The day after I posted my Cassandra-like warning, Alisa Valdez, the author of The Feminist & the Cowboy, wrote on her blog that her lover had knocked her up, then immediately abandoned her, "took her back" after "miscarriage," beat the crap out of her multiple times, raped her, and threatened to kill her.
She was terrified enough at one point to jump out of a moving truck and limp sixteen bloody miles for help. She hasn't seen him since.... Jesus!
"What I actually wrote," she said on her blog,"was a handbook for women on how to fall in love with a manipulative, controlling, abusive narcissist.”
The night she posted her confession, her agent/publisher called her to take the admission down, that she was ruining her book's future.
So she did. But she's still talking about it. She seems confused and torn, like so many people with Stockholm Syndrome.
I don't appreciate being prescient about things like this. You can only watch this crime so many times before you know the how the story ends— it's horrible.
If Alisa by some miracle is reading this:
You can get what you want sexually without enduring abuse at the hands of psychos and bigots. There are butch tops, both male and female, who are kind, egalitarian, sane— and dare I mention it— "feminist."
You are not the "weaker sex," but you are being abused— and if it doesn't end with your demise, it will certainly end in bitterness. I hope you get help and I hope you get help from sex-positive comrades— not "romance" exploiters or sexist scolds.