In the 10th year of The Best American Erotica, we enjoyed some of the most memorable erotica ever published in the English language. We hit on best-seller lists and shit lists; we were hailed as both the decline of fine literature and as the end of hallowed traditions in mediocre smut.
"Introduction," by Susie Bright
Best American Erotica 10 Year Anniversary
I suppose our dirtiest secret is that we've had an awful lot of fun.
I decided to interview as many of our BAE author alumni as I could find, and discover a little about their writing lives and history-- as well as their sexual opinions. Out of the 257 authors I've published in BAE, I spoke to 137, and researched another 50 or so from previous interview material, Web sites, and editors' notes.
Four authors had passed away since we began the series, much to my sorrow. The ones I didn't get my hands on, as they say, "remain at large."
If anyone is offended that they don't see themselves included, I can only say-- we understand you're busy, but your mom says she wants to talk to you, and there's a check waiting for you at your last publisher's office.
At the end of this edition you'll find "Readers' Choice: The Top 100 of the Past Ten Years," your favorite BAE fiction of the decade.
I loved tallying the results, and at the same time, I have a tender spot about any sort of contest -- I wanna give a trophy to everyone. After all, fans voted on over 300 different stories, so virtually every BAE story was somebody's favorite.
Hunter Thompson, who I had no idea was a BAE reader, called me at three in the morning to tell me that "The Queen of Exit 17" was his favorite BAE selection. And yet it didn't make the Top 100.
I'm sorry, but nostalgia makes me sentimental. There is one last piece of cake to honor, the piece with the hard bean hiding inside it-- which will probably break the tooth of whoever bites down hard. That prize would go to the notorious and plentiful critics of erotica, the people who said:
"Literature and sex don't mix!"
"Women want romance, not smut!"
"Men want crotch shots, not stories!"
"Great writers don't write filth!"
"When it comes to erotica, people only want to read about themselves!"
"Why's a nice girl like you doing a dirty book like this?"
and,
"But you can't say that!"
What people don't know about erotic writers, according to my author interviews, is how sexy, wholesome, daring, brave, strong, tough, and hilarious they are. What you'll find below are my ordinary questions to them, and their extraordinary answers in return.
Q. Have you ever won an award for your writing? How about any sort of prize for your talents, no matter how silly or awful?
I've led a remarkably award-free life, although, of course, I realize that virtue is its own reward. -- Marian Phillips
I won "Best Mom" for an essay I wrote about my mother in 1972 and "Top Pop" for an essay about my father in 1973. And I won a $50 U.S. savings bond for my essay about "What America Means to Me" in 1975 (I cashed it last year and it was worth almost six hundred bucks). -- Chuck Palahniuk
I am the reigning queen of our local hamburger chain's beauty pageant -- I get free burgers and fries for life, plus my poster all over town. -- Ivy Topiary
I am a Knight of the Garter of the Order of Mark Twain (a group in Hannibal, Missouri). I hasten to add that the Miss Universe Contest won by Carter Wilson, the contestant from Virginia, in 1973 was the other Carter Wilson and not me. -- Carter Wilson
I have won boxes and boxes of awards for high school debate and made it to the state quarterfinals. Once a team forfeited when I walked in the room. ("Oh my God, it's her! Never mind. We give up.") -- Jess Wells
I was one of the "50 Most Intriguing Women" in Boston Magazine in 1996. Hee hee hee. -- Amelia Copeland
I came in second once in a competition for shortest hot pants. -- Nalo Hopkinson
I have never won any awards, trophies, etc., unless you count, to my intense embarrassment, winning the Howdy Doody look-alike smile contest when I was ten. My mother sent my picture in. -- Tsaurah Litzky (who has appeared in more BAEs than any other author -- ed.)
Musical Achievement
I used to be a classical mezzo-soprano -- I won the George Whitfield Chadwick Medal for contemporary music performance, and I was a fellow in voice performance at the Tanglewood Institute. -- Hanne Blank
Twice won "Best Bassist in Boston," according to our local magazine, The Noise. -- Margaret Weigel
I was a bassoon player, a double reed man, a player of Stravinsky's "Berceuse," from The Firebird. I wanted to be Brahms but I wasn't. -- Nicholson Baker
Special Awards
In the late seventies, I won the PIG award, from the National Organization of Women, for the most chauvinistic advertising of the year -- I was the only woman to receive it that year. I was the one who created "The Maidenform Bra Woman: You never know where she'll turn up next." -- M. J. Rose
I got a pair of engraved handcuffs for being the top academic graduate in my police academy. -- Mel Smith
"Most Christian Day Student" award for my leadership of the Missionary Committee. -- Charles Flowers
When I was twenty-two I won the Wormwood Award for "most neglected book of the year." Shit, that should have told me what the rest of my career would be like. -- Greg Boyd
Have I ever won an award of any kind for my writing? Other than being worshiped by disenfranchised teenage girls, disturbed grown men, faded strippers, runaways, would-be presidential assassins, and volunteers for chemical castration -- No, not that I remember. -- Maggie Estep
I won an award in fourth grade for the "Best Arbor Day Essay." It went, "Trees are happy, trees are gay, if they could talk here's what they'd say..." My brother Buddy won the same award eight years before me, so I just copied his essay! Did you know my brother has never read a book cover-to-cover in his entire life, except for mine? -- Lisa Palac
Sports
I won lots of baseball trophies, and many track and cross-country awards, all of which I threw away after I became a...
Continued in Best American Erotica 2003: The 10th Anniversary Edition
Illustration: Jon Bailiff, "Hunter's Phone Call at 3AM"