Legs Get Led Astray, by Chloe Caldwell
Chloe Caldwell's gumption is infectious— from wanting to become a star on the Barney show, to delirious babysitting incidents, fateful bookstore crushes at the Strand, and falling in love. She's blunt, hilarious, and provocative.
Caldwell is a NorthWest Portland“It Girl” at the moment, and deserves the attention. Here's an excerpt from Legs Get Led Astray, on her childhood aspirations:
"I wanted to be Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird. I auditioned for the part at the Capital Repertory Theatre in Albany. I read a monologue. I knew on the drive there that if I got the part my social life would be gone. I knew that it was a decision I should make: acting or friends. I didn’t get the part.
"I wanted to be Mariah Carey. Sometimes people told me I looked like her. I had a round face and long curly hair. There was an MTV special on her, where she visited her old high school and I taped it on VHS and watched it every Saturday morning. I sang her songs about self-esteem in the living room.
"I wanted to be a rock star. I wanted to be Gwen Stefani. A front woman. I rocked dark lipstick on pale skin and I think I even wore a bindi. I got my belly button pierced and sprayed Sun-In in my hair. At the school talent show I sang, “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick. My best friend played bass. We had one more gig in the summer and we played “Just a Girl” by No Doubt. I stole some of No Doubt’s melodies and wrote my own words to them and claimed them as my own. I recorded the No Doubt Behind the Music on VHS and watched it after school and cried when Gwen talked about her breakup with Tony, the bass player.
"I wanted to be a hip-hop dancer and I wanted to be tan. I went tanning every day after school. It was only five bucks a pop back then, in 2002. My parents were separated at this point and I didn’t have a license yet. My dad drove me to my hip-hop class on Tuesday nights and we listened to Fly92 on the way.
"I was in a few more plays after that but then I started smoking marijuana, and then I wanted to be even more things."
And boy, did she ever!
Narrated by narrating newcomer Taylor Meskimen, who NAILS it.
-Aretha Bright
