matter who's on camera.

Therefore, I found the whole charge of "lesbianism" in this movie to be tabloid tinsel. It ain't no "Brokeback Ballerina." Bummer!

However...

Here's the good part about Black Swan sex: Female masturbation and cunnilingus are indicated as THE ways for a woman to come.

Typical penetration-sex is not even on the menu for our dancing heroine. All the "poking" that goes on with her is purely neurotic. 

This is such an unusual stance in a Hollywood movie, it made my film-sex-educator spine SIT UP and take notice. This is a rare representation.

The last time I saw thrilled-to-death cunnilingus in a mainstream movie was in Hal Ashby's 1978 Coming Home— when Jon Voight went down on Jane Fonda.

Yes, YOU remember that, don't you!

—Once every thirty years; that seems to be the frequency.  Contrast that with thousands of blow jobs  you see on the big screen every year,  or  the typical p/v deflowering cliché where the heroine "sees God" the moment her hymen is breached. Impressionable young minds really get the wrong idea... 

Black Swan is fantastical and pure romantic horror— there's little "realism" here, other than the magical kind.

But simply on the level of illustrating the base of women's sexuality, it was pleasing to see and hear the focus on the ballerina's clit— and not on her birth canal.  

Brava!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my tutu.

 

P.S. If you were ever a little girl or boy who pranced around in a leotard— or if you were an athlete who all but killed yourself in competition— oh yes, you have to see it! 

 

Psychedelic Santa, Re-Considering Bob Hope, Gilligan's Tough Questions, & Tom and Jerry

 

My favorite Xmas-time stories and videos from past years, all baked in a plum pudding for you: 

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie... The Bob Hope show takes off to Christmas in Vietnam, 1968. If this doesn't make you laugh in amazement and cry your eyes out, it ain't Xmas yet.  The American War Machine, back in the days when somebody actually believed in something.

 

   

 

Santa is a Mushroom Man: The Psychedelic Origins of St. Nick, Reindeers Prancing in Hallucination, and the Great Tree of the World. Seriously!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tom and Jerry's Naughty Night Before Xmas. THis is from a animator's list of the greatest old-fashioned animated cartoons of all time, which is a TOTAL treat.

 

 

 

 

Professor Russell Johnson's Christmas Movie Quiz.  If you can watch a triple feature and beg for more, you're going to love this movie quiz.  Let me know if you post your answers on your own web page somewhere!

 

 

 

Ah, Tell It Like It Is...

 

 

 

 

Just let me wiggle out of my leather jacket and we'll watch the whole show together.

Welcome, Golden Duke Curiousity-Seekers!

 

 

 

I'm a four-time judge for the Golden Dukes, noted for my ability to confront Pecksniffian sleaze, abject carnality, and full diapers— while plucking out my eyeballs one at a time.

What can I say? It's my favorite time of the year!

I know you have one question: Can I be bought? I've already received offers of homemade cookies and expert cunnilingus, so you can raise the ante from there.

The categories this year:

1. Meritorious Achievement in The Crazy

2. Unrefudiated Champion of Tea Party Wackiness

3. Most Outrageous Election Season Fib Issued By A Politician

4. Most Over-The-Top Campaign Ad

5. The George Allen Honors For Best Tracker-Captured Freak-Out

6. Best Scandal: Sex and Generalized Carnality

7. Best Scandal: Local Venue

(This is my favorite category, stuff that never made the national news!)

8. Best Scandal: General Interest

 

Here's my past Golden Dukes winners, so you can get the lay of the quicksand:

Who Got Hit With the Ugly Stick? - 2007

We Looked, We Puked, We Voted - 2008

Last Year's Biggest Crooks and Liars - 2009